how do I make my husband pay for child support???

[Hibiscusrain]

I live in Japan and my husband moved back to the states last August. We have a 2 year-old daughter. He wanted to get divorce last year before he moved back to the states, but I refused to turn in divorce paper because there was no promise on how he would pay for child support. Now he already has a girlfriend he met in college and he wants to divorce me so he wrote a letter stating that he will pay child support after he gets a job. and the letter has been notarized. I want to know how legal this letter is and how can I do anything with this letter when he fails to pay child support(most likely it will happen) I live in Japan and he is in Loisiana...

 

[army judge]

I live in Japan and my husband moved back to the states last August. We have a 2 year-old daughter. He wanted to get divorce last year before he moved back to the states, but I refused to turn in divorce paper because there was no promise on how he would pay for child support. Now he already has a girlfriend he met in college and he wants to divorce me so he wrote a letter stating that he will pay child support after he gets a job. and the letter has been notarized. I want to know how legal this letter is and how can I do anything with this letter when he fails to pay child support(most likely it will happen) I live in Japan and he is in Loisiana...

You need to know, that Japan has very poor child support laws.
In general for a very advanced and civilized nation, Japan doesn't do much to protect single parent's (primarily women) and their children.
It is often very hard to enforce child support orders in Japan.
But, it isn't impossible.

The letter is useless, legally, for the moment.
But, hang on to it, because it prove to be of some value, later.
But, there are some solutions.
I need the answer to a few questions, first.
So, please answer them (below) and bear with me.

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You have a big problem.
Is he a US citizen or a Japanese citizen?
Where were you married?
Is a member of the US military?

Are you a Japanese or US citizen?
Where was the child born, in the US, Japan, or somewhere else?

Are you and your husband over the age of 18 years old?

 

[Hibiscusrain]

My husband is US citizen and he was US Marine but got out in 2008. he still has reservists ID which is good until Nov 2011. We met in Okinawa Japan and got married in Japan and our daughter was born in Japan. I'm Japanese but we moved back together to the states in Sep 2008 when he got out of the service, but came back to Japan in Feb 2009. and He decided to move back to the states again to go to college, activated GI bill. and now he is in Loisiana living with his brother, trying to find a job...

 

[army judge]

My husband is US citizen and he was US Marine but got out in 2008. he still has reservists ID which is good until Nov 2011. We met in Okinawa Japan and got married in Japan and our daughter was born in Japan. I'm Japanese but we moved back together to the states in Sep 2008 when he got out of the service, but came back to Japan in Feb 2009. and He decided to move back to the states again to go to college, activated GI bill. and now he is in Loisiana living with his brother, trying to find a job...

You should speak with a Japanese lawyer about a divorce.

The immediate bottom line is that without a court order, your deadbeat husband can't be made to pay you child support.

You might have deliberately been tricked into returning to Japan, so your deadbeat, bum of a husband could get rid of you and your child.

That way, it makes it difficult (if not impossible) for you to obtain a child support order.

Japan has very poor child support enforcement laws.

Do you have a US passport or Green Card?

Does your daughter have a US passport or Green Card?

Could you return to Louisiana and begin divorce proceedings in the US?

Yours is a very, big dilemma.

 

[jharris352]

Army, I'm always amazed that you seem to know laws in several different countries! Australia, Japan, where else?

 

[army judge]

Army, I'm always amazed that you seem to know laws in several different countries! Australia, Japan, where else?

I spent my second to last tour as the defense attache to our embassy in Australia.

I met some very, very bright DOJ lawyers during my tour.

They taught, I learned a lot about laws in that part of the world.

 

[Hibiscusrain]

My daughter has US passport

I have a greencard and my daughter has US & Japanese Passport. If I have to, I will fly to US and start divorce process... My question is do I have to go to Loisiana to get a court order? or can I fly to a different states. reason is that his mom and his step father live in Illinois and I can stay there to start this process. They will help me. They know how mean and abusive my husband was to me and my daughter. He hit our daughter everyday and he often picked up my daughter by the neck when she cried... made her stand against a wall for a long time... etc. even after all this, he still wanted to come back to Japan AGAIN!!! but now he says he loves this new girlfriend he met in college and he wants to be with her. Anyways, I do have a greencard but I was supposed to lift conditional status, so it becomes permanent... but I won't be able to do that anymore since we are getting divorced. could I ask someone else to start this divorce proceedings in US??? Is that possible, so I don't have to fly too many times???

 

[jharris352]

You have to file in the jurisdiction where you live or where he lives. So Louisiana is where you are going to have to file. You can hire an attorney to file for you and limit your travel. It will be well worth your time.

 

[Hibiscusrain]

Notarized Letter my husbad wrote

Hi,

My husband keeps telling me that the letter he wrote stating he will pay child support is everything I need to divorce him. He won't do anything else, and wants me to do everything!! He is the one who wants to divorce me and he is the one who already has a girlfriend, but yet, he is asking me to just drop off divorce paper he signed before he left Japan. I just want to double check that I will not be able to collect child support with that letter he wrote even it is notarized... I am Japanese living in Japan with our daughter and he moved back to the states last August. He was planning to come back to Japan by re-enlisting to the US armed forces, but then I found out about his girlfriend and he is angry and he is not coming back anymore... It is good that he is not coming back but I just want the justice done. I just want to end this the right way...

 

[army judge]

Hi,

My husband keeps telling me that the letter he wrote stating he will pay child support is everything I need to divorce him. He won't do anything else, and wants me to do everything!! He is the one who wants to divorce me and he is the one who already has a girlfriend, but yet, he is asking me to just drop off divorce paper he signed before he left Japan. I just want to double check that I will not be able to collect child support with that letter he wrote even it is notarized... I am Japanese living in Japan with our daughter and he moved back to the states last August. He was planning to come back to Japan by re-enlisting to the US armed forces, but then I found out about his girlfriend and he is angry and he is not coming back anymore... It is good that he is not coming back but I just want the justice done. I just want to end this the right way...

That paper is useless, even here in the USA.

It is worthless in Japan.

You can divorce him in Japan, but child support will be a big problem.

It will be impossible to have it enforced, even if a Japanese court orders it.

You must return to the US to divorce him.

It doesn't have to be Louisiana, but if it isn't, it also makes it very complicated and expensive.

I am so sorry you married that bum and had a child with him.

What he is doing is wrong on so many levels.

All I can suggest is you return to the US and begin a divorce action in Louisiana.

You can serve him the papers, whether he wants to sign or not.

He doesn't have to agree, he's already abandoned you and your child.

You have a great case, but you have to do it in the US!

An attorney in Louisiana can get him to pay for the divorce after it is filed in Louisiana.

He can't be touched by a Japanese court, unless you get him to return to Japan.

He's too smart for that trick, so you have to come to him and trap him!

 

[Hibiscusrain]

Thank you so much

Dear Sir,

Thank you very much for your advise. You don't know how much it's been helping me!!! He emails me all the time and tells me how selfish and childish I am for not talking to him about this and tells me all kinds of things just to hurt my feelings... it's been a nightmare and I can not do this anymore. You have been a great support for me and I really appreciate it. Ok, I understand that this divorce has to be done in the states and that's what I will do. I just can not believe he was able to leave his own daughter when she was only one year old. He says he misses her but I doubt he misses her like I would miss her. There is something very wrong with him and I've been studying on my own why people like him do things that they do... I wnat to understand their mind in hopes that it may bring peace in my heart. I am reading a book called "People of the Lie: The hope for healing human evil" by Scott M. Peck, M.D. and the book has been a great help to me too... Please let me know if you know of any other books that may help me understand people like my husband. I think they need help. But I need to help myself and my daughter first... Thank you very much, Thank you Thank you Thank you!!!

 

[army judge]

Dear Sir,

Thank you very much for your advise. You don't know how much it's been helping me!!! He emails me all the time and tells me how selfish and childish I am for not talking to him about this and tells me all kinds of things just to hurt my feelings... it's been a nightmare and I can not do this anymore. You have been a great support for me and I really appreciate it. Ok, I understand that this divorce has to be done in the states and that's what I will do. I just can not believe he was able to leave his own daughter when she was only one year old. He says he misses her but I doubt he misses her like I would miss her. There is something very wrong with him and I've been studying on my own why people like him do things that they do... I wnat to understand their mind in hopes that it may bring peace in my heart. I am reading a book called "People of the Lie: The hope for healing human evil" by Scott M. Peck, M.D. and the book has been a great help to me too... Please let me know if you know of any other books that may help me understand people like my husband. I think they need help. But I need to help myself and my daughter first... Thank you very much, Thank you Thank you Thank you!!!

You're more than welcome.
It breaks my heart to see people like that creature hurt you and that precious little girl.
There are many good books on why people do what they do.
Here are a couple of useful articles that might shed soem light on this monster!

http://www.softwaresecure.com/pdf/Cheating_Culture_Article_WebMD_4Aug04.pdf

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17951664/ns/health-sexual_health/

http://www.whispy.com/reasons_why_men_women_cheaters_cheat_have_affairs.htm

http://www.cheaternews.com/

http://books.google.com/books?id=CA...6AEwAA#v=onepage&q=why cheaters cheat&f=false

http://books.google.com/books?id=Kd...6AEwAg#v=onepage&q=why cheaters cheat&f=false

After a lifetime of practicing the law, I've come to understand that no one can explain an irrational, heartless act.
I know you want answers.
I hope you find them.

I know that that precious little baby is a victim.
I have four children, two girls and two boys.
Well, they are men and women now.
I could never have abandoned them.

That creature that masquerades as a human being is a heartless monster.
He's a self centered, sociopathic devil.
He only thinks of his needs.
That monster will wander through his evil life hurting women, making babies, and abandoning them.

He'll lie about loving a woman, to have sex with her.
He'll steal her love and abuse her emotions.
He'll never get better, and he'll die oblivious to the pain he has caused.

In his path will be dozens of women and babies that he emotionally destroyed and damaged.
There should be laws against this kind of evil behavior, unfortunately there isn't.
Get this devil exorcised from your life by divorcing him.
Make him support his child.

Don't let him engage you in idle chatter, for that is when he'll get inside your heart, only to hurt you again!
He will never change.
He is the devil incarnate and personified.
He is wicked and evil.
Never, ever, trust that monster again.
Would you believe anything Satan told you?
Then do not believe anything this wicked, evil devil says.
He is lying and only wants to trick you into being his fool.
You are too smart for that any longer.
Do what must be done for you and your child.
Free yourself from his evil clutches and make him help support the child you both brought into this world.