High child support has caused short sale, near bankruptcy

[nykole0408]

Myself, my husband, and our 2 children live in Mississippi. My husband's ex girlfriend lives in Tennessee. His daughter is 6, and he has seen her 3 times. The mother never allowed him to see her, and then took us to court for child support. He was ordered to pay $690.00 a month, plus health insurance. He also has been ordered to supervised visitation in Tennessee. We had to do a short sale on our home to avoid foreclosure, and are living in a 2 bedroom shop that was converted on the inside because we can't afford to pay rent anywhere else. We are barely making it right now- we have to overdraw our checking account to buy groceries. We can't afford to buy our children school supplies. On top of all that he can't see his daughter because he can't afford to drive to Tennessee to see her. We don't even know where they live now or if she is ok. We tried for a modification, and the state of Tennessee denied it.
Is there anything we can do? We are barely able to hang on.

 

[army judge]

Myself, my husband, and our 2 children live in Mississippi. My husband's ex girlfriend lives in Tennessee. His daughter is 6, and he has seen her 3 times. The mother never allowed him to see her, and then took us to court for child support. He was ordered to pay $690.00 a month, plus health insurance. He also has been ordered to supervised visitation in Tennessee. We had to do a short sale on our home to avoid foreclosure, and are living in a 2 bedroom shop that was converted on the inside because we can't afford to pay rent anywhere else. We are barely making it right now- we have to overdraw our checking account to buy groceries. We can't afford to buy our children school supplies. On top of all that he can't see his daughter because he can't afford to drive to Tennessee to see her. We don't even know where they live now or if she is ok. We tried for a modification, and the state of Tennessee denied it.
Is there anything we can do? We are barely able to hang on.

This is a sad story.
Your husband's poor choices seven years ago have come back to haunt and harm you today.
I hear these stories regularly.
I wish I could give you good news.
Nonetheless, I'll be blatantly honest.

Keep trying until you are able to effect the changes you seek.
If you do nothing, nothing changes.

In all fairness, your husband knew about the child.
You knew about the child.
Nevertheless, you and he chose to be together.

You're stuck with his baggage as long as you choose to stay with him.
On the other hand, if you choose to leave him, you don't have to pay the $700 for the care of HIS child.

This is one of the hazards of copulation.
One night of lust, leads to a lifetime (18 years anyway) of payments!

Maybe, just maybe you should leave him.
But, then you're in the same boat as the woman he abandoned in Tennessee, aren't you?
You'd have to support your children alone.

Life is full of choices.
One should choose wisely.
Choices result in consequences.
Some consequences result in $700 per month payments.

 

[nykole0408]

This is a sad story.
Your husband's poor choices seven years ago have come back to haunt and harm you today.
I hear these stories regularly.
I wish I could give you good news.
Nonetheless, I'll be blatantly honest.

Keep trying until you are able to effect the changes you seek.
If you do nothing, nothing changes.

In all fairness, your husband knew about the child.
You knew about the child.
Nevertheless, you and he chose to be together.

You're stuck with his baggage as long as you choose to stay with him.
On the other hand, if you choose to leave him, you don't have to pay the $700 for the care of HIS child.

This is one of the hazards of copulation.
One night of lust, leads to a lifetime (18 years anyway) of payments!

Maybe, just maybe you should leave him.
But, then you're in the same boat as the woman he abandoned in Tennessee, aren't you?
You'd have to support your children alone.

Life is full of choices.
One should choose wisely.
Choices result in consequences.
Some consequences result in $700 per month payments.

I didn't say I minded paying child support for HIS daughter. I don't mind it at all. When the child support is 14% in Mississippi, and is way more in Tennessee, and when he pays out almost half of what he brings in per month, and never gets to see her- I mind that. I didn't come on this site to be judged or to be lectured. I came seeking advice, and not advice to leave my husband. He did not abandon her- he volunteered for a dna test, and paid her child support per their agreement until she took him to court. She pushed him away and then proceeded to have 2 other babies by 2 other men, all before the age of 21. I do not appreciate your comment, nor did I ask for that.
I thought this was supposed to be a forum where you could ask for LEGAL advice, not lectures.

 

[Duranie]

Who was the one that moved? Child support is based off guidelines and when he has more kids he needs to remember he already has a financial obligation to 1. Having more kids doesnt mean he gets to reduce support. Your financial problems are not just because of his child support. He can always work a second job and you can also work if you need income. If you depend on only himn to support 2 households then yes ou are going to be broke.

If you are that broke, you need to get a job outside of your husbands work hours then at least part time. Apply for food stamps. If mom does not allow visits and there is a schedule then he files contempt but if he does nothing, he cannot just blame mom for the lack of relationship with the child. If Dad moved out of TN then he is solely responsible for seeing the child. If mom moved and he waited so long to dispute move, then he is sort of stuck. Sorry there is no easy way around this.

 

[army judge]

I didn't say I minded paying child support for HIS daughter. I don't mind it at all. When the child support is 14% in Mississippi, and is way more in Tennessee, and when he pays out almost half of what he brings in per month, and never gets to see her- I mind that. I didn't come on this site to be judged or to be lectured. I came seeking advice, and not advice to leave my husband. He did not abandon her- he volunteered for a dna test, and paid her child support per their agreement until she took him to court. She pushed him away and then proceeded to have 2 other babies by 2 other men, all before the age of 21. I do not appreciate your comment, nor did I ask for that.
I thought this was supposed to be a forum where you could ask for LEGAL advice, not lectures.

I gave you legal advice.

I guess you'll keep on paying.

She may have had children with other men, he had children with another woman.

So what?



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[nykole0408]

Who was the one that moved? Child support is based off guidelines and when he has more kids he needs to remember he already has a financial obligation to 1. Having more kids doesnt mean he gets to reduce support. Your financial problems are not just because of his child support. He can always work a second job and you can also work if you need income. If you depend on only himn to support 2 households then yes ou are going to be broke.

If you are that broke, you need to get a job outside of your husbands work hours then at least part time. Apply for food stamps. If mom does not allow visits and there is a schedule then he files contempt but if he does nothing, he cannot just blame mom for the lack of relationship with the child. If Dad moved out of TN then he is solely responsible for seeing the child. If mom moved and he waited so long to dispute move, then he is sort of stuck. Sorry there is no easy way around this.

I have a full time job, and he has his full time job. If he gets another job, and she takes him back to court, the support will be raised. I'm not here for pity, I was just wondering if he could take her to court in Mississippi and get it lowered a little. We don't want food stamps, but can't get them anyway because they count gross income before any deductions and we are over the limit.
thanks for the responses but I am deleting this account because this is obviously not what I thought it was.

 

[Duranie]

This website is for legal questions not support. Sorry if you feel otherwise.

Jurisdiction remains where the order was opened. If one parent remains there then that is where it stays otherwise people would be moving all over the country for child support guidelines in their favor.

 

[mscott]

Nykole, Im in a very similiar situation. For some reason this site doesn't allow private emails.

 

[Proserpina]

Nykole, Im in a very similiar situation. For some reason this site doesn't allow private emails.

It does - once you've made a certain number of posts.

You just haven't reached that number yet.

(I believe it's 100?)

 

[mscott]

Ok, thanks : )

 

[Michael Wechsler]

Nykole, Im in a very similiar situation. For some reason this site doesn't allow private emails.

This site hasn't allowed private emails by default because of the unfortunate abuse issue that is rampant in this area. Every day I spend time cleaning out the forums of spammers who are attempting to post links or advertising. I've considered banning entire countries as a result.

Now imagine if I opened up private mailboxing. I'm considering how to enable this in our upcoming new release of the site in August. But the main issue is law firms are outsourcing scavengers to go from place to place to post backlinks and solicit. Every day I'll have people being mercilessly solicited, spammed and the quality of this forum will be filled with junk from people looking to post enough so they can start spamming.

It's a tough situation. For now, I'm going to make it clear that exceptions can be made by just emailing us in support. Until then, I've had a high mailbox count and also turn it on for people who have achieved credibility here, willing to share something with the community, and are clearly not here solely to poach and spam.