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onedayatatime

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I have a two year old. Her father has never made an effort to see her. Never bought her the first diaper or anything. He said He would not sign his rights over and that If I tried to get him for Child Support he would fight me for custody. What chances does he have??
 
Slim and none.

Speak to a lawyer and fight him in court.

Even if he doesn't, you should take him to court.

Get a court order for custody and support issues.

These things are better settled in court than between the two of you.

If someone doesn't do as they are supposed to do, tell the judge.

The court will settle it.
 
onedayatatime said:
Okay thank you!

So once he signs his rights over, He will not ever have to pay child support?
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Usually not.

You give something to get something in this life.

He's giving up his parental rights to the child, to avoid paying support.

You and the child are better off without that deadbeat in your lives.

Let him go, especially for the child's sake.

Tell her when she's old enough, that her father died fighting in Iraq.

Never let that bum around that precious little darling, ever.

If you do, you'll open up a decaying mass of flesh that will destroy your child.

I wish the best for you and your child.
 
OP, unless you have a husband willing to adopt your child, your ex cannot voluntarily terminate his parental rights. You don't have to file for child support but if you do, he WILL likely get joint legal custody and ample visitation.

I cannot agree with the idea of lying to your child; if for no other reason than if you let sleeping dogs lie and ten years later he does want to play Daddy....it's going to traumatize your daughter immensely if she's been told (for example) that her Daddy died.

There is a difference between relinquishing custody and terminating his rights - I think the former is possible and likely, but as I said the latter isn't going to happen outside of a stepparent adoption.
 
He cannot sign his rights over just to evade CS. Unless an adoption is taking place he can't. If you want child support then file for it. Paternity will need to be established if it hasnt been already. He has virtually no chance of custody since he has no realtionship with the child BUT he can certainly try and give you some stress and headaches. He can ask for some sort of visitation and he likely will get it, even supervised. Figure out if you want him involved or not and how bad you need the support.
 
If he has never made an effort to be there for the child I will assume paternity has never been established, thus really meaning he has to do that first to establish his rights. I do think you should never lie to her for the reason stated above though. If he doesn't want to be around I would leave it at that, because you both are better off. If you however do want to file for support, paternity will be established first and he likely will get visitation but I doubt he could get joint physical custody based on his not acting as a parent should.
 
DNA test has been done. I do have a child support case but I closed it. I just don't see why he can't sign his rights over like he wants to and we go our seperate ways.

I would never tell my Daughter that her dad was dead, that is just mean and wrong.
 
I guess the simple thing would be to just go your own ways and hope he doesn't return years down the road wanting to actually try to be a father. Of course if he disappears and stays out of the child's life for years to come, I doubt he will ever have a change of heart not to mention he is going to have a hard time explaining to a judge why he never wanted to be around before and why bother now.
 
Perhaps you could file to have his rights terminated? I don't know to be honest, but if you file for his rights to be terminated and tell him it is only because he just can't sign his rights over(which I though people did all the time with or without a pending adoption but going by the advice here I guess I am wrong) and this way he can go do whatever he wants and never worry about support or anything, maybe he will agree to the petition and thus it in theory should be easy to win the case. Perhaps Army or one of the others can let you know if this is an option or possible. I am not a lawyer, just giving an idea that popped into my head as soon as I posted the last post.
 
Very few States will allow voluntary termination of parental rights outside of a step-parent adoption proceeding.

The State has a vested interest here; they want the child to be supported by two parents and terminating the rights of one increases the chance that the other will need State aid.
 
It is not in the childs best interest to terminate the rights of the father leaving her with no legal father. Plus if you go on gov't assistance the state then cannot recoup money from Dad. If he does not want involvement and you like it this way just leave things they way they are.
 
If Dad is out of the picture long enough (like more than just 2 years)you might be able to get his rights terminated then. But if he's not in the childs life now then really what does it matter if he has "rights" if he's not useing them then really you've got the same thing you would have if he didn't have any rights. Who knows maybe dad will come around sometime soon and end up being a good dad. Strager things have happened... remember always stay positive.
 
Thank you so much Barbie for the positive note, The only reason I am worried about the whole rights thing is because I don't want him or his parents to try and get custody and then I have to send my daughter off for a weekend to stay with Strangers.

This dad ain't coming around all he cares about is smoking weed, drinking and partying!
 
onedayatatime said:
Thank you so much Barbie for the positive note, The only reason I am worried about the whole rights thing is because I don't want him or his parents to try and get custody and then I have to send my daughter off for a weekend to stay with Strangers.

This dad ain't coming around all he cares about is smoking weed, drinking and partying!
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That's not how visitation works. If he did file, he'd likely have supervised, graduated visitation including a reintroduction period. So, "strangers" wouldn't even be a factor. Kiddo would know Dad. Eventually he'd be able to take her for longer periods, overnights and without supervision.

Also, abandonment will NOT be an issue unless there IS actually an order for child support and visitation AND Dad THEN doesn't bother to visit or pay child support.

(Besides, his parents have no standing to sue for custody)
 
You're welcome! Everything will eventually work out the way its meant to. Unfortunetly with some parents that is all they care about doing. Good luck with everything! Keep doing what youre doing now and everthing should work out in your favor.
 
Someone told me they went through DSS to sign their parental rights over. Does DSS handle it too? I would much rather do that if I could.
 
onedayatatime said:
Someone told me they went through DSS to sign their parental rights over. Does DSS handle it too? I would much rather do that if I could.
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Someone was either mistaken or was doing something quite different - I'm not sure whether or not you've read all of the posts here but I'll try to reiterate:

Dad cannot simply terminate his parental rights unless you have a step-parent willing to adopt the child.

Seriously - it's just not going to happen.
 
Even if someone is ready and waiting to adopt her if his rights were signed over the chances of getting his rights terminated against his will is really hard to do. I would say nearly impossible unless there's good reason. which in this case I don't think they'd do it. Sorry...
 
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