Can the kids be taken out of state?

[audrey180]

I'm not familiar with family law, so I need some advice.

My friend is trying to leave the situation she's in (lives with her husband and in-law's and they're verbally and emotionally abusive). She has two children, one being from her husband and the other from a previous relationship. She wants to come stay with me for a while, but I live on the West Coast. Her husband has threatened to charge her with kidnapping if she leaves with the children.

So, my question is whether her leaving the state with her children is considered kidnapping. Obviously, he has no legal rights over the child that is not his, but she's worried her husband and in-laws will jump on the bandwagon to try and get her kids taken away, even though she's an awesome mom and has no criminal past or anything shady going on in her life. Anyone know what the laws are for this?

 

[BayState]

I'm not familiar with family law, so I need some advice.

My friend is trying to leave the situation she's in (lives with her husband and in-law's and they're verbally and emotionally abusive). She has two children, one being from her husband and the other from a previous relationship. She wants to come stay with me for a while, but I live on the West Coast. Her husband has threatened to charge her with kidnapping if she leaves with the children.

So, my question is whether her leaving the state with her children is considered kidnapping. Obviously, he has no legal rights over the child that is not his, but she's worried her husband and in-laws will jump on the bandwagon to try and get her kids taken away, even though she's an awesome mom and has no criminal past or anything shady going on in her life. Anyone know what the laws are for this?

It wouldn't be "kidnapping".

BUT!!!

If she moves the child out of the state without a court order or Dad's WRITTEN permission, Dad can file for the return of his child to the home state.

Mom needs to deal with the legalities BEFORE moving or risk losing Primary Custody.

Also..IF she is allowed per a court order to move she will likely be responsible for the cost of ALL transportation for child to visit with dad.

 

[audrey180]

I had heard that if the couple are still married and living together (not currently separated), that she doesn't need permission because marriage implies permission. Not sure if that's a valid arguement. Anything on the books about exceptions of leaving due to abuse?

What about if she just up and moves out, but stays in the same state, maybe even the same city? Does he have any legal grounds to come take his child?

 

[irish223]

I had heard that if the couple are still married and living together (not currently separated), that she doesn't need permission because marriage implies permission. Not sure if that's a valid arguement.

If she moves the child out of the state without a court order or Dad's WRITTEN permission, Dad can file for the return of his child to the home state.

Mom needs to deal with the legalities BEFORE moving or risk losing Primary Custody.

Anything on the books about exceptions of leaving due to abuse?

Are there police reports documenting the abuse? How will she prove abuse?

What about if she just up and moves out, but stays in the same state, maybe even the same city? Does he have any legal grounds to come take his child?

Married parents have equal rights to their children until a court says otherwise. So, yes, he does.

 

[Duranie]

Married parents have equal rights until a court says otherwise. If she leaves the state it would not be kidnapping BUT he can file for custody while his state still has jurisdiction and ask that the child be returned. That will put mom at a disadvantage. As far as moving out of the house and close by, she has every right too. There still is nothing preventing dad from filing for divorce and custody. Also if there is no physical abuse nor proof of it, emotional and verbal abuse is nogt enough to take the child out of state without consequences.

If the house is an unhealthy environment for her, then she needs to move out. If she has friends or family close by then by all means do it. Mom should file for divorce and custody though before dad does. Unless mom has the funds for an expensive legal battle, she should try and work out something with dad.

 

[army judge]

If anyone feels endangered or threatened by anyone else, they should dial "911" and seek the assistance and protection of the police.

Mom should speak with an attorney in her immediate area about her parental rights. When one parent thumps or verbally abuses the other, that conduct often jeopardizes their parental rights, should the allegations be subsequently proven. Mom should secure witnesses and documentation to support her allegations.


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[audrey180]

I understand what all of you are saying. It's incredibly hard to prove verbal and emotional abuse. She doesn't have any other family or friends in the area, just me... thousands of miles away. She's only been living in VA for a few months, but use to live on the West Coast with me.

She knows that her husband will file for a divorce soon (he has asked her to leave, but demands she leave the children), and she wants to be "home", which is my state. Oh, and to make matters worse, she's pregnant. I'm trying to get her to understand that she needs to file first, but she wants to come here first and then file; something I'm not sure is even possible with the divorce laws in WA.

 

[army judge]

I understand what all of you are saying. It's incredibly hard to prove verbal and emotional abuse. She doesn't have any other family or friends in the area, just me... thousands of miles away. She's only been living in VA for a few months, but use to live on the West Coast with me.

She knows that her husband will file for a divorce soon (he has asked her to leave, but demands she leave the children), and she wants to be "home", which is my state. Oh, and to make matters worse, she's pregnant. I'm trying to get her to understand that she needs to file first, but she wants to come here first and then file; something I'm not sure is even possible with the divorce laws in WA.

If she leaves her home and her children, that could be considered abandonment. That is never wise, unless domestic violence is involved.


It also makes it easier for the party that remains in the marital home to get custody of the children and obtain a better position in the divorce.

She will have a very tough time filing for divorce in another state. She will also have a tough time ever getting custody, if the kids are in another state.

She needs to speak with an attorney before she does anything. She's about to make a very dumb move.


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[MorgansDaddy]

Virginia will have jurisdiction so she couldn't file in Washington. If she wants to leave and he refuses to let the kids go, she can call the police. They will come and tell her that without a court order, they can not make him let them go, which would obviously be proof she didn't abandon them if she has no choice but to move out without them(except the child that isn't his of course). She will have to immediately file for some sort of custody order in Virginia. The divorce will have to wait for one year. In Virginia, you have to be legally separated for six months without common children involved, and one year if there are common children. She really needs to get her ducks in a row before leaving Virginia