A mom wanting her child back

[hazelmagic76]

When i divorced my second xhusband i was awarded primary custody of my son, but as of 3 years ago i let my x keep my son. Now he is not letting me have him back. Do I still have the right to just go get my son even though he has been living with his father for 3 years? And if so can I just show my divorce papers to the police and obligate my x to give him back to me? Can he stop me from taking him back?

 

[BayState]

When i divorced my second xhusband i was awarded primary custody of my son, but as of 3 years ago i let my x keep my son. Now he is not letting me have him back. Do I still have the right to just go get my son even though he has been living with his father for 3 years? And if so can I just show my divorce papers to the police and obligate my x to give him back to me? Can he stop me from taking him back?

It would be a fairly cruel thing to suddenly uproot your son like that...Your ex has "status quo" on his side. If you were to go and just take the child your ex could and SHOULD file for primary custody based on status quo. He would win.

Have you had contact with the child during the last 3 years? Regular visitation? Have you paid child support to your ex? Do you live in the same area as your ex?

 

[Duranie]

Since your son has been with your ex for so long the chances of you legally getting custody back is slim to none. I suppose you can show up and try to take the child but if you live far away or plan on taking the child out of state, dad can go back to court and get custody and he probably will get it. It is not realistic for you to expect to be able to just pick this child up after 3 years. Have you seen the child at all since then?

 

[hazelmagic76]

the reason I want to bring him back is because he is not letting me have him on summer, he didnt let me have him last summer either. Im tired of him restricting me from my son, i let him stay with my son cause of some problems i was having, but it was suppose to be temporary, he wanted me to leave him with him so was being nice and left him with his father. But he is giving so many problems about having him I cant take it anymore, I havent seened my son since he left. He lives far away from me (Arizona) and Im in Fl. He wont let me bring him to Fl for his summer vacation and I cant afford to take time from work pay for hotels to visit him up there plus his brothers and sisters here want to see him. I just dont know what to do about this. I want to be with my son and he wont let me.

 

[irish223]

the reason I want to bring him back is because he is not letting me have him on summer, he didnt let me have him last summer either. Im tired of him restricting me from my son, i let him stay with my son cause of some problems i was having, but it was suppose to be temporary, he wanted me to leave him with him so was being nice and left him with his father. But he is giving so many problems about having him I cant take it anymore, I havent seened my son since he left. He lives far away from me (Arizona) and Im in Fl. He wont let me bring him to Fl for his summer vacation and I cant afford to take time from work pay for hotels to visit him up there plus his brothers and sisters here want to see him. I just dont know what to do about this. I want to be with my son and he wont let me.

Generally, the police will not enforce custody. That's a civil matter. However, they will allow you to file a report when visitation is denied. The problem is that your son has been living with your ex for 3 years, and apparently you haven't made any previous legal attempts to get him back or see him.

You will have to file for a modification of the custody/visitation order. You will have to get court-ordered visitation of your son so that you can legally enforce the visitation. Also, even that may be very difficult if you haven't seen him in 3 years. Have you kept in contact with your son via phone or email? How old is the child? Is the order out of Florida or Arizona?

 

[irish223]

Okay, I just read your other thread. Please do not start any other threads on this subject. Keep all your questions in this thread.

Since the original order is out of Florida and you still live there, then you should file in Florida if there has been no other legal action involving your son. But again, it will be very difficult for you to prove that you should regain custody of the child. He has been living in AZ for 3 years. You will have to prove that it's in his best interests to make him move back to Florida.

You should retain an attorney if you still plan to fight for custody. You may be able to file for modification on your own, but I think you should have an attorney for that too.

Good Luck

 

[hazelmagic76]

i dont understand, Im the one who still has legal custody of him he hasnt filed for anything yet. Cant i just have him back?

 

[irish223]

i dont understand, Im the one who still has legal custody of him he hasnt filed for anything yet. Cant i just have him back?

This has already been answered by several posters.

Yes, you could just go get him. No, the police will not help if your ex objects. You have a document that says you have custody, but presumably he has documents to show that the child has lived with him for the past three years. If this goes to court, as it probably will if you try to take him, then the father will most likely have custody awarded to him due to the fact that the child has lived with him for three years. Most likely, the judge will rule that it is in the child's best interests to remain with his father.

There has been a HUGE change in circumstance since the original order, and that change is that your son has lived with his father for 3 years. That's enough to change custody.

So, short answer... you can go get him if the father agrees. If he doesn't, then you will have to go to court. When you go to court, the father will probably win custody, but you can get court-ordered visitation which can be enforced. You will then be entitled to see your son, and if the father denies, he will be in contempt.

 

[hazelmagic76]

this place really has not been much help to me, I had to get a consultation with a lawyer and I was told that since he has not filed for custody over my child then I still have the custody, and that I can show my papers to the sherriff office and they will excort me to get my son. Why have I gotten such a runaround here and told that the police dont do anything about these custodys?

 

[irish223]

Well, you're very welcome, and good luck with that.

 

[BayState]

this place really has not been much help to me, I had to get a consultation with a lawyer and I was told that since he has not filed for custody over my child then I still have the custody, and that I can show my papers to the sherriff office and they will excort me to get my son. Why have I gotten such a runaround here and told that the police dont do anything about these custodys?

You either got bad advice or misunderstood what the attorney was telling you. Yes, you could do the above...But a police officer can not and WILL NOT be able to enforce a custody agreement. And I will guarantee you if you try to pull this off and Dad, hopefully, takes this to court...YOU WILL BE SLAMMED by the Judge.

 

[hazelmagic76]

my guess is that he wont have the money to take me to court so I will take my chances.

 

[Theresagail]

Going to court is not that expensive-- just filing fees-- You dont need an attorney to go to court.

 

[superdaddydrew]

I am a single father of 3 that had a similar situation kinda. My ex wife left and took the kids, after a couple months she had sent them home this was during summer. She asked me to keep them for about a month because she got a new boyfriend and her catholic foster mother wouldn't allow them to mess around in her house, so they were looking for job/place.

After another 3 months she still hadn't found a place or a job and it was time for the oldest to go to kindergarden, so I enrolled her. Another 3 months went by and I had grown so attatched and dependant on them being around I didn't want to send them back so I filed for the divorce. After 6 months I was legaly de facto custodian. She claimed I took the kids after a visit then refused to return them.

First thing the judge said was "why didn't you file for custody at that time". So if you are going to do this you will need a very very good reason to have waited three years to get him back. But if he is a poor parent and its obvious, if he has domestic violence history or criminal history that might show danger to kids, then that will show in your favor.

I wish you luck and hope this helped.

 

[hazelmagic76]

I aggreed that he can raise him but he has been keeping me from being with him and thats not fair for him to do that to me, when I had him I never kept my x from seeing him or being with him I gave him all axcess what he is doing to me seems cruel to me when I have never done anything wrong to him. He says he is afraid of that i will take him away then if he so afraid of that then that means either he knows I can take him or he doesnt know he can get custody. Because he has kept me from him is why i want to get my son back, If he was being fair to me I would not have considered taking my child back I would have let him stay with his dad, cause I know he has been with him for this long. I feel like I have no choice but to do something. I just wish somebody would understand that Im not trying to be cruel, he left me with no choice

 

[hazelmagic76]

If going to court is not that expensive then why doI need a lawyer and if I dont need one how to I even go about filing for things, where do i go and what do i ask for?

 

[irish223]

If going to court is not that expensive then why doI need a lawyer and if I dont need one how to I even go about filing for things, where do i go and what do i ask for?

This thread has gone on entirely too long. You were asked questions that you didn't bother to answer, you were given good advice by several members that you failed to consider, and then you were unappreciative of all the help you've been offered.

this place really has not been much help to me, I had to get a consultation with a lawyer and I was told that since he has not filed for custody over my child then I still have the custody, and that I can show my papers to the sherriff office and they will excort me to get my son. Why have I gotten such a runaround here and told that the police dont do anything about these custodys?

Runaround??? When I reread the posts, it seems that EVERYONE has said the same thing!!! You refused to listen!



So, one final time... Your ex can easily file for custody on his own. He has had the child for 3 years. It's almost a given that he will retain custody.

If you want custody again, then you will HAVE TO HAVE a lawyer, but even that doesn't mean that you will get custody again.

If you want to modify the existing order to officially give custody to the father, but retain visitation rights for you, then you may be able to do that on your own.

However, the father can also argue that jurisdiction should move to AZ, especially if you haven't seen the child in a long time.

This is a hot mess, and you really should have a lawyer.

If you can't afford one, then maybe you can come to an agreement with the father about custody and visitation, then file it with the court. He may be agreeable to visitation if he has court-ordered custody.

The FL family court forms and instructions are online. You can find them here:

http://www.flcourts.org/gen_public/family/forms_rules/index.shtml

 

[BayState]

my guess is that he wont have the money to take me to court so I will take my chances.

If he can't pay the filing fees they can be waived. He can file Pro Se and do it all himself. He will win. Period. That you would put your child through this is reprehensible. Really. You WILL be ripped a new one in court.

 

[irish223]

If he can't pay the filing fees they can be waived. He can file Pro Se and do it all himself. He will win. Period. That you would put your child through this is reprehensible. Really. You WILL be ripped a new one in court.

Yep, no doubt!