My rights as a parent !!!

Status
Not open for further replies.
C

candi123

New Member
Wow i dont no where to start or details that are needed to answer my question but here goes. I have 2 children ages 6 and 7 that hve lived w there grandma and grandpa (mother and step father of my kids dad ) for 4 yrs now do to me trying to make the right desition for them at the time during this time i have been apart of there lives fully including having them at my residence every weekend or sometimes more untill 4 mths ago me and the grandma had a falling out and i have not been aloud to talk to my kids nor see them since sh is very well known in alb as well as her husband he is best friends w police chief ie thise kind of friend she has made it clear t me not to fight her on thus situation due to i will not win and she will make sure of it over the 4 yr period i have tried to get my kids back sevral times and she always changes my mind somehow some good reasons at time some not there is no court order just me having a hard time at one point in my life and her so called wanting to help im not saying shes not good to them cause she is great but they are my kids and i want to be w them and have them home w me i need to know what my rights are as there mother and if i can just go pick them up at school one day if i want and leave state when i get them that is myplan to leave alb im not from here nor do i have family here im not worried about my kids dad he is a dead beat that only wants everyone else to care for his kids but him when its convenient he wants them Please help as i said there are alot more details involved but dont no whats important or not u can ask and if relavent i will disclose just im at wits end and dont know what to do ????????? Thanx in advance to anyone that responds i really appriciate .
 
Last edited:
candi123 said:
Wow i dont no where to start or details that are needed to answer my question but here goes. I have 2 children ages 6 and 7 that hve lived w there grandma and grandpa (mother and step father of my kids dad ) for 4 yrs now do to me trying to make the right desition for them at the time during this time i have been apart of there lives fully including having them at my residence every weekend or sometimes more untill 4 mths ago me and the grandma had a falling out and i have not been aloud to talk to my kids nor see them since sh is very well known in alb as well as her husband he is best friends w police chief ie thise kind of friend she has made it clear t me not to fight her on thus situation due to i will not win and she will make sure of it over the 4 yr period i have tried to get my kids back sevral times and she always changes my mind somehow some good reasons at time some not there is no court order just me having a hard time at one point in my life and her so called wanting to help im not saying shes not good to them cause she is great but they are my kids and i want to be w them and have them home w me i need to know what my rights are as there mother and if i can just go pick them up at school one day if i want and leave state when i get them that is myplan to leave alb im not from here nor do i have family here im not worried about my kids dad he is a dead beat that only wants everyone else to care for his kids but him when its convenient he wants them Please help as i said there are alot more details involved but dont no whats important or not u can ask and if relavent i will disclose just im at wits end and dont know what to do ????????? Thanx in advance to anyone that responds i really appriciate .
Click to expand...

You are saying that the children's grandparents have had the children for years without any type of court order granting it:confused:
 
You better stop letting her "talk you out of your" kids. Eventually she will terminate your parental rights because she will claim you abandonded your children. You have indeed abandonded them if you are not paying her child support and constantly involved with them. The longer you leave them the more danger you are in.
 
candi123 said:
Wow i dont no where to start or details that are needed to answer my question but here goes. I have 2 children ages 6 and 7 that hve lived w there grandma and grandpa (mother and step father of my kids dad ) for 4 yrs now do to me trying to make the right desition for them at the time during this time i have been apart of there lives fully including having them at my residence every weekend or sometimes more untill 4 mths ago me and the grandma had a falling out and i have not been aloud to talk to my kids nor see them since sh is very well known in alb as well as her husband he is best friends w police chief ie thise kind of friend she has made it clear t me not to fight her on thus situation due to i will not win and she will make sure of it over the 4 yr period i have tried to get my kids back sevral times and she always changes my mind somehow some good reasons at time some not there is no court order just me having a hard time at one point in my life and her so called wanting to help im not saying shes not good to them cause she is great but they are my kids and i want to be w them and have them home w me i need to know what my rights are as there mother and if i can just go pick them up at school one day if i want and leave state when i get them that is myplan to leave alb im not from here nor do i have family here im not worried about my kids dad he is a dead beat that only wants everyone else to care for his kids but him when its convenient he wants them Please help as i said there are alot more details involved but dont no whats important or not u can ask and if relavent i will disclose just im at wits end and dont know what to do ????????? Thanx in advance to anyone that responds i really appriciate .
Click to expand...

Candi...Please edit your post to have punctuation and paragraphs. It is REALLY hard to read as posted. Please remove your name as well.

Thanks
Bay:)
 
Antigone said:
You are saying that the children's grandparents have had the children for years without any type of court order granting it:confused:
Click to expand...
yes that is what i am saying i was at a point where i was going to be homeless and in and out of a abusive relationship w her son which i still am and she offered to take them for a little while tilli could get back on my feet well i have not been on my feet good enouph to her standards she says its to hard for her to give them back at this point or any of the points ive fought the issue w her anything else just ask thanks
 
to jharris352

ok well i dont no if u fully read my statement but i will say again i have not abandoned them i was in a bad situation a few yrs back and she so called offered to help which she has but it has gone to far i was in there life fully school docters sickness food money all the above a parent should do the only difference was during the week they where w her and weekends sometimes more w me about 3 in half almost 4 mths ago we me and there grandma had a falling out over an issue thats not my fault but anyway she wont return my calls nor let me see the kids ive emailed no response went to the home no one answers which i no they gone alot but still i just need to know what my rights are ive documented calling and have copies of all email ive sent and text trying to contact her what can i do
 
Last edited:
candi123 said:
to jharris352

ok well i dont no if u fully read my statement but i will say again i have not abandoned them i was in a bad situation a few yrs back and she so called offered to help which she has but it has gone to far i was in there life fully school docters sickness food money all the above a parent should do the only difference was during the week they where w her and weekends sometimes more w me about 3 in half almost 4 mths ago we me and there grandma had a falling out over an issue thats not my fault but anyway she wont return my calls nor let me see the kids ive emailed no response went to the home no one answers which i no they gone alot but still i just need to know what my rights are ive documented calling and have copies of all email ive sent and text trying to contact her what can i do
Click to expand...

PLEASE use periods in your posts.

Thank you.
 
no court order

Antigone said:
You are saying that the children's grandparents have had the children for years without any type of court order granting it:confused:
Click to expand...

Yes that is what im saying there is no court order. I was just in a bad position a few yrs ago and instead of dragging my kids around w me she offered to take care of them till i got back on my feet well nothing i have done since then is good enouph.
I have wrote a note so she can take them to a dr and so fourth but nothing is through the court only a aggreement between me and her and her not wanting to give them back. Also like i said because of the falling out a few mths ago i havent been aloud to see them or talk to them either now really frustrated .... Any advise !
 
Stop for a minute and read back what you've written.

You were in a "bad spot" and allowed your partners parents to take over the major care of these children....four years ago. Your reasoning is that you were in a bad relationship with their father....and, from your posting, remain in that same situation.

If you were a judge and a "weekend parent" were to face you in court demanding rights to remove their children from the only home that has provided them a stable environment, how would you rule IN THE BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILDREN (which is the MAIN focus of the court in such matters)? In other words, where would the children best be served?

Unless you can prove that you are a mother fit enough to meet these childrens needs (i.e., you have a stable income from money YOU'VE earned, a stable home free from abuse) such a ruling is not likely to go your way.

Gail

P.S. If I've read what you've posted wrong, I apologize. However, your grammar and punctuation is atrocious making it quite difficult to understand what you are trying to say.
 
Candi,

I fully read your post. If you do not enforce your rights you will lose them. Leaving your children with someone for years can be seen as abandonment. Especially since the only proof you might have that you didn't abandon them is the word of the people who want to keep your children.

You need to show up at their front door and demand your children. Take the birth certificate and your ID and call the police if they will not give you the children. If you continue to let them turn you away you will lose them.

Let me back up what Gail is saying. Right NOW, while there is no court fight going, YOU have the parental rights. If your ex-inlaws take you to court and attempt to strip you of permanent custody they are going to claim you have ABANDONED the child. If they do that, you will have to be shown to be unfit to be their parent. You don't have to provide a better living environment than the inlaws but you have to show an ADEQUATE living environment.

You have a right to raise your children. They cannot take your children just because they have more money and can give them a better life. That is not what best interest of the children means; however, they can take them if the inlaws can show that you can't provide for their basic needs or you have, for a year or more, abandoned the children.

You need to get those children back if you have the means to keep them up.
 
Last edited:
to jharris352
Thank You that is the info that i needed to know not critisism for left out details which i said if needed to ask or puncuation and grammer which everyone seems to be more worried about than acually answering the question but ya thats what i needed to know and ya up untill 4 mths ago when she has avoided me i have been apart of every part of my childrens life and yes her reasning is that they have more money the bigger home and so forth she puts them both in private school something i disagreed w and told her i cant afford on my own so i not saying she a bad person i just want my babies back w me i shouldnt be penalized for tryin to do the right thing at the time .
p.s. i do have proof ive filed them on my tax return every year they have medicaid under my household a scholorship through there private school under my name for low income families does any of this help me.
 
Last edited:
Any hard proof that you have that you have been actively involved in their lives will be good for you. The law does not say that a child will go to someone just because they can provide a "better" environment for them. You have a right to custody as long as you can provide for the child. Your ex- would have more of a claim on the children if you didn't have proof of abuse (assuming you do).

All of that having been said, there is a lot to say for having the money to fight a custody battle. If they file suit against you and you cannot fight them then you are going to have a hard time in court. Your first step is to demand your children back in no uncertain terms. Go get your children.

As for your writing and the various comments: Don't worry about the grammar police. Everyone did not have the good fortune to have a good education and to learn how to write. That doesn't make you a bad parent. My there are members of my family who can't string words together in a sentence because they have simply never had formal education. They can farm, hunt, shoot, keep their kids, do figures, and are very good upstanding people with children who are educated. Do what you can, be who you are, and you will be fine. It would be easier if your writing was better, but I got your point and that's all that counts.

Good luck with your children.
 
im still looking for some answers i hope there are more responses than the one i got that was acually worth any thing looking forward to hearing from u thanx in advance
 
Candi, that is the answer. What else are you looking for? Its not like there are 10 good answers to chose from.
 
to jharris352

Yes i understand that, but what about me wanting to leave state w them when i go for them, Is that going to be a problem ?
 
Absent a court order to the contrary, or some reasonable belief that the children will be in danger, you can certainly leave the state with your children.

However, what BETTER situation awaits you out of state? If you do not have a home now (and if you are just going to leave the state, I assume you have no permanent or semi-permanent accommodation), what makes you think you will have a home elsewhere?
 
It sounds like the kids are best off with their grandparents until you get yourself established somewhere. if you take them out of state you are getting into a situation where you are not able to care for them and may end up losing them for good.
Why not go ahead and move where you want to go, establish employment and a steady residence, and at the same time work with the court and obtain a custody order that compels your mother to return the children to you.
 
And, of course, the FATHER of the children might object to them being taken out of state. Depending on the laws of your state, you may have a problem if you take them away where the father cannot have visitation and do so without consent or a court order.

Your first step might be to actually get custody of them.
 
CdwJava said:
Absent a court order to the contrary, or some reasonable belief that the children will be in danger, you can certainly leave the state with your children.

However, what BETTER situation awaits you out of state? If you do not have a home now (and if you are just going to leave the state, I assume you have no permanent or semi-permanent accommodation), what makes you think you will have a home elsewhere?
Click to expand...
Well for starters peaple dont get paid to assume. I have everything i need rather it be here or to where i am planning on going. Im not that immature to pull my children out of a stable enviroment just to put them in a uncomfortable situation. I thank you for your response. But please dont assume it really can offend peaple just ask it only takes a minute...
 
candi123 said:
Well for starters peaple dont get paid to assume. I have everything i need rather it be here or to where i am planning on going. Im not that immature to pull my children out of a stable enviroment just to put them in a uncomfortable situation. I thank you for your response. But please dont assume it really can offend peaple just ask it only takes a minute...
Click to expand...
My response was based upon the limited facts you provided.

You have a job? A home? A stable relationship? Maybe no relationship (which might be best)?
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Share this page

Get a free case review from a lawyer
Back
Top