Abandonment?

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J_Lang1987 said:
how do you know i have a child?
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"Cause you said you did. If you want to play games go elsewhere...we really don't have the inclination to deal with this crap.
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My ex girlfriend has custody of my 2 year old son. She recently moved out of Iowa and Into Illinois. She left my son in the care of her grandmother. She has been gone more than six months and shows no interest or intention of coming back, I cannot prove that she has no contact. She still recieves child support, And to the best of my knowledge hasnt used any of the support money for him. I have no interest in pursuing custody for lack of means. Does this qualify as abandonment? What can i do legally?
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ETA: Please don't say it's because you can't have a child, because you already have one.[/QUOTE]


I thought he meant one besides my son
 
never mind, i thought he meant something else but apparently not...i chose not to pursue custody because i cannot have a child for personal reasons.
 
J_Lang1987 said:
ETA: Please don't say it's because you can't have a child, because you already have one.
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I thought he meant one besides my son[/QUOTE]

Last time and if you do not answer you will receive no help from me...and perhaps others here.

What is it you wish to achieve here??
 
and yes you do judge....instead of answering a simple question your telling me things that i am doing wrong and judging me because i dont want to seek custody, and basically saying what a bad parent i am, its my business and my business only WHY i dont want to get custody ...now...go back to my first post and thats what im doing here, i want to know what i can do.
 
J_Lang1987 said:
yeah thats really mature
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Uh huh... Well, you've been given accurate legal advice, you've been advised of your options, you've been asked why you can't pursue custody and your answer was respected, and you were asked what you hope to achieve which you never did answer.

That wasn't an immature response. That was a logical conclusion based on your statements in this thread.
 
maybe i was trying to "get" her....yes i do think that she should have to pay for just dumping my child off with her grandmother...and still recieving my child support, dont say that if you were in my situation you wouldnt try and do the same thing
 
J_Lang1987 said:
and yes you do judge....instead of answering a simple question your telling me things that i am doing wrong and judging me because i dont want to seek custody, and basically saying what a bad parent i am, its my business and my business only WHY i dont want to get custody ...now...go back to my first post and thats what im doing here, i want to know what i can do.
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WHOA! Nobody said any of that. You were given your LEGAL options. No one said anything about your parenting, and no one bashed you. All in all, you've been treated very gently.

So, to answer your original question, there is nothing that you can do if you don't want to modify custody.
 
J_Lang1987 said:
maybe i was trying to "get" her....yes i do think that she should have to pay for just dumping my child off with her grandmother...and still recieving my child support, dont say that if you were in my situation you wouldnt try and do the same thing
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She placed HER child with a competent adult. If you object you have been advised how to start the process. But you don't want custody. You don't want to make sure that the support is actually going to your child. You want to hurt the mother.

Come back when you grow up enough to actually care more about helping/loving your child than you do hurting/hating you ex.*

This OP is a prime example of why immature CHILDREN should not breed.


*Thank you OhioGAL for the quote.
 
You know...I really hate people that are ALL for the mother...no matter what they do...their perfect, they do no wrong. And just because I choose not to see HER son for PERSONAL reasons does NOT give you the right to call me and "immature child"....I think i pay child support which is supporting him AND her since shes too lazy to get a job...Im thinking that if anyone is childish here its my ex. Also i never said that I didnt want to support HER son...I said I think it is BS that she is getting the support to spend on her and her boyfriend....I am NOT court ordered to pay child support to her for her and her boyfriend to live off of...it is suppose to go to the child....who is now living in california with his mother and some random guy she met off the internet...so who's the bad parent now?
 
J_Lang1987 said:
You know...I really hate people that are ALL for the mother...no matter what they do...their perfect, they do no wrong.
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I don't believe anyone here is pro Mom or pro Dad - we tend to be on Team Kid, actually.


And just because I choose not to see HER son for PERSONAL reasons does NOT give you the right to call me and "immature child"....I think i pay child support which is supporting him AND her since shes too lazy to get a job...
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Ah. See here's the thing - she's perfectly entitled to spend it on herself and her boyfriend, so long as those kids are housed, fed and clothed. If she wants to spend it on mani/pedis, that's up to her.

(and it'd be the same in reverse - if the father has prime custody, he can spend it doing up his 63 Stingray 'Vette if he so chooses).


Im thinking that if anyone is childish here its my ex. Also i never said that I didnt want to support HER son...I said I think it is BS that she is getting the support to spend on her and her boyfriend....I am NOT court ordered to pay child support to her for her and her boyfriend to live off of...it is suppose to go to the child....who is now living in california with his mother and some random guy she met off the internet...so who's the bad parent now?
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None of this makes her a bad parent.

You are supporting your children - you're contributing (reimbursing, if you will) to their welfare. What Mom does with your child support is frankly none of your business.


CS is NEVER intended to go to the child.
 
J_Lang1987 said:
You know...I really hate people that are ALL for the mother...no matter what they do...their perfect, they do no wrong. And just because I choose not to see HER son for PERSONAL reasons does NOT give you the right to call me and "immature child"....I think i pay child support which is supporting him AND her since shes too lazy to get a job...Im thinking that if anyone is childish here its my ex. Also i never said that I didnt want to support HER son...I said I think it is BS that she is getting the support to spend on her and her boyfriend....I am NOT court ordered to pay child support to her for her and her boyfriend to live off of...it is suppose to go to the child....who is now living in california with his mother and some random guy she met off the internet...so who's the bad parent now?
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Yup. You are an immature child. Come back when you grow up.
 
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