What are our sons rights?

J

Jacqueline

New Member
Jurisdiction
Georgia
My sons just found out on December 3, 2015 via a facebook post that their father died on November 27, 2015. No attempts were made to notify any of them that their father was even sick. From what I understand he died in a hospice. Their father and I are divorced and he remarried in 2012 I believe. You have to understand that he was in contempt of court due to the fact he refused to abide any of the divorce decree and we were married for 31 years. I know that I will get nothing but one of the degrees was for his soldiers insurance which was payable to our sons to remain payable to our sons. They had to garnish his pay to even get me a small amount of the alimony that was ordered. From what one son has said he owned a home, a jeep and motorcycle that he bought since the divorce. Our divorce was in Illinois which 2 sons live, one son is in Missouri, another in Texas and one on Pennsylvania. He resided in Georgia.
 
Adult parents owe adult children, NOTHING.
The estranged father's estate passes to his next of kin, his wife.
If you believe your sons were stiffed, hire them a lawyer and request the lawyer to see what should have happened to the insurance policy.

In all reality, the deceased disobeyed the divorce decree.
He's dead.
Nothing more can be done to him now by the courts.
The man is dead.
Nevertheless, he's the man you chose to inseminate you several times.
It's over.
 
The boys were not estranged from their father. Yes they are all adults but they spoke on the phone. Mainly around holidays and birthdays as they all live in different areas. All I was doing was enquiring because it makes no sense that they were not informed.
 
Jacqueline said:
The boys were not estranged from their father. Yes they are all adults but they spoke on the phone. Mainly around holidays and birthdays as they all live in different areas. All I was doing was enquiring because it makes no sense that they were not informed.
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It's not unusual for sensibility and legality to be at odds.

Their father may not have wanted his sons to be informed about his demise.

The fact that they all communicated regularly would illustrate the deceased's desire to not inform the sons.

Had he wanted to tell them, or had they wished to know, he would have told them.

It's not unusual for many critically ill people to choose NOT to inform their family and loved ones of their declining health.

My sister passed away on 20 November after a five year battle with breast and liver cancer. She chose to tell only one of her siblings, me, and I was sworn to secrecy a month before she began her spiral into death.

Life can be very complicated for many people.
 
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I can accept him not wanting them to know he was sick. But to NOT inform them that he died? To deny them their final goodbye with their father! Then to post it on facebook a week later where not only his children but his grandchildren who are sitting with their parents have it pop up right in front of them?
 
Jacqueline said:
I can accept him not wanting them to know he was sick. But to NOT inform them that he died? To deny them their final goodbye with their father! Then to post it on facebook a week later where not only his children but his grandchildren who are sitting with their parents have it pop up right in front of them?
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I'm an old Texas hill country lawyer,retired army jag of 30 years.
You require a psychiatrist, psychologist, rabbi, imam, priest, pastor, or social worker.
I'm too dumb and too old to help you, sorry.
I'm grieving the loss of someone I loved, the baby in our family, my youngest sister.
You'll need someone far smarter and much kinder than me, sorry.
 
Some people can be very unnecessarily cruel..and may even take pleasure in it.
I can certainly see your concerns, and this is unfortunate for your boys. Not knowing if he died suddenly or not, people in the process of actively dieing can be out..unconscious for days before they pass. Given the fact that there was open communication between your children and their father, he may not have known they were not informed and was not in a place or position to do anything about it.
In the least you could get a consult with a lawyer to see if your children are still entitled to what was ordered them, or how to go about getting it. Maybe even directly contact whoever is over the soldiers benefits and presenting what you have from the courts.

Folks in these threads need not be so ugly and nasty making attacking and demeaning personal comments at people that came here to seek advice.
 
Plzadvise said:
Some people can be very unnecessarily cruel..and may even take pleasure in it....

Folks in these threads need not be so ugly and nasty making attacking and demeaning personal comments at people that came here to seek advice.
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This is not a emotional support site, nor the place for warm fuzzies (though it is calmer than other sites). Mayhaps you should stop trolling and find another forum that suits your tender sensibilities.
 
If the sons are named and beneficiaries on any policies, that will pass to them by whatever entity holds the policy. It sucks that they were not informed sooner but there is no legal obligation to tell them and it *may* have been their father's wish that it be handled as it was. I don't know him, you, the boys, you wife, or your family dynamic. All we can tell you is that it is legal. As for the other property, 9 times in 10 it will go to the spouse. If he had a will which specified other arrangements, your sons can ask about it, or if probate is opened, check with the court. 11 Steps Required for Settling an Estate Through Probate

If all the children are adults, I would stay out of it. Legally, you are not a party to it and any lawyer involved can not talk to you.
 
Legally I understand I have no part in this. I see no harm in asking questions so I can advise our children.

My legal problems with him are not a part of this and our sons know it and have kept out of it, which has not been easy on any of them.
 
"I can accept him not wanting them to know he was sick. But to NOT inform them that he died? To deny them their final goodbye with their father! Then to post it on facebook a week later where not only his children but his grandchildren who are sitting with their parents have it pop up right in front of them?"

All of that is terrible and very hurtful for your children. But there is nothing you can do to fix that or undo it.
 
Plzadvise said:
Some people can be very unnecessarily cruel..and may even take pleasure in it.
I can certainly see your concerns, and this is unfortunate for your boys. Not knowing if he died suddenly or not, people in the process of actively dieing can be out..unconscious for days before they pass. Given the fact that there was open communication between your children and their father, he may not have known they were not informed and was not in a place or position to do anything about it.
In the least you could get a consult with a lawyer to see if your children are still entitled to what was ordered them, or how to go about getting it. Maybe even directly contact whoever is over the soldiers benefits and presenting what you have from the courts.

Folks in these threads need not be so ugly and nasty making attacking and demeaning personal comments at people that came here to seek advice.
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This is what was posted and how our sons and grandchildren found out
TO ALL OF MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS: It is with the heaviest heart I announce this news. My husband Allen Jones Sr. passed away the morning of black Friday. He went peaceful after the fight of a lifetime. He was a 25 yr. survivor of Leukemia. 8 weeks ago we found out that he was out of remission. Unfortunately when it returned, it came back with a vengeance. He fought like the WARRIOR he was. Never gave up! He always told me that this world is a proving ground...here is where you decide who you want to spend eternity with. I am so very Thankful he came to Christ almost 5 yrs. ago. And I am thankful we had the time together to really know and praise God as He should be. I am truly Blessed to have been given a gift from God to teach me how to love and cherish the important gifts in life. There are no words to describe how much I love this man. He loved me more than life itself and I will carry that in my heart until I see him again. We will hold a Memorial service for him to CELEBRATE his life. It will be held Dec. 12th from 2-4pm at Rincon First Christian Church in Rincon, GA. Allen has asked that those who attend must wear festive, colorful, casual attire. NO FUNERAL BLACK! We are having a good ole BBQ and music. There will be a time for those to come forward and share their stories and relationships they had with Allen. All are welcome and I hope to see you there. I want to take time to Thank everyone of you, who have taken time and prayed and supported Allen and I during this time. I know that you have no idea how much Allen cherished his time with you. He may have been a hard person to approach or seemed to get to know. But Allen has made a huge leap towards Christ and he was the most honest person I knew, and would do anything for anyone. He will be HONORED and MISSED GREATLY! I love and thank all of you, and you are all continually in my daily prayers! With Great Love
 
Amazingly unfortunate that there were several weeks there where his passing was pretty much expected, but not everyone knew. Perhaps this woman can offer the children some reasoning why this happened this way- at least to help with closure. That was a terrible way to find out about their (grand)father's passing.
The children will have to get a lawyer to handle this situation, as one advisor said, there is the matter of probate court as a resource. I hope things work out in their favor.
 
The children are welcome to approach their stepmother and ask why they were not informed sooner. Perhaps, the children are well aware why that is the case. They may or may not get an answer and that answer is not likely to be satisfying no matter what, but they are entitled to ask.
 

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