Toxic Paternal grandparents seeking visitation

[Rushia]

Well, I definitely think there's more to this story than the original post conveys. She says that there was an altercation between the stepfather and the grandparents. If there were problems, then why was the step involved at all? Also, is there an investigation into the claims of abuse against the stepfather, or were they dismissed?

While I'm no expert on gpv, I'm not convinced that her case is a slam-dunk either.

It depends on the gp. I can tell you that the gps in my case made the colossal mistake of searching out other family members to attempt to corroborate a fabricated story that my husband was abusing my children. They mistake was that they approached my children's stepmother who happens to be my best friend. She laughed in their faces and informed them that she WOULD be telling me about that. They drug my husband into the situation as much as they possibly could.

As far as the slam dunk....I agree. OP is still "new" into the gpv situation and we ALL spew that when we are confronted with the situation originally. There is more to the story that the OP is NOT telling us.

 

[Michael Wechsler]

First of all... my condolences to the OP. I'm very sorry for the loss. It must have been very difficult for you to have to deal with the father of your child, his problems and the conflict with his parents.

I don't want what I'm going to say to scare you and it shouldn't -- it just means you should prepare and plan well in advance. I may republish an article regarding a grandparents rights issue I witnessed take place in the state of Georgia and Colorado from a distance I have no idea whether the judge might actually be right on target here - I really don't know anything abou the case other than the limited set of facts you've shared. It seems like you have an issue concerning Grandparents' Rights. I've just read this thread briefly and I'll make a few comments:

(1) Why is there an acrimonious relationship between you and the child's paternal grandparents?

(2) What were the altercations that took place and how and why might it affect whether you are a competent parent and whether removal of your child from your home would truly be "in the best interests of the child" which, from my limited experience with the family court system is the legal standard? Did the altercation lead you to fear for the child's safety with the paternal grandparents?

(3) Is there a chance that the paternal grandparents might kidnap the child? Have they brought proceedings against you that would lead you to believe that they would withhold returning the child after visitation?

Given what I've seen, I wouldn't immediately disobey a judge's order. It could create a serious problem for you later in that courtroom, where you are going to return. Perhaps the best thing might be to think about the above. I won't get into the strange details of the twisted case I mentioned, but the grandparents in Colorado traveled to Georgia and essentially kidnapped their daughter's child by having an old judge issue an order (ex parte, no hearing or notice), taking the child from school and then leaving the state. I couldn't believe how long this went on... In short, the grandparents suffered from some serious psychological issues and even the grandmother's own children's affidavits against her were difficult to make a wrongful situation right. Perhaps having your attorney make the judge paranoid might be a better step in the right direction.

I'll say this too -- if you have an attorney (I believe you do) and you have confidence that he/she is competent, then you should heed the advice of your attorney. We can only know so much and our help here can only be second hand and from a distance.

Best of luck to you.

 

[lavawik]

My son just came home today from visitation with grandparents and we found him with a bottle of pills that belong to grandma. We looked in his spiderman bag and found another bottle of pills. What can we do or should we do? We already called and made a police report.

 

[Proserpina]

What kind of pills?

 

[BayState]

My son just came home today from visitation with grandparents and we found him with a bottle of pills that belong to grandma. We looked in his spiderman bag and found another bottle of pills. What can we do or should we do? We already called and made a police report.

Please...Go back through this thread and answer the asked questions. And PLEASE do not be "coy" in your postings. It is really commonsense to state what "pills" were found.

 

[irish223]

I'm confused..... You filed a police report because your son took his grandmother's pills? Hm, well, what you can and should do is call grandma and let her know where her medication is. Depending on the medication, it could be a real problem to be without. Most likely, she won't know it's missing until she's supposed to take it. Also, let her know that she needs to keep her medication out of reach of the toddler, especially if it doesn't have child-proof lids.

 

[army judge]

My son just came home today from visitation with grandparents and we found him with a bottle of pills that belong to grandma. We looked in his spiderman bag and found another bottle of pills. What can we do or should we do? We already called and made a police report.

My goodness.

What type of pills were these?
Were they aspirin, narcotics, or vitamins?

Have you notified granny?

She might need these pills for her ailments.

What did the police do or say?

Is Junior okay?

Have you asked Junior about the pills?

We require more information in order to help you, granny, and Junior!

 

[lavawik]

Yes, there is much more to the situation and I suppose I did leave much room for doubt on my part. I will begin with stating that over 15 years ago I was in an abusive relationship and pregnant, I was 15 yrs. old. I was scared to leave and scared that he would hurt my baby. I spoke to my mother about my concerns and told her I wouldn't leave him because he was going to kill me and my family. Yes, police were involved, but never helped, how could they I wouldn't leave. CPS told my mother she could have guardianship because I asked her to take him. So that was my dealings with CPS and I did not mention it right off the bat because I do not believe it has anything to do with what is going on right now.

As for my son, he is fine. He did not take any of the prescribed medication that was left in his bag and he is too young to question. We are not sure what type of pills are in the first bottle because there is a variety of them. When I googled the name on the bottle it stated that it was used for patients that had lupids, not sure if that's the correct spelling. The other bottle of pills were an antidepressant. I called and left her a message explaining she could pick them up if she'd like, but have not heard from her. The officer typed a report and said we neeeded to follow up with our attorney if we wanted to press charges and because he believes something like this may be enough to finish what was started.
Now to explain the reason of conflict between us...I got pregnant with her son's child. This woman treated me kindly until she found out I was pregnant and after that I became Americas most hated in her eyes. She has verbally abused me, told me my son did not belong to her son, and would never allow her child to make decision's for his own child, which was stressfull for both of us. My child has nothing from them here at home, not a toy or article of clothing...nothing. I even asked her for pictures of her son with my child so that I could put an album together for him and she denied me of that as well. I am more so disturbed by the fact that this family had my child baptised without my knowledge until recently and I am baffled by them telling my 2 year old his father is dead, he's too young to know about that and that should have been up tp me to have dealt with the situation. The list goes on, but I am not on here to put her on trial I am here to get advise as to what I could or should do to protect my child from this disturbing situation. The day after he shot himself I received a call from my son's Aunt and she wanted to know if they could pick my son up the next day, but in the same breath told me that her parents did not want to speak to me because of what I just put them through. We had 4 conversations like this all the while I had told them they could not take him, but they could come see him, they wanted it the way they wanted it and never came to see him, rather they took me to court and acussed my husband of abuse. NO! He isn't even able to spank the kids because as he puts it, he feels bad. Anyway, we went and got a background check on him and everything was totally clean...nothing was found. The reason they acussed him of being abusive was because on fathers day they brought my son home with his hair cut and I expressed to them not to cut his hair because I wanted to wait until he was 2 years old...they didn't wait and when I asked my son's father why he did it he became irrational. He started yelling at my husband and telling him that he was his daddy and he made him that he was nothing to my son, and all the while cursing and jumping around. Did I mention all the children were out there? Anyway, my husband told him to get out of the yard and leave or he would knock his behind out (not in those words), he didn't leave and started yelling at me and came towards me, so my husband put his arm out to stop him and told him he needed to leave before he got upset. The grandfather jumped out the car at this time and shoved his belly into my husband calling him boy and telling him that he didn't want any of this...to make it short they left and our neighbor wrote a statement for us because he was outdoors with his children watching. I'm not sure if that answered all the questions but I would hope that was enough of a bigger picture. As I said before this is not out of malice, I just want to protect what I love the most, my family.

 

[lavawik]

...BayState can you be clear as to what commonsense is? I am pretty sure there are things I have more knowledge about than you do, but would it be fair for me to say you have no common sense for not knowing? Please do not be rude with me. I am not here for pitty, or to be spoken to in such a way...thank you.

 

[BayState]

No. Don't bother. You will get no further assistance from me after that snotty remark.

 

[lavawik]

Did you truely take that as a snotty remark? It was not intended to be that way, I just felt your remark was rude and did not feel you had a reason to be rude with me.

 

[BayState]

Did you truely take that as a snotty remark? It was not intended to be that way, I just felt your remark was rude and did not feel you had a reason to be rude with me.

Yes. It was snotty. I have NO DOUBT you meant it as such. Please point out where I was "rude"??

 

[lavawik]

Please do not be coy...it is commonsense to state what type of pills. This is the remark I felt was rude. I am going through a lot right now and my mind is everywhere...maybe you didn't mean to be rude, but this is how I perceived it. I apologize if I was wrong, but know that If I was trying to be snotty I would back my snot up rather than apologize