jacksgal
New Member
A quick scan does not show OP saying therpaist said multiple times! I think that came up from some of us that there could have been multiple times or even other victims
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Shoplifting, Larceny, Robbery, Theft Help
- Thread Starter nana55
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raskalnikov
New Member
and again. . . as happens in so many posts here. .. the person who should be asking for help or advice for themselves is not. . . the whole story isn't given, etc.
so. . . who knows? Your son should be on these boards posting.
so. . . who knows? Your son should be on these boards posting.
jacksgal
New Member
Which the Police can validate by talking to victim. To be fair the way it was told to therapist may have sounded like force! It may also have been multiple times. Keep in mind the son may not want to tell Mom the whole truth and tried to minimize things to her
raskalnikov - you think the therapist was lying about multiple encounters, yet you also think the son did not give the whole story to his mom, which included the number encounters. Sounds both ends of your point are having a spacial conflict here.
I will agree that the son should be the one telling the story. We still haven't found out his age. We are assuming that he's right at 18 or so (at least when it happened) and if that's the case I find it very hard to believe that he's almost suicideal for tapping a 13 year old. 17 is a guy's sexual peak. So he would still be in that range. If he is older, then I can see his consience getting the better of him, but not to the point of suicide.
I will agree that the son should be the one telling the story. We still haven't found out his age. We are assuming that he's right at 18 or so (at least when it happened) and if that's the case I find it very hard to believe that he's almost suicideal for tapping a 13 year old. 17 is a guy's sexual peak. So he would still be in that range. If he is older, then I can see his consience getting the better of him, but not to the point of suicide.
He did tell the therapist b/c he felt guilty about doing it. it happened only once. He was not married at the time. The girl lived n the same household as him. He regrets this every day and is very remorseful. However dys has totally blown this way uot of proportion and making accusaitons which are not true. where is innocent until proven guilty. can they make false accusations without proof? Oh by the way the girl bragged about this to her friend. She has had sex with other boys as well. Is this something they can bring up in court? Can they make her testify to the validity of her statement?
CdwJava
Moderator
If the state intends to make its case, they will almost certainly have her testify. However, bringing up her current sexual activity may not be permitted as it is likely not relevant. Even if she was sexually active, he still should not have had sex with her. And, if it comes out that her activity started with his actions, that will just damn him further in the eyes of a jury.
It is not a great leap of logic to conclude that a man who is attracted to a 13 year old girl might be a threat even to younger girls. Hence the reason youth services is concerned. It only makes sense to be.
He needs to confide in his attorney and not in you. YOU can be called to court to testify against him ... so, tell him to confine his comments about that night to his attorney.
- Carl
It is not a great leap of logic to conclude that a man who is attracted to a 13 year old girl might be a threat even to younger girls. Hence the reason youth services is concerned. It only makes sense to be.
He needs to confide in his attorney and not in you. YOU can be called to court to testify against him ... so, tell him to confine his comments about that night to his attorney.
- Carl
it happened only once. he felt guilty about it and told a therpist what he did. he was not thinking at the time. It was not forced but concensual. She wanted to know what sex was like and threw herself at him. Instead of saying no like he was supposed to, he succumbed. A bad judgement call. She bragged about to a friend. Now his life can be ruined for the rest of his life for something so stupid. can anyone help with this truly? This is my son. I lost my daughter last year and am trying to be supportive. I do not condone what he did but cannot turn him away either. Advice please, no labeling. He is not a pedophile.
jacksgal
New Member
No he told you it only happened once. That might be true but we do not know that! It was not consenual because she was not age of consent. Throwong herself at him means nothing. He needs a Lawyer not Mommy patting him on the head saying it going to be. Its not going to be ok! In the yes of many and perhaps the law he is a pedophile.
CdwJava
Moderator
Then it was still unlawful sexual intercourse (sometimes called statutory rape ... it was just not FORCED rape). He could also be charged with an offense that covers a person who is in a position of responsibility over a child which in most states is a heck of an additional heavy hammer.
Yep. A big felony ta boot.
His attorney MIGHT be able to minimize the damage. If there is no magical means of making it go away, then he may have to seek a plea deal to a lesser offense if one is offered.
Since pedophilia is a clinical definition, the court will not likely concern itself with that label. However, if convicted, he WILL be a child molester or a child rapist (or whatever term your state places on people convicted of unlawful sexual conduct with a minor child of age 13).
He needs to speak with his attorney and ONLY his attorney.
- Carl
Until we know the state that the crime took place in we can't really help you at all. Different states have differing laws regarding this crime.
So, for the final time...WHAT STATE DID THIS OCCUR IN?
Hideoutcabins
New Member
Ok,,,,My JD is 32 years old. However, unless the rules have changed completely, I don't understand how we can provide a responsible response without disclosure of the age and state of offense.
CdwJava
Moderator
You're right. Until we know a state, all this involves is guess work. As for age, we know the victim was 13 years old at the time, is likely about 16 now, and I strongly suspect the perpetrator is much older as he was dating the victim's mom (so I would say he was a minimum of 31 or so at the time).
- Carl
- Carl
OK, guys, let's all get back to the basics here. This one has strayed all ove the road.
Nana - please tell us how old your son was at the time this happened. Also what state did this happen in.
Also, Nana, I know you want to be supportive of your son, and that's fine. However, your son did this once, it is not out of the realm of possibility that he could do it again. As stated before, it's probably best that you don't ask anymore detail than you already have. You also need to come to grips with the fact that he could have done this more, but does not want to tell you. I'm not saying that he has, but you need to remember that what he did was wrong and illegal. It doesn't matter if he was a good boy, etc, this has happened. You need to come to terms with the fact that he's in VERY serious trouble here, and as part of trying to deal with the problem, you need to also keep your mind open. Let me put it to you this way. If the 13 year old herself had told you this happened, without you hearing it from him, would you have believed her? Or would you have said he would never do anything like that?
Another question (just to clarify) did he start the therapy and suicidal thoughts right after it happened, or after he got confronted by the police?
As for the girls current sexual activity, other than what was said about being damaging to him, it wouldn't matter. If she's sleeping with guys her own age, then that is something that would be normal teenage activity. Teens do have sex.
The bottom line is he needs a damn good lawyer if he's going to get past this one, and given what you have told us, he probably doesn't have a good chance of beating this.
Nana - please tell us how old your son was at the time this happened. Also what state did this happen in.
Also, Nana, I know you want to be supportive of your son, and that's fine. However, your son did this once, it is not out of the realm of possibility that he could do it again. As stated before, it's probably best that you don't ask anymore detail than you already have. You also need to come to grips with the fact that he could have done this more, but does not want to tell you. I'm not saying that he has, but you need to remember that what he did was wrong and illegal. It doesn't matter if he was a good boy, etc, this has happened. You need to come to terms with the fact that he's in VERY serious trouble here, and as part of trying to deal with the problem, you need to also keep your mind open. Let me put it to you this way. If the 13 year old herself had told you this happened, without you hearing it from him, would you have believed her? Or would you have said he would never do anything like that?
Another question (just to clarify) did he start the therapy and suicidal thoughts right after it happened, or after he got confronted by the police?
As for the girls current sexual activity, other than what was said about being damaging to him, it wouldn't matter. If she's sleeping with guys her own age, then that is something that would be normal teenage activity. Teens do have sex.
The bottom line is he needs a damn good lawyer if he's going to get past this one, and given what you have told us, he probably doesn't have a good chance of beating this.
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