Unwanted baby with a girl I stayed 3 nights

[Sam2016]

Jurisdiction

Virginia

Hi,
About 7 months ago I was dating somebody from match.com. I found she was not the right person for me so I cut the relationship. Last week she called me and she said that she is pregnant. I was only with her for 3 nights and she gave me the condom. I don't know what will happen next. Could you please advise me? I am really shocked and I don't know what will happen.
Is there anybody who can help me?

 

[army judge]

Hi,
About 7 months ago I was dating somebody from match.com. I found she was not the right person for me so I cut the relationship. Last week she called me and she said that she is pregnant. I was only with her for 3 nights and she gave me the condom. I don't know what will happen next. Could you please advise me? I am really shocked and I don't know what will happen.
Is there anybody who can help me?

If she alleges you to be the father, you simply admit to nothing, then request a paternity test.

If you ever want to use condoms, I suggest you provide your own prophylactics from your own, approved source.

Why?

There are many unscrupulous people who stick pins into condoms to TRAP a "sucker daddy".

Be smart, abstain from random sex.

If you can't restrain your beastly urges, provide your own, protection.

 

[shrinkmaster]

At this point you do nothing. Unless you are legally established as Father via a court order you have no legal obligation to this woman or her offspring. You wait till child is born and either file for paternity test or wait for her to do so

 

[adjusterjack]

Hi,
About 7 months ago I was dating somebody from match.com. I found she was not the right person for me so I cut the relationship. Last week she called me and she said that she is pregnant. I was only with her for 3 nights and she gave me the condom. I don't know what will happen next. Could you please advise me? I am really shocked and I don't know what will happen.
Is there anybody who can help me?

Do you really need to be told to keep your mouth shut and don't give her any money?

 

[ElleMD]

If you had sex, you could be the father. Nothing is 100% effective at preventing pregnancy aside from refraining from sexual activity. Take this as a lesson not to jump in bed with just anyone you meet online. That is just a horrible idea for so many reasons.

Once the baby is born, you can request a paternity test, or she can. If you are the father, expect to financially support the child for a minimum of 18 years.

 

[leslie82]

Hi,
About 7 months ago I was dating somebody from match.com. I found she was not the right person for me so I cut the relationship. Last week she called me and she said that she is pregnant. I was only with her for 3 nights and she gave me the condom. I don't know what will happen next. Could you please advise me? I am really shocked and I don't know what will happen.
Is there anybody who can help me?

Well she can't do anything to you until there is actually a child born. She could have a miscarriage. She could have an abortion. Or she could continue the pregnancy to term.

If she comes back at your when there is a baby and says you're the dad get a paternity test. Then go from there. Nothing to stress about right now.

 

[Sam2016]

If she alleges you to be the father, you simply admit to nothing, then request a paternity test.

If you ever want to use condoms, I suggest you provide your own prophylactics from your own, approved source.

Why?

There are many unscrupulous people who stick pins into condoms to TRAP a "sucker daddy".

Be smart, abstain from random sex.

If you can't restrain your beastly urges, provide your own, protection.

Please read the whole story below.

 

[Sam2016]

Well she can't do anything to you until there is actually a child born. She could have a miscarriage. She could have an abortion. Or she could continue the pregnancy to term.

If she comes back at your when there is a baby and says you're the dad get a paternity test. Then go from there. Nothing to stress about right now.

The whole story is like this:
First of all I was virgin till that time. So, I didn't have any experience. Maybe it is not normal but I am 31 and I tried to keep myself for my love. But, some friends told me you need to have experience, you need to find somebody to spend time, then your wife will be happier, etc.
I was thinking I am dating this person and I told her the truth.
But I feel she used me for her goals. I feel like a victim. Because she called me and she said about her trip to Germany and the guys over there that she slept with them. Then, she told me about the guys here she is touch right now. But she doesn't like them and she wants me to be with her. All in all, after being with this person as the first experience, I prefer to not to be with anybody. Being alone is better than being with wrong people. I made a bad mistake.

Another issue is that she is not in the same state now. She is in IL now and I am in VA.
If she wants to file something, shall I go to Chicago to attend the court? How if I file? She needs to come here?
If I need to pay, shall I pay based on the state I live or her state?
The final question, if after test we find out I am not the father, can I sue her?

Thank you so very much for all your comments.

 

[army judge]

Nothing can be done to determine paternity until the baby ahs been born ALIVE.

Then you can proceed to the state where she and the baby reside, request a paternity test through the court.

Seriously, dude, no one needs to know your sexual habits.
You don't have to be an expert marksman to pick up a gun, pull the trigger, and kill someone.
You admit to having a three day sex romp with this stranger.
Whether you were shooting blanks, or nuclear missiles, won't be known until the baby has been born alive.

That "story" you told, made me feel a little dirty, dawg.
Trust me, I've struck a couple books of matches in my lifetime, but that doesn't matter.
I suspect most 10 or 12 year old kids know how babies are made.

 

[leslie82]

The whole story is like this:
First of all I was virgin till that time. So, I didn't have any experience. Maybe it is not normal but I am 31 and I tried to keep myself for my love. But, some friends told me you need to have experience, you need to find somebody to spend time, then your wife will be happier, etc.
I was thinking I am dating this person and I told her the truth.
But I feel she used me for her goals. I feel like a victim. Because she called me and she said about her trip to Germany and the guys over there that she slept with them. Then, she told me about the guys here she is touch right now. But she doesn't like them and she wants me to be with her. All in all, after being with this person as the first experience, I prefer to not to be with anybody. Being alone is better than being with wrong people. I made a bad mistake.

Another issue is that she is not in the same state now. She is in IL now and I am in VA.
If she wants to file something, shall I go to Chicago to attend the court? How if I file? She needs to come here?
If I need to pay, shall I pay based on the state I live or her state?
The final question, if after test we find out I am not the father, can I sue her?

Thank you so very much for all your comments.

None of that matters. So it's quite possible that isn't even your fetus IF there is even a fetus. She could be lying to you.

I suggest you break all contact with this woman and block her on all social media and phones. She's nothing but trouble it sounds like.

If she wants to file something, she will WHEN there is a child to file paternity and support for. Right now there isn't one. There is nothing for her to file.

Do not worry about who is filing when and where. THERE IS NO CHILD!! Not right now. So legally you have no obligation to her. If she files then deal with it but my advice is to stay the hell away from her from now on. Next time - wrap it up with your own condom.

 

[Sam2016]

None of that matters. So it's quite possible that isn't even your fetus IF there is even a fetus. She could be lying to you.

I suggest you break all contact with this woman and block her on all social media and phones. She's nothing but trouble it sounds like.

If she wants to file something, she will WHEN there is a child to file paternity and support for. Right now there isn't one. There is nothing for her to file.

Do not worry about who is filing when and where. THERE IS NO CHILD!! Not right now. So legally you have no obligation to her. If she files then deal with it but my advice is to stay the hell away from her from now on. Next time - wrap it up with your own condom.

Last night she called me. The baby is there! Now what can I do? Still nothing?
I have two questions, 1- shall I move my money from the bank accounts? Does it help to pay less in future?
2- I need to travel to Japan, can she stop me from this business travel? I am worried about all the story.

If you have any comments or remarks that can help me please let me know here or send me text. I really need help.

 

[leslie82]

Last night she called me. The baby is there! Now what can I do? Still nothing?
I have two questions, 1- shall I move my money from the bank accounts? Does it help to pay less in future?
2- I need to travel to Japan, can she stop me from this business travel? I am worried about all the story.

If you have any comments or remarks that can help me please let me know here or send me text. I really need help.

Have you seen an ultrasound? Just because she told you that she's pregnant doesn't mean she's telling the truth. Smh come on man. You seem pretty naïve for being 31.

I would ask her for an ultrasound and even then she can be lying. Yes you can fake an sonogram picture. It's actually quite easy if you know some basic Photoshop skills.

You don't have to do anything until she actually produces a child and you get a DNA test ASAP before you do anything else.

What do you mean move money from bank accounts? Did you put her on your bank accounts? Or to avoid child support?

Dude you need to CHILL OUT! She can't do anything to you until there is actually a baby. IF she is pregnant it might not even be yours!! If she was seeing all these other guys...that's why when she comes at you for child support you go to court. You take the DNA test. If it says you are NOT the father then you never talk to her again and you learn how to have safe sex. There are plenty of books and online documents on the subject. If you ARE the father, then you establish your paternity. You get fight for custody if you want. If not you get a visitation plan IN WRITING from the court. Yes you will have to pay child support. That's just the nature of the beast when you go having sex with random women.

Until then do what you want. Go on your business trip. Don't worry about her.

 

[Zorla]

Have you seen an ultrasound? Just because she told you that she's pregnant doesn't mean she's telling the truth. Smh come on man. You seem pretty naïve for being 31.

I would ask her for an ultrasound and even then she can be lying. Yes you can fake an sonogram picture. It's actually quite easy if you know some basic Photoshop skills.

You don't have to do anything until she actually produces a child and you get a DNA test ASAP before you do anything else.

What do you mean move money from bank accounts? Did you put her on your bank accounts? Or to avoid child support?

Dude you need to CHILL OUT! She can't do anything to you until there is actually a baby. IF she is pregnant it might not even be yours!! If she was seeing all these other guys...that's why when she comes at you for child support you go to court. You take the DNA test. If it says you are NOT the father then you never talk to her again and you learn how to have safe sex. There are plenty of books and online documents on the subject. If you ARE the father, then you establish your paternity. You get fight for custody if you want. If not you get a visitation plan IN WRITING from the court. Yes you will have to pay child support. That's just the nature of the beast when you go having sex with random women.

Until then do what you want. Go on your business trip. Don't worry about her.

The baby has allegedly been born, why would an ultrasound matter at this point? In October, when he created the post, he had slept with her 7 months prior.

Sent from my SM-G920F using Tapatalk

 

[leslie82]

The baby has allegedly been born, why would an ultrasound matter at this point? In October, when he created the post, he had slept with her 7 months prior.

Sent from my SM-G920F using Tapatalk

I misread the post. My bad. I'm sorry I'm not perfect as you. I missed where he said "the baby is here." No need to be a douche about it.

 

[leslie82]

Last night she called me. The baby is there! Now what can I do? Still nothing?
I have two questions, 1- shall I move my money from the bank accounts? Does it help to pay less in future?
2- I need to travel to Japan, can she stop me from this business travel? I am worried about all the story.

If you have any comments or remarks that can help me please let me know here or send me text. I really need help.

I misread your post that the baby is born.

Here's what you do. Get a DNA test. Don't sign ANYTHING. Don't go see the baby. Don't do anything. You get a DNA test first. IF you are the father THEN you go to court and establish paternity. File for custody if you wish otherwise a visitation plan but then you will pay child support also.

No she can't stop you from going anywhere but if she files for child support and you don't show up to court...

 

[army judge]

Does it help to pay less in future?

Relax, there much work to be done BEFORE you are LEGALLY required to pay child support.

Okay, this is how paternity is proven in VA:



The husband is the legal father and his name will be on the child's birth certificate.

In Virginia, if the parents of a child are not married to each other when the child is born, the child has no legal father until paternity is established.


Read this link:
...
...
http://www.dss.virginia.gov/pub/pdf/dcse_paternity.pdf
...
...

You now must contact:
DIVISION OF CHILD SUPPORT ENFORCEMENT
Virginia Department of Social Services

That information can be found in the "pdf" link above.

2- I need to travel to Japan, can she stop me from this business travel?

Are you serious?
No, you are free to travel anywhere on this planet.

 

[ElleMD]

What bank account? Why do you think you can not travel? Millions of parents travel for work on any given day. Until one of you files to establish paternity, you legally are not a parent.

 

[KatDini]

Or, wait until Mom files for CS. If she names you, then you can request a DNA test at that point. Until Mom files papers with the court and you are served, I suggest going about your life and business as if you never knew her.

 

[Sam2016]

Relax, there much work to be done BEFORE you are LEGALLY required to pay child support.

Okay, this is how paternity is proven in VA:



The husband is the legal father and his name will be on the child's birth certificate.

In Virginia, if the parents of a child are not married to each other when the child is born, the child has no legal father until paternity is established.


Read this link:
...
...
http://www.dss.virginia.gov/pub/pdf/dcse_paternity.pdf
...
...

You now must contact:
DIVISION OF CHILD SUPPORT ENFORCEMENT
Virginia Department of Social Services

That information can be found in the "pdf" link above.





Are you serious?
No, you are free to travel anywhere on this planet.

Thank you it was really helpful.

 

[Sam2016]

What bank account? Why do you think you can not travel? Millions of parents travel for work on any given day. Until one of you files to establish paternity, you legally are not a parent.

I don't know. I am asking, because I had money and maybe she found it, she planned to take advantage of me. How judge will decide? Based on salary or bank account? Maybe both of them?