My rights as a parent !!!

[candi123]

It sounds like the kids are best off with their grandparents until you get yourself established somewhere. if you take them out of state you are getting into a situation where you are not able to care for them and may end up losing them for good.
Why not go ahead and move where you want to go, establish employment and a steady residence, and at the same time work with the court and obtain a custody order that compels your mother to return the children to you.

Again like i told the other commenter dont assume if you are unsure just ask it takes longer to assume something than to acually ask. I have plenty of options out of state where im planning on leaving to. Ya im not well off like they are but neither is over half of aerica and last i checked the has nothing to do with parenting. As long as they are cared for, shelter,a safe and loving environment and all needs are met not wants needs then that should be all that matters.They are no more better off with her than they are with me.. Thanks for your assumptions but not one i will lean towards.

 

[candi123]

My response was based upon the limited facts you provided.

You have a job? A home? A stable relationship? Maybe no relationship (which might be best)?

yes i do except the relationship which i dont care for but i dont see how thats got to do with the price in china.Has nothing to do with raising my children.

 

[candi123]

yes i do except the relationship which i dont care for but i dont see how thats got to do with the price in china.Has nothing to do with raising my children.

Also what part rather limited or not would make u assume that i was homeless or jobless ?????

 

[CdwJava]

yes i do except the relationship which i dont care for but i dont see how thats got to do with the price in china.Has nothing to do with raising my children.

All of those things have EVERYTHING to do with whether or not you are capable of adequately caring for a child. Having the legal right to the children and being able to care for them are different issues. I hope for the children's sake that being with you is truly the best place for them.

 

[CdwJava]

Also what part rather limited or not would make u assume that i was homeless or jobless ?????

People that have decent homes and steady work are not in the habit of packing up and leaving to other parts.

 

[candi123]

People that have decent homes and steady work are not in the habit of packing up and leaving to other parts.

Ive lived here for over 10 years. I hardly see that as a habit of packing up and leaving. There are numorous reasons for my decision, but being homeless and jobless isnt one of them. So again there u go assuming.Some times its just time to move on and havent you ever heard of transfering peaple do it all the time. It hardly means your not stable.

 

[CdwJava]

Something about your life made you admittedly unable to care for your children so you turned them over to your parents. Experience tells me that there are a number of possibilities and these usually include lack of employment or stable housing. I have been at this game for a very long time, and have dealt with a great many situations similar to this so I have a good deal of experience to draw from. Yes, it is inference and assumption, but you leave us with little else as you have provided no details.

So, perhaps you would care to enlighten us how things have changed over that time so that where you were once unable to care for your children you are now ABLE to do so? Now, after four years you have suddenly decided you want to play mom and have your kids back? What has changed? Certainly it had to do with you and your situation, unless you just decided life was easier without the kids. As such, what about your situation has changed for the better? Is it now stable? Are you absolutely capable of providing for your children at least as well as your parents have been?

Have you brought the police to the home to reclaim your children? If not, why not?

 

[candi123]

All of those things have EVERYTHING to do with whether or not you are capable of adequately caring for a child. Having the legal right to the children and being able to care for them are different issues. I hope for the children's sake that being with you is truly the best place for them.

Ok of course the job and home are important for caring for a child. I never said it wasnt. But being in a relationship has absolutly nothing to do with it ill argue that till the end ive been a single mom for 8 yrs now and there are over millions of single men and single women doing the same with no question as to if there a good parent because they dont have a significant other so thats just silly of u to say that that remains a factor in anything. Also i can clearly see this is going no where with you. I thank you for your comments, but they are not helping me at this point with your assumptions of me i know who i am and what i do and thats all that matters. I dont need to explain anything more to you.

 

[candi123]

Something about your life made you admittedly unable to care for your children so you turned them over to your parents. Experience tells me that there are a number of possibilities and these usually include lack of employment or stable housing. I have been at this game for a very long time, and have dealt with a great many situations similar to this so I have a good deal of experience to draw from. Yes, it is inference and assumption, but you leave us with little else as you have provided no details.

So, perhaps you would care to enlighten us how things have changed over that time so that where you were once unable to care for your children you are now ABLE to do so? Now, after four years you have suddenly decided you want to play mom and have your kids back? What has changed? Certainly it had to do with you and your situation, unless you just decided life was easier without the kids. As such, what about your situation has changed for the better? Is it now stable? Are you absolutely capable of providing for your children at least as well as your parents have been?

Have you brought the police to the home to reclaim your children? If not, why not?

And i do have my children now they are happy and cared for thats all that matters. My situation was there abusive father that i needed help getting away from. NOT everyone is a dead beet. I never quit being mom. I have been there every step of the way. Again your using what you have seen over the years to classify me under .Thats everyone issue these days never judge a book by its cover!!!!!!!

 

[BayState]

And i do have my children now they are happy and cared for thats all that matters. My situation was there abusive father that i needed help getting away from. NOT everyone is a dead beet. I never quit being mom. I have been there every step of the way. Again your using what you have seen over the years to classify me under .Thats everyone issue these days never judge a book by its cover!!!!!!!

Based upon your postings, I feel very sorry for your children.

 

[CdwJava]

But being in a relationship has absolutly nothing to do with it ill argue that till the end

I never said it did. But, the status of any relationship IS important. A bad relationship - or a series of them - can often be very bad for the children. Not only can it be an emotional rollercoaster for the children, it also exposes them to issues that can cause them greater harm. Many molestations or assaults occur as a result of mothers carrying on with men who are not the father of the child in the home. It can be a risk.

If you are not in a relationship, great. If you are in a good and healthy one, also great. But, if you are going to have to rebuild a relationship with the children, worrying about your own romantic entanglements is not always a good idea.

All anyone is interested in is the best interests of the children. They may be with you ... they may be with your parents. We do not know. Only you can answer that question based upon your own introspection.

If you were unable to care for the kids four years ago, you have to ask yourself, "What has changed?" Are you now ABLE to do so? or is there some other motive? Out here, we see parents looking for kids they have given up when it is is a financial benefit for housing, services, aid, or some other reason. I hope that is not the case here.