Is it sexual harassment if it was behind my back?

[greystreet]

Hello,

I just wanted to share my story and find out what I should do.

I work in a very small company. There are just three of us, with 2 co-owners who are now with a different company that was sold off (they are still involved in our company). Basically we are a start up. My boss is the owner and CEO of the company I am with and I have one male coworker. My boss is my only supervisor and controls my salary, my advancement, etc.

I have suspected that something weird has been going on for a long time now since they are very secretive behind closed doors. I also noticed that my coworker makes a lot of notes about things I am doing - even down to what I ate for dinner the night before. I found it very strange and decided to do some more digging.

I found out that there have been many emails between my boss and coworker, my boss and outside people and even clients about my character. Some of the emails were from my boss to my coworker asking if he was "hooking up" with me while he was gone, and my coworker responded "Yes" and my boss said he "I knew from the sight of her stomach you were fired up...You owe me one". There was another email from a coworker about making sure to "wear a rubber while he was banging me", etc etc...he also referred to me as not being "the brightest bulb on the tree" to a client of ours. My boss once made a comment to me in person in a joking way about me having my "legs up over my date's shoulders" at the Christmas party, which is not the case. I am in no way involve sexually with my boss or coworker, yet they are talking about me in a sexual matter. They have also made comments about my weight, appearance and my intelligence.

I printed out all these emails and have proof that they happened. I was absolutely devestated when I read these emails, as I thought I was respected at my company. I am still working there because I can't just quit, but I am extremely uncomfortable.

Do I have any rights against my boss and/or coworker? Or am I screwed because it was behind my back?

Thanks in advance.

 

[army judge]

We all have rights.

Can your allegations be proven in a court of law?

Who knows?

You could file a complaint with the EEOC or your state equal opportunity agency.

 

[greystreet]

Thank you.

I think I have enough proof - they were printed out from my boss' email account, showing dates, email addresses, etc. It would be really for me to have fabricated all the emails.

I can't do anything with the EEOC because we only officially have 3 employees, although we were part of a bigger parent company until they got sold...complicated, I know. It's hard to say how many employees we actually have. I don't know if we count our W2 consultants that are working for us. They are technically on our payroll. The EEOC only protects companies with 15 or more employees.

I have retained a lawyer and they have already sent over a letter of representation. They have informed my work that they are investigating a sexual harassment case.

I just worry that my employer is making things as hard as they can for me so I will quit. I would rather them just lay me off so I can collect. I read in an email that they felt I was an "embarassment in the industry" and were planning on letting me go, but they haven't yet.

I feel completely stuck and like I'm going to end up in a losing situation because of something my boss did....I work in a very small industry where everyone knows everyone and my name will now be tarnished.

I want a lawsuit against them....just not sure what my chances are.

 

[cbg]

The problem is the size of the company. (I began this post before I saw your response to the initial answer.)

Under Federal law there must be 15 employees before the anti-harassment laws apply. Under Massachusetts state law, there still must be 6 employees. Your attorney will be able to determine if the consultants qualify; also if there are any municipal or local laws that may help you. But you will not be able to file a lawsuit unless either MCAD or the EEOC (and we've already established that the EEOC is out of it) issues you a right to sue letter.

If you are being sexually harassed, you *may* be able to quit and collect benefits. However, only the DUA can say for certain, and they won't until after you've already quit and filed a claim.

 

[greystreet]

Thanks

Hey, I appreciate the help. I wonder if we actually have more than 15 employees. We definitely have more than 6 if you count the two co-owners, we have someone who does work for us part time on payroll stuff, and then probably 10 consultants on projects.

Let's just say we do have more than 15 employees - my big question is -

*IS* this considered sexual harassment? I mean, it wasn't said TO me, but about me over email.

I am taking it extremely seriously, since it's my boss who did the harassing.

I'm in a very crappy situation. They are also asking me to sign a promissory note to pay back borrowed comissions from the last 6 months. I'm very hesitant to sign it without a lawyer looking it over.

 

[cbg]

Whether it is or not is for MCAD/the EEOC to figure out. If you find it offensive, it is your right under the law to report it. It's THEIR job to determine if harassment has occurred or not.

What does your lawyer say?

 

[army judge]

Lawsuits take an very long time to come to fruition in matters such as these.

It isn't uncommon for plaintiffs to wait for 3-5 years before these issues come to trial.

It often takes the EEOC almost a year before they issue "right to sue" letters.

This is a small company, as you indicate, most likely any award you obtain will also be small.

Then, of course, you'll have to collect.

Whatever happens, will require patience.

This isn't going to be quick or easy.

Follow you lawyer's advice, and be patient.

You might want to leave, as others have suggested.

The next few years, won't be easy for you.

That is, if they don't fire you or lay you off!

 

[greystreet]

Thanks for your help..

Don't worry, I have the patience....I don't think what they did to me was right and if I drop the whole thing, I'm saying I don't care about myself or my reputation.

What if the company goes under? Can they file bankruptcy to avoid having to pay anything? (we are very close to going under as it is).

I don't want to be here for the next few years as it is. It makes me sick to know that they are still probably saying things about me.

It just sucks that my rights aren't protected (potentially) because of the size.

I'm meeting with the lawyer tomorrow night for the first time in person. We'll see what he has to say. He specializes in employment law.

Thanks again

 

[chrisrich]

Sad situation you have here.

Sometimes things are said out of context/public eye that aren't ever meant to harm or harass anyone. Email is a bit different but I assume this was private email?

I would like to know how much counter action the boss would have against you for proving that you are in his private mail? That may be a serious concern. Do you have any evidence outside of the private mail that you could bring to bear in a court of law?

Either way, such a bad situation for you, and would have been much better to have simply found out what needed to be done better and focus on that/prove you've got what the job takes.

 

[greystreet]

I don't think it was out of context that he was asking my coworker if he was having sex with me in the office while he was out and saying "you owe me one"...or someone saying to him "make sure to wear a rubber while you're banging her" and him respond that he "only goes natural with her"...

Yes, it was his work email, and we have no handbook stating that it's against company policy to go into his email (although I'm sure it's assumed).

Why would I want to work somewhere when my boss is talking about me like that?

I didn't do anything wrong or to bring this on!

I do my job very well, and have been very well respected in the industry. Now my name will be tarnished because of their rumors.

I want to nail them to wall, this is not something I take lightly.

 

[chrisrich]

Yes, I think your admission is telling, but I'd love to hear what the pros say about private email as it's a relatively new area.

I was thinking of an ideal situation where you just assumed your boss was a jerk without knowing how bad he was, did a great job that gained you a good rep, and eventually found a better place to work that didn't involve men acting like boys.

Either way there's no doubt you'd be better off working elsewhere.