Abandonment?

[JLang1987]

My ex girlfriend has custody of my 2 year old son. She recently moved out of Iowa and Into Illinois. She left my son in the care of her grandmother. She has been gone more than six months and shows no interest or intention of coming back, I cannot prove that she has no contact. She still recieves child support, And to the best of my knowledge hasnt used any of the support money for him. I have no interest in pursuing custody for lack of means. Does this qualify as abandonment? What can i do legally?

 

[JLang1987]

Abandonment Issues?

My ex girlfriend has custody of my 2 year old son. She recently moved out of Iowa and Into Illinois. She left my son in the care of her grandmother. She has been gone more than six months and shows no interest or intention of coming back, I cannot prove that she has no contact. She still recieves child support, And to the best of my knowledge hasnt used any of the support money for him. I have no interest in pursuing custody for lack of means. Does this qualify as abandonment? What can i do legally?

 

[BayState]

My ex girlfriend has custody of my 2 year old son. She recently moved out of Iowa and Into Illinois. She left my son in the care of her grandmother. She has been gone more than six months and shows no interest or intention of coming back, I cannot prove that she has no contact. She still recieves child support, And to the best of my knowledge hasnt used any of the support money for him. I have no interest in pursuing custody for lack of means. Does this qualify as abandonment? What can i do legally?

When you say "lack of means" ...Do you mean that you don't have the $$ to go to court to get formal custody or you are not in a position to go and get your child from grandma?

 

[JLang1987]

Im not in the position to have a child

 

[BayState]

Im not in the position to have a child

You need to modify the child support so that it goes t the grandparent.

 

[JLang1987]

They wont do it unless she requests it and she hasnt

 

[JLang1987]

But does it qualify as abandonment?

 

[JLang1987]

and what happens with the custody arrangement? does she still legally have custody even though she just dumped him at her grandmothers because she doesnt want the obligation of having a child and is only using him for the child support i have to pay to HER not my son

 

[irish223]

and what happens with the custody arrangement? does she still legally have custody even though she just dumped him at her grandmothers because she doesnt want the obligation of having a child and is only using him for the child support i have to pay to HER not my son

She has legal custody until someone petitions the court to change it. Apparently you aren't interested in doing that, nor is the grandmother.

This also doesn't seem to be abandonment. Even if it was, what would you want to do about that?

 

[JLang1987]

I dont know, thats why i was seeing what all my legal options are. I dont think she should be getting the child support since she doesnt have him and the grandmother hasnt requested a change so i dont know what to do....

 

[Duranie]

You still have to support the child. You can contact the grandmother and let her know mom is receiving the support. Maybe grandma does not know this.

 

[JLang1987]

She knows that her grandaughter is gettting the child support, i dont think she cares.

 

[JLang1987]

I know i still have to support him, i just dont think that his mother should be getting my child support when she doesnt even have him and lives one state away

 

[BayState]

I know i still have to support him, i just dont think that his mother should be getting my child support when she doesnt even have him and lives one state away

So file for a modification of support. Or don't. Make sure you save the receipts for the support you pay and you might want to notify child support that your ex has placed the child with a family member...as long as you can prove it.

 

[JLang1987]

I dont have reciepts. They automatically take it out of my paycheck. And i have told them that she left him with her grandmother and moved out of state but they told me that i have to have proof that she has been gone for six months or more with no contact. How do i prove that??? the system is kind of screwed up.I dont get how it is ok for her to just pack up and leave and drop him off with her grandmother without anything happening to her legally....there is no reason she couldnt have taken him with her....she moved to illinois to be with her "fiance" and is taking online college classes.

 

[BayState]

I dont have reciepts. They automatically take it out of my paycheck. And i have told them that she left him with her grandmother and moved out of state but they told me that i have to have proof that she has been gone for six months or more with no contact. How do i prove that??? the system is kind of screwed up.I dont get how it is ok for her to just pack up and leave and drop him off with her grandmother without anything happening to her legally....there is no reason she couldnt have taken him with her....she moved to illinois to be with her "fiance" and is taking online college classes.

So how about this. Go and get your child and file for a change in custody based on mother placing the child with granny/cs to stop and for mom to pay YOU support.

If you think mom is going to face criminal charges or court censure for leaving the child with an able adult...don't hold your breath.

 

[JLang1987]

I cant have a child...thats the problem.

 

[BayState]

I cant have a child...thats the problem.

Then what is it SPECIFICALLY you wish to accomplish?

 

[irish223]

I cant have a child...thats the problem.

Yep, that's the problem. If you don't want custody, and the grandmother doesn't care about the support, then there isn't a thing you can do.

Out of curiosity, why can't you have custody?


ETA: Please don't say it's because you can't have a child, because you already have one.

 

[JLang1987]

how do you know i have a child?