Since I don't know what is going on it that house...what do I do?

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ineedofguidance

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Since I don't know what is going on in that house...what do I do?

Ok, my daughter came home last night from her fathers house, after visiting with her grandma and not him. He never spends personal time with her. He lives with his mom. I am in the middle of getting sole custody of my daughter. So anyways, she comes home and we get talking and she tells me that her father always drinks beers in front of her, smokes cigarettes, and get this...smokes weed in front of her. What the hell do I do? Should I put this in the court papers or just document it? or tell my lawyers or should child protective be involved? I'm confused and very pissed. Please give some advice.
Thanks!
 
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You don't know if it's true. Try not to get the child too worked up over this. I'd tell my attorney before doing anything else.

CPS could be told. But, see what your attorney advises before going that route.


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you dont have proof

ineedofguidance said:
Ok, my daughter came home last night from her fathers house, after visiting with her grandma and not him. He never spends personal time with her. He lives with his mom. I am in the middle of getting sole custody of my daughter. So anyways, she comes home and we get talking and she tells me that her father always drinks beers in front of her, smokes cigarettes, and get this...smokes weed in front of her. What the hell do I do? Should I put this in the court papers or just document it? or tell my lawyers or should child protective be involved? I'm confused and very pissed. Please give some advice.
Thanks!
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dad can allow the child to stay with anyone he wants during his time. you dont get to dictate that. even if you do get sole custody dad will still get vistation. unless you have seen it first hand( and i dont know if a judge will take your child's word for it) you still have to allow dad his vistation, or risk being in comtempt
 
I'm sure he can allow anyone to watch my daughter but when he has done it for 6 years straight its turning into a problem and my daughter doesn't want anything to do with him..basically because she doesn't even know him like that..she 10..just imagine going to your grandmothers house almost every weekend..your dad lives with her and your dad don't say much to you nor never spends time with you..never brings you anywhere except for the corner store..you tell me if that isn't affecting her long term..my daughter is very smart and she knows who loves her and who would do anything for her..I have never and I mean never NOT let him or his mother take my daughter and I think its crap that my daughter has to witness drugs and alcohol when my household don't do it. Its just f-ed up if you ask me and I'm not trying to get anyone in trouble I just want to know the best route to go.
 
ineedofguidance said:
I'm sure he can allow anyone to watch my daughter but when he has done it for 6 years straight its turning into a problem and my daughter doesn't want anything to do with him..basically because she doesn't even know him like that..she 10..just imagine going to your grandmothers house almost every weekend..your dad lives with her and your dad don't say much to you nor never spends time with you..never brings you anywhere except for the corner store..you tell me if that isn't affecting her long term..my daughter is very smart and she knows who loves her and who would do anything for her..I have never and I mean never NOT let him or his mother take my daughter and I think its crap that my daughter has to witness drugs and alcohol when my household don't do it. Its just f-ed up if you ask me and I'm not trying to get anyone in trouble I just want to know the best route to go.
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If you don't have a lawyer, you need one. Not because a lawyer will get this info into court, but instead will prevent you from making the mistake of bringing all this up in court.

You're trying to get a relocation modification, right? Your daughter has been visiting her father and grandmother under these circumstances for the past 5 years. Apparently, you've done nothing about it during that time. A judge is not likely to entertain all these accusations, and may actually get peeved that you've waited to bring it up until you want to move.

In your first post, you said grandma is a great grandmother. In another you bad-mouth her. You also said the dad is an alcoholic. Your daughter wants fiancee's name. Dad is not a father-figure, fiancee is. You want to move 8 hours away and offer extended visitations. You don't think he should have any visitation. See the problem?

Bottom line is, he's her father. Whatever your complaints, he's paying his support and exercising his visitation. You may be allowed to move with your daughter, but there is no way that you'll be able to yank dad's visitation or his rights. (I know you never mentioned that, but it sure sounded like that was where you were going in your other thread. I apologize if I'm wrong.)
 
Yes, I am trying to get modification to relocate. I know your right about not bringing anything up earlier but I just found out. I didn't say anything about that in the petition, I just basically said I would like sole custody being that he doesn't exercise his visitation rights anyway.
But, I never said he shouldn't have visitation, I just said he doesn't use it. I posted a thread to see if this would be feasible for a visitation schedule for out of state.
Here is the post:
Petitioner wishes to accommodate visitation one weekend a month, extended visitation during spring, winter, and summer breaks, every other major holiday (ie.Thanksgiving and Christmas), and three day weekends as agreed upon.
Petitioner agrees for child to have phone contact with Respondent within reasonable times as agreed upon.
Petitioner agrees for child to have Skype web visits with Respondent within reasonable times (will not be counted against in person visitation).
Petitioner is willing to pay for all travel expenses associated with the above visitation schedule; other visitation not associated with visitation schedule will be paid by respondent.
You see, I don't want to take her away from her father or grandmother, I just want whats right for both of us and I think this visitation schedule is more accomodating than others.
 
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look in to everthing

I used the internet to find some amazing things that are legal in court. Look on facebook,myspace,any internet site they may use all is legal in court you just need the person who found the info to go to hearing.
You can also find court record on the web you may be surprised the info. I believe the court will look after the child first the way it should be.You also are able to have her as a witness when you go to court. Smoking weed in front of a child will kill his position. Ask for drug testing prior to any visit even when supervised.Maybe even when you are at ur court date.
 
daughter doesnt call the shots

irish223 said:
If you don't have a lawyer, you need one. Not because a lawyer will get this info into court, but instead will prevent you from making the mistake of bringing all this up in court.

You're trying to get a relocation modification, right? Your daughter has been visiting her father and grandmother under these circumstances for the past 5 years. Apparently, you've done nothing about it during that time. A judge is not likely to entertain all these accusations, and may actually get peeved that you've waited to bring it up until you want to move.

In your first post, you said grandma is a great grandmother. In another you bad-mouth her. You also said the dad is an alcoholic. Your daughter wants fiancee's name. Dad is not a father-figure, fiancee is. You want to move 8 hours away and offer extended visitations. You don't think he should have any visitation. See the problem?

Bottom line is, he's her father. Whatever your complaints, he's paying his support and exercising his visitation. You may be allowed to move with your daughter, but there is no way that you'll be able to yank dad's visitation or his rights. (I know you never mentioned that, but it sure sounded like that was where you were going in your other thread. I apologize if I'm wrong.)
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it doesnt matter what your daughter wants, she doesnt make those kind of decisions. not what her name is(untill shes 18, then she can change it to anything she wants. changing it to your fiance's doesnt make him the dad or give him rights, hes a legal stranger to your daughter, even after you marry. and you need dad's permission to change it anyway) or wether or not she sees dad( untill shes 18, she cannot legally refuse, or she could end up living with dad and visting you)
 
this isn't true. my daughters fathers name is not on the bc and I already called the court and they said I can legally change it because his name isn't on the bc..so get your facts straight and read the whole story before responding.
 
ineedofguidance said:
this isn't true. my daughters fathers name is not on the bc and I already called the court and they said I can legally change it because his name isn't on the bc..so get your facts straight and read the whole story before responding.
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I have NO idea why that poster quoted my response.... it had nothing to do with her/his response. :confused: Not surprising, though. :rolleyes:

Regarding the name change, you WILL have to notify the father of your intentions, and he WILL have the opportunity to object if paternity has been established. It doesn't matter what name is on the birth certificate. I'm surprised anyone at the courthouse would advise you differently.
 
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