Married but I think I am gay

[sailboat111]

I am a 30 yr old female who has been married for 10 yrs with 2 children. Before I got married (at a young age) and started a family, I knew I was attracted to women. In fact, I told my husband if I hadn't married him, I would be gay. Over the years, I learned that my husband, who is almost a decade older than me, has a horrible temper, is verbally abusive, and controlling. I have always fantasized about women, never men. Slowly but surely my feelings are being confirmed. Here I am completely unhappy, wanting a separation, and not knowing how to go about it. I resent him for all that he has done and i feel stuck. Do I say I am gay or do I not for fear of losing my children. What are my rights? What is the best way to go about separating? Someone please help me!

 

[Proserpina]

File for divorce, request temporary custody of the kids and exclusive use of the marital home.


Your state allows for "no fault" divorce; go do it!

 

[sailboat111]

What is a "no fault divorce?"

 

[army judge]

What is a "no fault divorce?"

It is a way to get a divorce and not blame the other party for the divorce.

Some states require a reason in order to request a divorce (adultery, irreconcilable differences, drug abuse, etc...)

In your state, according to Proserpina, all you have to do is ask for a divorce; wait a few months or so, and be granted the divorce.

 

[Proserpina]

What is a "no fault divorce?"

OP, read further here


These pro se (self-representation) forms are from Fairfax Co's self-help website; call your local court house and ask if they can be used if you're not in Fairfax. If not, the clerk can tell you which forms you need.

 

[Duranie]

On another note though, even if you are gay, divorce is hard on the kids and you should refrain from exposing them to any new realtionship whether this person is male or female. You can file for custody sure but joint is often given to. Whatever you do try to avoid a custody battle and see if you and Dad can work something out.

 

[jharris352]

On this I totally agree with Duraine (before she thinks I'm personally against her I'm not). Be careful of exposing your children to any relationship (not just a gay one) because they will not be happy about the divorce to begin with. Secondly children may be quickly attached to a temporary relationship and have a hard time when that relationship ends.

I think a no fault divorce is perfect for you. I wouldn't even get into your feelings of being gay until after it is over and done with.