Ex-Wife Filed Motion to Modify Parenting Time

[klynnchris11]

Hello All. My ex and I have 2 daughters 5 & 6. She has full Physical custody all year, Legal during school year, and I have Full Legal in Summer (weird I know). Our divorce has been final for goin on 2 years now, and she has made my life a living hell. I divorced her, not my children, and she tries her best to limit the allotted time I have been given. It is amazing to me that she was awarded custody (history of mental issues), but that is a whole other story. My parenting time is T and TH from after school (or 5 p.m.) till 730 p.m., and every other weekend. In the past few months I have been picking the children up directly from school 355. This is 1. It gives me an extra hour and 5 minutes to spend with my girls, as well as 2. stay abreast of what is going on with school work etc. They had been instructed by their mother previously to not take their backpacks to my house. She also instructed the neighbors when watching them to not "allow" me to see them. In February of this year I got engaged to my gf, and moved in with her and her son at her home which I am leasing with intent to buy. The home is only 7 miles further from where are previous home was. Much bigger, huge yard, horses...etc. My ex mind you is on bf #3 since the divorce, and also whohas cohabilted with them all as well. New BF has officially moved in. He is also only 22 and she is 30. Neither of them work, she receives state aid and $700 p/mth child support. It was $1000 but it was finally lessend after having to take her back to F.O.C. because she was receiving an extra $300 a/mth as a daycare supplement. Both girls were and are in school FT...And once again she does not work. My fiance found out that her new BF was just arraigned, and convicted of a DUI. He has been the primary driver when picking the children up mind you. There was also a provision put in the divorce decree that stated that no alcohol shall be consumed by either parents 24hrs. prior to or during parenting time. I know she has not followed this rule, although it was her who had it put in place. He was arrested on a weekend that would have been her weekend as well. I have requested arrest record via FOIA, but was denied. The new BF also up until 2 weeks ago when he legally changed his address to hers, shared the same address as his father who is a Registered Sex Offender, and has been since 1986. He has had 5 convictions as recently as 2006.

On the day of the bf's plea, I went to see what it was exactly he was charged with, because up until that point we new he had been arrested, but wasn't aware of what (concerned for my kids). My ex walked in and her jaw dropped. I sat and listened and swung by F.O.C. to grab a form for a change of custody on teh way home. She must have done the same, because I was served by her yesterday that she is looking at modifying my parenting time. She is saying that the schedule of me picking up the children directly from school is detrimental to their well being. Also recomended that I take counseling, because according to her I still have issues with her "moving on" and thats whay I showed up at court. I have a great support structure with my fiance. When we have the children we are a family unit. All of us. My daughters do not receive that while in their mothers care. I hear about how mom doesn't pay any attention to them cause she is always kissing her new bf..etc.

She is also into holistic meds and refuses standard medical care for our children (innoculations etc...) She used some "oil" recently on our youngest to rid her of a cough and ended up causing severe chemical burns to her forhead.

What are my actions of recourse. If I file my motion will it look like a tit for tat? Besides what she brought up in the motion, there are numerous other factors I want to be looked at. SO should I file one as well stating what I want to happen? I'm so confused. I've been beat down by the system before, but I refuse to let her try to weasel me out of the picture. Any help, suggestiuons etc..woyld be greatly appreciated.

Thank you..

 

[army judge]

Don't do anything out of anger or while you are upset.
Take a deep breath and think this through carefully.
Sleep on it, and then make a decision.
Stop worrying about what she does.
You do your best to be a great father.
It is what it is.
You can't change it, unless you try for full custody.
I doubt you could get it anyway, based on what you said.
But, why deprive the children of contact with their mother?
Don't do as she does, do as you do.
Do what is best for the kids.
Judges know a lie when they hear it.

Don't fight evil with evil, just keep on doing what is right.
The money you could spend on lawyers, save that for the college education of your children.
It is your decision, and your decision alone.
They are your children and their mother's.
Do what is best for them.
It may hurt you, but you'll get over it.

 

[klynnchris11]

So I shoudl sit back, let a drunk drive my children around and bring them around a convicted sex offender, and be ok and just get over it? My ex views me as a paycheck, she views the children as pawns. She has diagnosed Borderline and Narcistic Personality Disorders. She crushes up pills and puts them in my daughters socks. And the court thinks that because she birthed them that she has more "rights" to them. I want to have my daughters in my life. I want to play an active role. I would not rip them from the clutches of their mother, however someone needs to step in here. How is spending time with their loving caring father detrimental? If she would say, "you know what, I need your $700 a month because I don't have a job, but I want you to be an equal with me in raising our children", I would have no qualms paying her that money every month. But she will never see the importance in that. She is too self absorbed and selfish to see taht she is hurting are daughters.

 

[army judge]

So I shoudl sit back, let a drunk drive my children around and bring them around a convicted sex offender, and be ok and just get over it? My ex views me as a paycheck, she views the children as pawns. She has diagnosed Borderline and Narcistic Personality Disorders. She crushes up pills and puts them in my daughters socks. And the court thinks that because she birthed them that she has more "rights" to them. I want to have my daughters in my life. I want to play an active role. I would not rip them from the clutches of their mother, however someone needs to step in here. How is spending time with their loving caring father detrimental? If she would say, "you know what, I need your $700 a month because I don't have a job, but I want you to be an equal with me in raising our children", I would have no qualms paying her that money every month. But she will never see the importance in that. She is too self absorbed and selfish to see taht she is hurting are daughters.

You asked for a legal opinion.
I gave you one.
What you decide is of no moment or import to me.
Unleash the fury of a lawsuit.
Go full throttle for full custody.
If she's that evil she shouldn't have custody of a rat, let alone children!

 

[Duranie]

Who is the sex offender here the boyfriend or his father? The sad truth is courts are reluctant to remove custody from a mother unless she is abusing or neglecting them. You need to talk to an attorney to see your chances of securing custody. Also the BF having a DUI is not related at all unless you know for a fact he had the kids in the car but it doesnt appear he did.

What is bothersome is all her boyfriends that move in with her. I've said this before and I'll say it again. There are HEAVY studies that prove a childs risk of abuse goes up by at least 8 times when mom moves in an unrelated male. The fact she is on her 3rd guy is troublesome but honeslty sadly unless he harms the girls there may not be much you can do about it. You can argue she is totally unstable and continues to move different men in and see what your attorney says about that.

Moms needs to get a clue and a reality check here. How nice that your child support support both their lazy butts.

 

[army judge]

Men and women need to wise up and STOP indiscriminate BREEDING.

People need to control their lascivious and voracious appetites to sleep with anything they meet.

This is the 21st century people.

You don't have to abort babies.

There are many, many ways to prevent conception!

Then there wouldn't be millions of children being forced to grow up under worse conditions than chickens crowded into chicken coops, without the benefit and advantage of a father and a mother!

 

[klynnchris11]

Men and women need to wise up and STOP indiscriminate BREEDING.

People need to control their lascivious and voracious appetites to sleep with anything they meet.

This is the 21st century people.

You don't have to abort babies.

There are many, many ways to prevent conception!

Then there wouldn't be millions of children being forced to grow up under worse conditions than chickens crowded into chicken coops, without the benefit and advantage of a father and a mother!

Indiscriminate breeding? I was a married loving caring husband, who fell in love with a person who ended up being a total whack job and was looking for a meal ticket. The only thing I have been guilty of is being naive, and trying to find the good in someone. It wasn't till our divorce taht I found out she had been institutionalized and tried comitting suicide 3 times. I'm the only source of STABILITY in my childs' lives. My ex is teaching my children that it's ok to rely on someone else entirely for everything, she's teaching them it's ok to be promiscuos and that they rate second in her list of priorities. I'M A DAMN GOOD FATHER! AND IT IS MY RIGHT AND DUTY TO MAKE SURE THAT MY DAUGHTERS GROW UP IN THE BEST ENVIRONMENT POSSIBLE. I NEVER STOPPED BEING THEIR DAD, NOR WILL I EVER STOP THE FIGHT TO MAKE SURE THEY ARE WHERE THEY NEED TO BE.

 

[MorgansDaddy]

I think Army was speaking very generally and not specific to you. As far as your problem goes, I am pretty sure you can file a response to the motion so everything is handled together and not file a new petition. The advice to seek help from a lawyer is good advice if you feel justice will not be served here and her motion is denied, or if you want to go for custody. Full will not happen though I am almost certain. I don't think it is unreasonable to try to get joint legal AND joint physical however. If you win joint custody, news to the mother and her boy toy, child support normally isn't paid when parents share joint physical custody. Maybe that will give them reason to get a job and stop living off you and the state.

 

[army judge]

Choose wisely people, choose wisely.

All that glitters is not gold.

 

[irish223]

I think Army was speaking very generally and not specific to you. As far as your problem goes, I am pretty sure you can file a response to the motion so everything is handled together and not file a new petition. The advice to seek help from a lawyer is good advice if you feel justice will not be served here and her motion is denied, or if you want to go for custody. Full will not happen though I am almost certain. I don't think it is unreasonable to try to get joint legal AND joint physical however. If you win joint custody, news to the mother and her boy toy, child support normally isn't paid when parents share joint physical custody. Maybe that will give them reason to get a job and stop living off you and the state.

The bolded part isn't quite true. While the amount of parenting time will affect the amount of child support paid in Michigan, it will not eliminate child support if the parents' respective incomes are very different, especially if one parent is receiving state aid.

 

[MorgansDaddy]

Yes, true Irish. I was speaking as if time was spent equally with each parent. Of course he said he is fine paying the full amount either way which is respectable. I agree with army though when he says chose wisely because custody battles can be ugly, hence hard on the children.

 

[BayState]

Yes, true Irish. I was speaking as if time was spent equally with each parent. Of course he said he is fine paying the full amount either way which is respectable. I agree with army though when he says chose wisely because custody battles can be ugly, hence hard on the children.

No..It is not true. A NCP can get support. 50/50 ca end up with one parent getting support.

IE...If one parent makes 300,000.00 per year and the other parent makes 60,000.00 the more affluent parent will likely pay support.