what is a viable reasons for minor legal name change?

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porsha

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I am in the processes of trying to change my twins' last name to my own. Currently it is hyphenated with mine and their biological fathers. Father has been MIA for 2 years and have not been able to track him. Trying to make it less confusing for the kids in school but I don't want a judge to perceive that I am changing their last name out of spite. The kid's do not really remember their father and I don't want to upset them again. Had enough problems when he took off. Also unsure of how else to show that I made a reasonable attempt to contact him when he doesn't put any bills in his name and apparently is in hiding from creditors. Please help!
 
There really is no valid reason to do this. Lots of kids nowadays have hypenated names. Dad might come around eventually. I am in AZ too. On another note...have you encouraged Dad at all to come see the kids? He might be a deadbeat but the kids probaby miss him. Do you receive any child support?
 
porsha said:
I am in the processes of trying to change my twins' last name to my own. Currently it is hyphenated with mine and their biological fathers. Father has been MIA for 2 years and have not been able to track him. Trying to make it less confusing for the kids in school but I don't want a judge to perceive that I am changing their last name out of spite. The kid's do not really remember their father and I don't want to upset them again. Had enough problems when he took off. Also unsure of how else to show that I made a reasonable attempt to contact him when he doesn't put any bills in his name and apparently is in hiding from creditors. Please help!
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I'm not sure how you've tried to contact him, but in order to change their names without his permission, you will have to notify him of the court hearing "by publication". To do that, you'll have to place ads in newspapers in his last known locality/localities. There a length of time requirement.

The site below has the forms and instructions:

http://www.azcourts.gov/selfservicecenter/SelfServiceForms/NameChangeForms.aspx
 
Thank you for the posts. I am aware of the need to notify by publication however, the forms also ask for other ways that you have tried to contact the other parent. Long and short of it is that when we broke up he was seeing the children whenever it was convienent for him. He was not, nor has ever paid child support. I allowed him to see the kids because it wasn't fair to them to not see him if they wanted to regardless of our personal issues. We had a vehicle together that I cosigned on the loan and he was not paying on. The last time he saw the kids was Easter 2 years ago and then called them on their birthday in August. Since that time the most I was able to find out was that he got married and has a set of twins with his wife. He has been hiding since then by not putting any bills or anything else in his name. I'm assuming he has everything under his wife's name or a roommate. He destroyed the vehicle we had and abandoned it in a parking lot to be repossessed and owed money to friends we had when we were together. From what I was told, he changed any phone numbers he's had since then.He is not what I would call a responsible father. And when he was seeing the kids he would threaten(when he was in the mood) to take the kids from me in an effort I guess so I would not take him to court.
 
We have moved on with our lives and I am engaged. He has been helping to raise them since the kids were about 3. The kids do not really remember their father and have since started calling their stepfather "dad." I have never told them to nor encouraged them to call him "dad," they started calling him that on their own. I don't talk about their father because honestly, how do you explain that their father abandoned them when they are 3, 4, 5 years old. Anyone who wants to judge has never had to watch their 2 1/2 year old have a nervous break down the night after the one time I let their father take them overnight. The kids used to ask about their father after he disappeared but the only thing I could say is that I didn't know where he was. I didn't feel it was my job to make excuses for him but to take care of them the best way I can and to shower them with all the love I have. Eventually the kids just stopped asking. The kids have only known my last name so that is why the hyphenation is confusing to them. I do not feel its appropriate to explain everything and where that part of the name comes from at this time.
 
You DON'T explain that they've been abandoned.

EVER.

You explain that Daddy LOVES them but can't spend time with them at the moment. That is YOUR JOB as Mom.

Why would that thought even cross your mind?!

And your 2.5 year old had a nervous breakdown? Really?

Are you sure you're not being a tad melodramatic?

Seriously - if you go to court with this stuff, you're going to come across as simply trying to replace their FATHER.
 
porsha said:
We have moved on with our lives and I am engaged. He has been helping to raise them since the kids were about 3. The kids do not really remember their father and have since started calling their stepfather "dad." I have never told them to nor encouraged them to call him "dad," they started calling him that on their own. I don't talk about their father because honestly, how do you explain that their father abandoned them when they are 3, 4, 5 years old. Anyone who wants to judge has never had to watch their 2 1/2 year old have a nervous break down the night after the one time I let their father take them overnight. The kids used to ask about their father after he disappeared but the only thing I could say is that I didn't know where he was. I didn't feel it was my job to make excuses for him but to take care of them the best way I can and to shower them with all the love I have. Eventually the kids just stopped asking. The kids have only known my last name so that is why the hyphenation is confusing to them. I do not feel its appropriate to explain everything and where that part of the name comes from at this time.
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Wow. Just WOW.

How "lucky" these children are to have such a ..., "concerned"... "mother". :(
 
Proserpina said:
You DON'T explain that they've been abandoned.

EVER.

You explain that Daddy LOVES them but can't spend time with them at the moment. That is YOUR JOB as Mom.

Why would that thought even cross your mind?!

And your 2.5 year old had a nervous breakdown? Really?

Are you sure you're not being a tad melodramatic?

Seriously - if you go to court with this stuff, you're going to come across as simply trying to replace their FATHER.
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Really? I did actually say he abandoned them and I would hope as a parent that he does love them. And as a mother, I have been loving them and spending time with them from the moment they were born.

It's really sad to me that a father can get away with being "absent at the moment" (oh yeah, that would be 3 years absent) but it's ok because daddy must love you he just can't be with you right now? Are you kidding me?! No wonder men get away with being deadbeats. Because of people like you who want to blame parents that do the right thing and take care of their children while the other parent can just go their way and not have any responsiblilty. I'm sure if I had left my children and this story came from their father, it would be a whole different story and I would get crucified as a terrible mother for leaving my children. But it's ok for daddy because I'm sure he just has some things he needs to do that are more important than taking care of his children. Shame on you! :no:

I thought this forum was for actual legal information and not just cracked pot opinions by people who have nothing better to do but feed on other people's misery. I'm actually disgusted that someone who has never been in this situation would even dare comment on something they obviously know nothing about.
And trolling? Really? What am I trolling for? Help on changing my kids' last name. How dare I? What else am I looking for? Hmmm I guess I must be money hungry that's why I don't get child support. Oh right but it's My fault that their father went MIA. How ridiculous.
 
I'm sorry that children end up suffering because adults can't control their lustful passions. I wish every child could have two loving, caring parents present in their home. The only ones that get cheated and harmed are the children.

This is the 21st century, not the 1st century. Women and men have tools available to prevent pregnancy. I wish they'd use them.

Children shouldn't have to grow up never seeing their dads. Children shouldn't have to wonder who or where their dad is. I wish for lots of good things for everyone of us.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
porsha said:
Really? I did actually say he abandoned them and I would hope as a parent that he does love them. And as a mother, I have been loving them and spending time with them from the moment they were born.

It's really sad to me that a father can get away with being "absent at the moment" (oh yeah, that would be 3 years absent) but it's ok because daddy must love you he just can't be with you right now? Are you kidding me?! No wonder men get away with being deadbeats. Because of people like you who want to blame parents that do the right thing and take care of their children while the other parent can just go their way and not have any responsiblilty. I'm sure if I had left my children and this story came from their father, it would be a whole different story and I would get crucified as a terrible mother for leaving my children. But it's ok for daddy because I'm sure he just has some things he needs to do that are more important than taking care of his children. Shame on you! :no:

I thought this forum was for actual legal information and not just cracked pot opinions by people who have nothing better to do but feed on other people's misery. I'm actually disgusted that someone who has never been in this situation would even dare comment on something they obviously know nothing about.
And trolling? Really? What am I trolling for? Help on changing my kids' last name. How dare I? What else am I looking for? Hmmm I guess I must be money hungry that's why I don't get child support. Oh right but it's My fault that their father went MIA. How ridiculous.
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You make many assumptions, young lady. I do hope pointing your finger at me made you feel a little better though on this bright Saturday!

And I also hope you do not pass on such bitterness to your children.

They are, remember, 50% of your ex - following your logic, that makes the 50% deadbeat. That is not a healthy attitude.

Please get your children in counseling.
 
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