- Jurisdiction
- Virginia
Good afternoon,
I appreciate the forum and hoping I can get some clarity on some things. I will provide some background information to give you an idea what I am currently going through at the moment.
Recently separated from the military after 9 years in January 2016. In January of 2016, also started a physical separation between my wife and I (nothing on paper, just living in separate places). We both have the intent on coming back together in a few months, but in case things do no work out, I wanted to get some advice.
The separation was a result of unhappiness for the most part. To be blunt, I sort of disconnected with my family. Wasn't the best husband or Dad. Never cheated on my wife - no physical abuse or anything like that, but she definitely lost some self esteem over the course of the past few years.
What I am most interested in is this:
I understand that if a court were to order alimony, a lot of it is based on the conditions in which my spouse were accustomed to. By the way she never worked through our marriage. She is working a little bit now. I will get more to that in a minute. She was always happy being a stay at home mom, and says that she would like to go back to that when things work out.
For almost the entirety of our marriage (9 years) our income was nothing extravagant. We have 2 children, 8 and 3.
Income for prior years (I am not sure if this is relevant but I am listing for background info).
Military BAH (housing) is not taxed, so I listed taxable and gross. I have a part time job that brings in around $20K/year gross (already factored into the figures below).
2011 - 34K taxable / 57K gross
2012 - 30K taxable / 57K gross
2013 - 32K taxable / 60K gross
2014 - 30K taxable / 58K gross
2015 - 27K taxable / 56K gross
2016 is going to be much different. I will bring in around $115K gross with my primary job, and $20K gross from my secondary job.
If we decided our marriage is not going to work (we have to wait 1 year in the state of VA), what is the judge going to look at? Is he going to look at her standards of living while we were together or will my MUCH higher salary be considered? I understand child support is based on my income NOW, but what about the alimony portion? How long might a judge order I pay alimony for?
I have figured out the child support using calculators online, and I spoke with JAG briefly to see what might be "fair" while we go through this trial separation.
We have agreed to $3,200 per month TOTAL factoring in child support and alimony (this seems rather high IF we were to divorce, but who knows divorce is not cheap). I love my wife and I am not going to let her struggle, but I would really like to get an idea and some opinions on the way things may turn out if things go south. IF the judge were to factor in my income NOW, I am assuming this $3,200 may be a predictable figure. I believe worst case scenario for child support is $1,600 per month. That is me NEVER seeing the kids and her not working at ALL. The reality is, I have the kids 20% of the time since I work full time (2 jobs at that). Her income is around $1,000 per month from her job, on top of the $3,200 I am giving her.
The $20K part time job MAY be going away soon. I sure hope it doesn't otherwise we are going to have to change A LOT. We are both just making it by now - all bills are paid, but not a whole lot of extra spending money.
Any advice is appreciated.
Also, how does health insurance work? I would carry my wife if I could but not sure if you can put a divorced spouse on health insurance. My kids would be covered for sure. It costs me $400/month out of pocket for my family now.
When factoring in child support how do you factor in child care? My wife works 10 hours per week now. If she says, I want to work 20, will I have to foot the bill for the child care if I was unavailable to watch the kids?
I know lots of questions, but what I would like to really gather from all of this is what might be a realistic amount for alimony and for how long? What all will be considered based on the background I have provided? I believe I have the child support down with the calculators online. Any help is appreciated.
I appreciate the forum and hoping I can get some clarity on some things. I will provide some background information to give you an idea what I am currently going through at the moment.
Recently separated from the military after 9 years in January 2016. In January of 2016, also started a physical separation between my wife and I (nothing on paper, just living in separate places). We both have the intent on coming back together in a few months, but in case things do no work out, I wanted to get some advice.
The separation was a result of unhappiness for the most part. To be blunt, I sort of disconnected with my family. Wasn't the best husband or Dad. Never cheated on my wife - no physical abuse or anything like that, but she definitely lost some self esteem over the course of the past few years.
What I am most interested in is this:
I understand that if a court were to order alimony, a lot of it is based on the conditions in which my spouse were accustomed to. By the way she never worked through our marriage. She is working a little bit now. I will get more to that in a minute. She was always happy being a stay at home mom, and says that she would like to go back to that when things work out.
For almost the entirety of our marriage (9 years) our income was nothing extravagant. We have 2 children, 8 and 3.
Income for prior years (I am not sure if this is relevant but I am listing for background info).
Military BAH (housing) is not taxed, so I listed taxable and gross. I have a part time job that brings in around $20K/year gross (already factored into the figures below).
2011 - 34K taxable / 57K gross
2012 - 30K taxable / 57K gross
2013 - 32K taxable / 60K gross
2014 - 30K taxable / 58K gross
2015 - 27K taxable / 56K gross
2016 is going to be much different. I will bring in around $115K gross with my primary job, and $20K gross from my secondary job.
If we decided our marriage is not going to work (we have to wait 1 year in the state of VA), what is the judge going to look at? Is he going to look at her standards of living while we were together or will my MUCH higher salary be considered? I understand child support is based on my income NOW, but what about the alimony portion? How long might a judge order I pay alimony for?
I have figured out the child support using calculators online, and I spoke with JAG briefly to see what might be "fair" while we go through this trial separation.
We have agreed to $3,200 per month TOTAL factoring in child support and alimony (this seems rather high IF we were to divorce, but who knows divorce is not cheap). I love my wife and I am not going to let her struggle, but I would really like to get an idea and some opinions on the way things may turn out if things go south. IF the judge were to factor in my income NOW, I am assuming this $3,200 may be a predictable figure. I believe worst case scenario for child support is $1,600 per month. That is me NEVER seeing the kids and her not working at ALL. The reality is, I have the kids 20% of the time since I work full time (2 jobs at that). Her income is around $1,000 per month from her job, on top of the $3,200 I am giving her.
The $20K part time job MAY be going away soon. I sure hope it doesn't otherwise we are going to have to change A LOT. We are both just making it by now - all bills are paid, but not a whole lot of extra spending money.
Any advice is appreciated.
Also, how does health insurance work? I would carry my wife if I could but not sure if you can put a divorced spouse on health insurance. My kids would be covered for sure. It costs me $400/month out of pocket for my family now.
When factoring in child support how do you factor in child care? My wife works 10 hours per week now. If she says, I want to work 20, will I have to foot the bill for the child care if I was unavailable to watch the kids?
I know lots of questions, but what I would like to really gather from all of this is what might be a realistic amount for alimony and for how long? What all will be considered based on the background I have provided? I believe I have the child support down with the calculators online. Any help is appreciated.
