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Overrun with Child Support

Discussion in 'Child Support' started by milotheblue, May 4, 2019.

  1. milotheblue

    milotheblue Law Topic Starter New Member

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    Hi, my name is Billy and I've got two little girls whom I share joint custody over. Their mother is the primary. Not long ago her and her husband bought a house, and they have yet to set a move date. The other day, on the phone we were attempting to discuss ideas on how we can manage the days we share the kids. Toward the end of the conversation, she told me something that set off a bunch of red flags in my head. It just doesn't feel right.

    The kids' mother told me she's going to need me to sign a paper acknowledging that she's told me in a month in advance that she is moving. Over a year ago I had moved to a different town, never did I ask her to sign a paper. In our custody agreement, at the end of the weekend she is supposed to pick the girls up from my home. But because of the move, I agreed to accommodate and meet them half way. Now that she is moving and is adding on another 30 minutes to the drive (close to a full hour one way), she doesn't seem like she wants to give the same consideration. I get the sense she wants me to accommodate for her move; a move she decided to do on her own.

    My question is, is there some kind catch to her trying to get me to sign acknowledgment that she is moving?

    On top of this conversation on the phone, I told her I wasn't going to give up time on my end just because she moved. We have a legal binding agreement. Her response was that the kids will eventually be teenagers and prob won't want much time with any of us. I didn't reply, our kids are 5 and 9 years old. Then she ran the idea of me visiting the kids there and spending time at the community center there instead of taking them home on my short days. Again, it feels like she is wanting me to accommodate for their move. I accommodated for mine. I even planned to move to a town a half hour closer in 7 months. Pls help with advice or insight. I feel like she's trying to make me legally accountable for making up for her move.

    Thank you so much for your time and patience.
     
  2. milotheblue

    milotheblue Law Topic Starter New Member

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    I'm proud parent of two little girls, and from the start, I'll state that I have no problem paying child support. But my current situation is making me feel as if the amount I pay is unfair. A few years ago the kids' mother and I set up our visitation agreement, and our attorneys decided to fight over child support. It got increased, which I expected with a better paying job. It was no big deal.

    About a year ago their mom got married, and their household income went up dramatically as she got a better paying job too. Making over $15 an hour, 40 hours a week she pulls in a good amount. Her husband makes over $4000 after taxes a month. I pay $613 a month. Comparing my single income to theirs, it made my decent paying job feel like minimum wage. In no way are they struggling, and I'm barely able to hold up an apartment and other bills on top of it. I've never complained about this, I've just done the best with what I can. But recently they bought a house. I'm struggling to move out of a small apartment, and they continue to move up with no sign of struggle or financial burden holding them down. I'm happy that my kids are well taken care when they are at their mom's house. But for some reason both their incomes versus mine, the amount I pay feels like it's more of just adding to their wealth.

    Would I be in the wrong to ask for them to reduce child support? Keeping in mind their incomes together, I don't make nearly close to half of what they make together. I want the best for my kids too, but I'm starting to feel I'm getting the bad end.
     
  3. cbg

    cbg Super Moderator

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    But her husband has no legal responsibility to support your kids. You do.
     
    hrforme likes this.
  4. milotheblue

    milotheblue Law Topic Starter New Member

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    I agree, they are my responsibility, not his. So she continues to make more and more money. Driving new cars, bought a new home, and no major financial burden. And I work a good job that might as well be minimum wage. I know I'm not over reacting. I didn't have a problem with the increase of child support to my newest job. But when the income on the other end just continues to go up and I'm still paying the same amount, there is a line that needs to be drawn. I still pay my child support and still buy them clothes and food and everything my kids need in their home with me as well.
     
  5. cbg

    cbg Super Moderator

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    The thing is, your children deserve support from both parents. It's not about what your ex wife has - it's about what your children are entitled to.
     
    leslie82 and hrforme like this.
  6. milotheblue

    milotheblue Law Topic Starter New Member

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    I think you're missing the point of the post. It has nothing to do with what their entitled to. I'm not denying my responsibility to provide for them. But I do believe that my kids deserve to have a good life at both households, and when one household continues to increase income and the other household continues to pay more child support, it's no longer in favor of the kids. You can keep running the question like it's about what their entitled to, when it's not about that at all. I proudly pay child support.
     
  7. cbg

    cbg Super Moderator

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    Actually, I don't think I'm the one who's missing the point. But you have my opinion. Stand by for those of others.
     
    justblue likes this.
  8. milotheblue

    milotheblue Law Topic Starter New Member

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    Also, I'm not the first parent to acknowledge unfair amounts. I've had friends get theirs reduced under similar circumstances.

    Ok, that is your opinion. But you really should go back and read the original post. In no shape or form does it have to deal with what the kids are entitled to. But when one parent thrives and continues to increase her income, while the other loses income, there is a point when things need to be re-evaluated. I'm not gonna assume whether you have kids or not, or if you pay child support. But when we do our income evals, our case worker looks at not just my income, she looks at the other parent's inome as well and bases the monthly amount payed based on how much both parents make. But you keep beating around that and talk about entitlement to the kids.
     
  9. army judge

    army judge Super Moderator

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    The children's mother could have married a billionaire, his income doesn't matter.

    He's NOT responsible for supporting YOUR children.

    The billionaire could GIFT each child with $10,000 a week, you'd still have to cough up the court ordered $613 each month.

    If you wish to make the case that Dude Bigbucks is a billionaire hire yourself a lawyer and take it court where the judge will explain to you what @cbg and I have tried to explain to you.

    After the case ends you'll still be coughing up $613 each month to support YOUR kids, because they are not Dude Bigbucks' kids.
     
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  10. KatDini

    KatDini Well-Known Member

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    So go get another evaluation and let the State decide. You can look up a calculator and figure it out for yourself if you might pay less than you are because Mom's income has increased. However, the State is not going to figure Mom's new husband's income in at all. If you do not like the way the State figures child support, then contact your legislature. Arguing about it here will not do you any good. o_O
     
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  11. adjusterjack

    adjusterjack Super Moderator

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    Exactly.

    How you do it is you file, in court, for a modification based on a substantial change in circumstances, which is HER increase in income and any reduction in yours.

    You can ask her to voluntarily reduce the support but it will still have to be ratified by the court.

    And if she says no, off to court you go.
     
  12. KatDini

    KatDini Well-Known Member

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    What's the deal with signing the paper if you are going to move closer?
     
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  13. army judge

    army judge Super Moderator

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    You only have to do what your current court order requires you to do.

    Read the existing court order.

    Many such orders mandate that the children must reside in XXXX County, or within a 50 mile radius of XXXX County or Des Moines, IA.

    The order will probably specify what the custodial parent MUST do to break those boundaries.

    It probably addresses what the NCP must do regarding the child hand offs if he/she wishes to move.

    When you moved, maybe you got lucky and did it correctly; or she didn't care because she wanted to use that to come back you when she moved.

    Life is easier when YOU obey the court order and challenge it in court if you wish to make a change.

    Making side deals can often come back to bite both parties.

    You can also discuss the court order with YOUR lawyer for clarification.

    If she wants the order to change, simply say, she'll have to petition the court to change the order.

    If things are as you say, she'll have to do more, not you.
     
  14. justblue

    justblue Well-Known Member

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    Run the #'s and see if you could get a downward modification of support. The only income that matters is yours and mom's.
     
  15. cbg

    cbg Super Moderator

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    I'll even provide you with the link.

    Iowa Child Support

    But remember, only your income and Mom's count. Her husband's income is NOT a factor.
     
    justblue likes this.
  16. sweetlymebecky

    sweetlymebecky New Member

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    Billy plz get ahold of me I read what you are going through plz call me
     
  17. justblue

    justblue Well-Known Member

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    Do you personally know the OP?
     
  18. sweetlymebecky

    sweetlymebecky New Member

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    Yes I do know him personally
     
  19. Highwayman

    Highwayman Well-Known Member

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    So then why don't YOU call HIM?
     
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  20. cbg

    cbg Super Moderator

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    This is not an appropriate place for personal conversations, Becky. If you have something to say to one of the posters, please use the PM feature or go offsite. I've already heard from the OP requesting that we guard his privacy and we will do so.
     
    justblue likes this.

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