Paternity test for daughter came back negative - considering divorce

G

gonzagawop

New Member
Hello,

I just got a paternity test back which showed that my 14 month old daughter is not actually mine (test showed 0% probability). I did this on my own without my wife so she has no knowledge of the incident. I immediately scheduled a followup DNA test that can be used for court purposes as needed through a credited testing house. If this test comes back negative as well I am surely divorcing my wife. My question is what to do about parental rights? If I don't want to get stuck with child support I heard you can have your name removed from the birth certificate for the child with the legally acceptable DNA tests through court litigation and that as long as this is done before a child support agreement I should be negated from financial responsibility. I had always assumed I was the father so my name is on the birth certificate.

Is it better to do all this before confronting my wife? I heard that if she beats me to the punch and starts claiming child support before I have refuted the paternity I can still be liable to pay for a child that is not mine! Also, are there any legal considerations in my favor when filing for divorce given the circumstances of the test results?

I'm worried that I need to make all the moves in place ahead of time to insure minimal damage. My wife is very vindictive and I know that if I tip my hand she will do anything to sabotage my escape.

Finally, is there any chance that the paternity test can be challenged if it is a legally approved test?

Thanks,
-AStressedOutDad
 
The court can decide that disestablishing you as father is not in the child's best interest no matter what biology says. That would mean you'll remain father, along with all the rights and obligations.

You call your wife vindictive, yet you yourself are willing to simply drop this 14-month old baby from your life without a second thought. You don't find that to be vindictive? Punishing the child?

California is no-fault, so no - you won't gain anything by complaining about adultery.
 
gonzagawop said:
Hello,

I just got a paternity test back which showed that my 14 month old daughter is not actually mine (test showed 0% probability). I did this on my own without my wife so she has no knowledge of the incident. I immediately scheduled a followup DNA test that can be used for court purposes as needed through a credited testing house. If this test comes back negative as well I am surely divorcing my wife. My question is what to do about parental rights? If I don't want to get stuck with child support I heard you can have your name removed from the birth certificate for the child with the legally acceptable DNA tests through court litigation and that as long as this is done before a child support agreement I should be negated from financial responsibility. I had always assumed I was the father so my name is on the birth certificate.

Is it better to do all this before confronting my wife? I heard that if she beats me to the punch and starts claiming child support before I have refuted the paternity I can still be liable to pay for a child that is not mine! Also, are there any legal considerations in my favor when filing for divorce given the circumstances of the test results?

I'm worried that I need to make all the moves in place ahead of time to insure minimal damage. My wife is very vindictive and I know that if I tip my hand she will do anything to sabotage my escape.

Finally, is there any chance that the paternity test can be challenged if it is a legally approved test?

Thanks,
-AStressedOutDad
Click to expand...

This is an extremely complicated matter, as well as deeply personal.
You need to consult a good divorce attorney to do this on your behalf.
You should see one today.
As long as you're married to her, she births a child, you're the father.
In your case, that means all the financial obligations of parenthood.
It's possible to get it undone, but don't do it yourself.
Retain your lawyer today, instruct him or her as to your wishes, then proceed.
It's personal, problematic, painful, and puzzling.
If its not your child, as long as it was born during your marriage, it's your child.
It can be unraveled, thank goodness for DNA testing.
Furthermore, there's a man out there who's possibly abdicated his responsibilities, or might want to own them if he knows.
But, until a proper test has been conducted, I'd discuss this only with my lawyer.
 
The child was born during the marriage this makes the child yours regardless of what DNA says. Until you can find actual sperm donor its unlikely you can disestablish yourself as Father and the legal obligations that go with it. I have to agree with earlier post you can just shit off your feelings for a child you presumed was yours for over a year?
 
Of course, I'm sure OP realizes that Mom will have to be swabbed also. How else to prove that the child presented for swabbing wasn't the neighbor's child borrowed to foul up the results?
 
shrinkmaster said:
The child was born during the marriage this makes the child yours regardless of what DNA says. Until you can find actual sperm donor its unlikely you can disestablish yourself as Father and the legal obligations that go with it. I have to agree with earlier post you can just shit off your feelings for a child you presumed was yours for over a year?
Click to expand...

Unfortunately, he does have the chance to disestablish paternity as part of a divorce action.

Once that's over though, all bets are off.

This one truly saddens (or disgusts?) me.
 
The one I feel sorry for is the child. :(
 
I understand peoples concerns about the child and yes I am going through a million emotions right now from frustration, anger and resentment and complete sadness to the highest extent. I do love our daughter but I want nothing to do with my wife after this and I don't find it vindictive that I should just be "okay" with her taking a dump on my life. The whole reason we married was because she was pregnant and I wanted to do the right thing and our marriage has been nothing but hell. I have no idea who the father is and my hope would be that he can step in and be a good dad but I am destroyed and this is the last straw for me.... I would think that it would be better for her to find the babys real dad and for me to get out now before she becomes too attached to me.
 
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There's nothing we can help you with.

File for divorce, and to disestablish paternity if that's your wish.

Then you can turn away and never look back (assuming the court allows it).

And yes, you're punishing your child for the actions of her mother.
 
Considering how you feel towards mother and child, it probably is best that you cut and run now. Just don't kid yourself that the child isn't already attached.
 

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