Move away

[April416]

Jurisdiction

California

I live with my domestic partner and we have a 5 month old baby. We are not married and don't have court order. We build a websites together and getting payments from affiliate programs. Right now it's our main income.

He also has 2 kids from 2 different women. He has joint custody with them.Kids spend 4 days in a week with us, I mostly take care of our baby.

He's been emotionally abusing me and we have been fighting a lot. He can't control himself ( screams, breaks stuff) infront of the baby, and tries to take her away from me. He's also addicted to weed and smokes couple times a day and it affects me and the baby because it changes his mood and ability to take care of the baby. She is very attached to me and cries when he takes her. I even called police one time, because he wouldn't give her back to me, even if she was desperately crying. I tried to talk to him, and have a civil break up without dramas and fighting, but no luck.

My family lives in Russia and I don't have any support here. I want to move back to Russia with the baby, but he will never give me permission to take her. I wanted to know what are my chances to win the full custody and move away. I'm able to bring child back in USA for visitation every summer and winter break, I have a USA passport.

Thank you in advance for any advice you can give

 

[shrinkmaster]

If your not married he very likely does not have any parental rights. If you were to move to Russia by time he got any court order you would be gone. However you are best served consulting a local Attorney.

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[army judge]

I wanted to know what are my chances to win the full custody and move away.

You are the sole guardian of the child you foolishly birthed for the drug abusing savage.

An unmarried male has NO parental rights to a child born out of wedlock.

ALL parental rights to such a child are vested at birth soley in the birth mother, that means you, OP.

You will have trouble getting the baby out of the US without a passport.

If you're in the US illegally, you might contact the Russian embassy or a consulate and see if yoru child qualifies for a Russian passport.

If that is the case, you can simply leave upon receiving the child's passport.

If the abusive savage is that bad, leave ASAP and find a battered women's shelter or a Russian Consulate or your Russian Embassy in DC.

Do whatever it the takes to get out of the USA as soon as you can.

You foreigners are no match for the millions of deviants and criminals that now INFEST the USA.

 

[mightymoose]

You say you are domestic partners... That could mean different things.

Are you the birth mother of the child?

Did the father complete a declaration of paternity at the time of birth?

 

[April416]

You say you are domestic partners... That could mean different things.

Are you the birth mother of the child?

Did the father complete a declaration of paternity at the time of birth?

Yes I'm the birth mother of the child and yes he did complete declaration of paternity and he is on the birth certificate of the child. We live together I thought that's what domestic partner means.

 

[zddoodah]

I live with my domestic partner

In a legal sense, there's no such thing as "domestic partners" who are not of the same gender. The term "domestic partnership" was concocted to give homosexual couples some of the benefits of marriage in the years before gay marriage was allowed. You're simply talking about a boyfriend with whom you had a child out of wedlock, and it sounds like his paternity was established.

I wanted to know what are my chances to win the full custody and move away.

Virtually nil. In order to take the child out of the country, you would need to obtain a passport for her, and you cannot do that without the father's permission or a court order. Since you moving to Russia with the child would, as a practical matter, mean she'd never see her father again (if you have the financial resources to fly the child from Russia to California multiple times every year for the next 18 years so that the father can have meaningful visitation, then your claim that the move is needed for "support" purposes doesn't withstand scrutiny), the chances of a court determining that this would be in the child's best interests are almost non-existent. Moreover, if you decide at some point to blow off your obligation to bring the child to California for visitation, the father would have no meaningful way of enforcing it.

That said, feel free to consult with a local family law attorney.

 

[mightymoose]

It sounds as if paternity is satisfied so far as California would be concerned (he submitted a declaration and has not contested paternity).

Courts here would recognize that the father has established certain custodial rights with the child, even if not yet spelled out in an order.

If you attempted to move away out of state or out of country the child would ultimately be returned to California to the father or state custody (if the father took action to contest your move), and you could face criminal charges (Penal Code 278.5 or something similar).

The correct thing for you to do is initiate action with the Family Court and obtain a child custody/visitation order. In negotiating that order you can try to develop terms that allow you and possibly the child to move where you would like to go, but the odds of the court allowing the child to leave the country are very low.

 

[zddoodah]

If you attempted to move away out of state or out of country the child would ultimately be returned to California to the father or state custody (if the father took action to contest your move), and you could face criminal charges (Penal Code 278.5 or something similar).

PC 278.5 requires more than simply attempting any of the things mentioned in the statute. If the OP actually got out of the U.S. and into Russia, getting her or the child back would require significant effort and cost.

 

[mightymoose]

PC 278.5 requires more than simply attempting any of the things mentioned in the statute. If the OP actually got out of the U.S. and into Russia, getting her or the child back would require significant effort and cost.

Concealing the child in a manner that deprives a person of custodial privileges is what matters. This would likely happen leading up to an actual move out of country, and could even apply if just moving across town while making further plans. It is not the move that matters, but the restriction of access to the child. Based on the information provided it seems likely to me this would happen before an actual move took place.
If this father has a declaration of paternity he is entitled the same rights as the mother. I have never come across anyone who could actually produce the document, but the OP indicated it was obtained. If that did not exist she could probably do as she pleases.

 

[army judge]

If that did not exist she could probably do as she pleases.

If she manages to get the child into Russia, I know she will be untouchable.

I'm not encouraging such behavior, mind you, I'm simply stating something I have seen firsthand.

China, Vietnam, Egypt, Saudi Arabia, North Korea, Dubai, and several other African nations are also safe havens for those who get their kid(s) out of the USA.

 

[leslie82]

I live with my domestic partner and we have a 5 month old baby. We are not married and don't have court order. We build a websites together and getting payments from affiliate programs. Right now it's our main income.

He also has 2 kids from 2 different women. He has joint custody with them.Kids spend 4 days in a week with us, I mostly take care of our baby.

He's been emotionally abusing me and we have been fighting a lot. He can't control himself ( screams, breaks stuff) infront of the baby, and tries to take her away from me. He's also addicted to weed and smokes couple times a day and it affects me and the baby because it changes his mood and ability to take care of the baby. She is very attached to me and cries when he takes her. I even called police one time, because he wouldn't give her back to me, even if she was desperately crying. I tried to talk to him, and have a civil break up without dramas and fighting, but no luck.

My family lives in Russia and I don't have any support here. I want to move back to Russia with the baby, but he will never give me permission to take her. I wanted to know what are my chances to win the full custody and move away. I'm able to bring child back in USA for visitation every summer and winter break, I have a USA passport.

Thank you in advance for any advice you can give

If he is an unmarried male and has not established his rights to your children with him then he has no paternity. He has no rights. HE doesn't give you permission. You need to talk to a lawyer. You could maybe just take her and go back to Russia and he'll have a hell of a time getting her but I can't guarantee that. If I was you I'd go find a few lawyers who do free consultations and find some legit legal advice about leaving the country.

For now, you need to get away from him. There are domestic violence resources in every single US state. Find them. There are shelters you can stay at and he will not find you unless you tell him. I stayed in a shelter one night when I left my ex husband and I had to sign things saying I wouldn't tell anyone the address or I'd be kicked out. There is help out there and for now you need to take care of you and the kids. Get out. As soon as you can.

Also if you manage to take your kids out of the country, NEVER talk to him again. Never let him near them again. If you can get out without going through the courts do it and never look back. He is not fit to be around them.

 

[leslie82]

Yes I'm the birth mother of the child and yes he did complete declaration of paternity and he is on the birth certificate of the child. We live together I thought that's what domestic partner means.

If he did an acknowledgment of paternity and that's the state law where you live - he may have paternity established which then gives him rights. BUT there's no custody order.

You need to talk to a lawyer.

 

[April416]

Thank you all the reply.

I did talk to couple family lawyers, they kept telling me that I have a little chance to take the baby out of country and my case is very difficult, some of them refused to work with me, others want money firts to give real advice.

I don't wanna be criminal and live my life being affraid that someday I will loose my baby and will go to jail. But I can't stay with him either I feel trapped, and he knows that I have a little chance to win custody and acts even more arrogant, he tells me to leave the baby and go back to my country, I can't leave my baby I can't imagine my life without her. I don't understand how judge can grant him full custody if
1. He doesn't have a stable house or job
2. He's addicted to marijuana
3 he has 2 more kids from other woman that cuts his time to spend with us
How he is going to take care of baby if he doesn't know how to cook, doesn't know how to wash her and plus baby is very attached to me I barely can take a shower cause she starts crying when i am not around her.

 

[army judge]

Thank you all the reply.

I did talk to couple family lawyers, they kept telling me that I have a little chance to take the baby out of country and my case is very difficult, some of them refused to work with me, others want money firts to give real advice.

I don't wanna be criminal and live my life being affraid that someday I will loose my baby and will go to jail. But I can't stay with him either I feel trapped, and he knows that I have a little chance to win custody and acts even more arrogant, he tells me to leave the baby and go back to my country, I can't leave my baby I can't imagine my life without her. I don't understand how judge can grant him full custody if
1. He doesn't have a stable house or job
2. He's addicted to marijuana
3 he has 2 more kids from other woman that cuts his time to spend with us
How he is going to take care of baby if he doesn't know how to cook, doesn't know how to wash her and plus baby is very attached to me I barely can take a shower cause she starts crying when i am not around her.

You keep repeating the same, confused responses.

You won't find a lawyer here that will help you.

As suggested find a battered women's shelter.
There you WILL find answers and help, and the beast won't find you.

 

[mightymoose]

You can easily be awarded custody and separate from the father. You just may not be able to leave the country, or even the state, with the child.
Move out any time you like. Just don't try to hide the child from him. If he has been violent toward you can might be able to get an emergency custody order until the matter can be heard in court.
You have options- just maybe not the option you prefer.

 

[leslie82]

Thank you all the reply.

I did talk to couple family lawyers, they kept telling me that I have a little chance to take the baby out of country and my case is very difficult, some of them refused to work with me, others want money firts to give real advice.

I don't wanna be criminal and live my life being affraid that someday I will loose my baby and will go to jail. But I can't stay with him either I feel trapped, and he knows that I have a little chance to win custody and acts even more arrogant, he tells me to leave the baby and go back to my country, I can't leave my baby I can't imagine my life without her. I don't understand how judge can grant him full custody if
1. He doesn't have a stable house or job
2. He's addicted to marijuana
3 he has 2 more kids from other woman that cuts his time to spend with us
How he is going to take care of baby if he doesn't know how to cook, doesn't know how to wash her and plus baby is very attached to me I barely can take a shower cause she starts crying when i am not around her.

There is no guarantee he will get sole custody. No one can guarantee that. He's just trying to scare you.

However, in the US parenting has a low, low threshold. Him not having a job or a house wouldn't prevent him from getting custody nor his drug use. Nor him having multiple children with multiple women. I doubt he would because a judge looks to who is the primary caregiver and who is best for the kid. But those would not rule a person out of custody.

You need to find a shelter or domestic violence services in your area. Keep talking to lawyers. When I first thought about leaving my ex husband I talked to a few lawyers and one of them waived his consultation fee after I told him my ex husband is an addict, abusive and I'm military. But that wasn't the first one I talked to. Just look for "lawyers who do free consultations in (insert your state or town here)" in the search bar.

 

[zddoodah]

Thank you all the reply.

I did talk to couple family lawyers, they kept telling me that I have a little chance to take the baby out of country and my case is very difficult, some of them refused to work with me, others want money firts to give real advice.

I don't wanna be criminal and live my life being affraid that someday I will loose my baby and will go to jail. But I can't stay with him either I feel trapped, and he knows that I have a little chance to win custody and acts even more arrogant, he tells me to leave the baby and go back to my country, I can't leave my baby I can't imagine my life without her. I don't understand how judge can grant him full custody if
1. He doesn't have a stable house or job
2. He's addicted to marijuana
3 he has 2 more kids from other woman that cuts his time to spend with us
How he is going to take care of baby if he doesn't know how to cook, doesn't know how to wash her and plus baby is very attached to me I barely can take a shower cause she starts crying when i am not around her.

So seek a divorce with whatever custody arrangements you believe are appropriate. Given what you've told us, the likelihood that the court would award your husband sole physical or legal custody are virtually non-existent. The court might award you sold physical and legal custody, but, as previously mentioned, the chances of being allowed to move to Russia are also virtually non-existent.