Getting temporary custody leading to full

[dnkg]

My husband and I are wanting to try and get custody of his 5 year old son. We did not know about this child until he was 1 1/2 years old. We were married and living in Iowa, as we currently do and mom lives in Illinois. Paternity was established through the courts and child support set up but we never took it for visitation or custody rights at the time because mom was moving to California with her new husband. This was in 2006. She was not in CA for long when she moved back to Illinois and in with another man. Since then we have seen my stepson but not on a regular basis since we live so far away. I would say it's been at least every few months. Mom has had different boyfriends and moved several times in the past couple of years. We just recently began visiting my stepson once a month but still have nothing in the courts. We were just informed today that mom was arrested for driving under the influence of drugs last week and admitted herself into drug rehab and could be there for up to a year. How do we get custody of my stepson while she is in rehab? Will we have to have a lawyer to do so? Once we have temporary custody will he automatically go to mom after she is out of rehab? If we fought for full custody would we have a chance or would not seeing him regularly hurt us? Any advice on how to handle this would be good.

 

[army judge]

He should hire a lawyer.
He does not have to hire a lawyer.
He must educate himself about the custody process in Illinois.
You should be supportive, but stay in the background.
Any parental rights he asserts, are his, not yours.

Illinois has many father's rights support groups.
Here are a few sites of theirs.

http://www.dadsrights.com/

http://www.fathersrights.org/new_page_2.htm

http://www.custodysource.com/il~1.htm

This is some great advice.

§ 750 ILCS 5/602. Best Interest of Child (The Illinois statute, typical of many states)

Sec. 602. Best Interest of Child. (a) The court shall determine custody in accordance with the best interest of the child. The court shall consider all relevant factors including:

(1) the wishes of the child's parent or parents as to his custody;

(2) the wishes of the child as to his custodian;

(3) the interaction and interrelationship of the child with his parent or parents, his siblings and any other person who may significantly affect the child's best interest;

(4) the child's adjustment to his home, school and community;

(5) the mental and physical health of all individuals involved;

(6) the physical violence or threat of physical violence by the child's potential custodian, whether directed against the child or directed against another person;

(7) the occurrence of ongoing abuse as defined in Section 103 of the Illinois Domestic Violence Act of 1986 [750 ILCS 60/103], whether directed against the child or directed against another person; and

(8) the willingness and ability of each parent to facilitate and encourage a close and continuing relationship between the other parent and the child. ........THIS PARAGRAPH OFTEN WILL WIN YOUR CASE!!!!! THE GUIDE TO FATHERS RIGHTS GIVES YOU TACTICS TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF AND PROVE UP THIS FACTOR.

(b) The court shall not consider conduct of a present or proposed custodian that does not affect his relationship to the child.

(c) Unless the court finds the occurrence of ongoing abuse as defined in Section 103 of the Illinois Domestic Violence Act of 1986 [750 ILCS 60/103], the court shall presume that the maximum involvement and cooperation of both parents regarding the physical, mental, moral, and emotional well-being of their child is in the best interest of the child. There shall be no presumption in favor of or against joint custody.

This statute's terms are further defined by case law. Consult the Guide to Fathers Rights and local counsel for application to your case facts.

YOU MUST ADDRESS EVERY LEGAL FACTOR IN YOUR OPENING AND CLOSING ARGUMENTS AND OBJECT TO ANY OTHER IRRELEVANT MATERIAL OR TESTIMONY

Many useful statutes, documents and tactics not available here or elsewhere are found in the "CUSTODY/DIVORCE KIT" available by clicking the link below.

 

[lonelyinny]

we is only mom and dad not stepmom mom and dad

My husband and I are wanting to try and get custody of his 5 year old son. We did not know about this child until he was 1 1/2 years old. We were married and living in Iowa, as we currently do and mom lives in Illinois. Paternity was established through the courts and child support set up but we never took it for visitation or custody rights at the time because mom was moving to California with her new husband. This was in 2006. She was not in CA for long when she moved back to Illinois and in with another man. Since then we have seen my stepson but not on a regular basis since we live so far away. I would say it's been at least every few months. Mom has had different boyfriends and moved several times in the past couple of years. We just recently began visiting my stepson once a month but still have nothing in the courts. We were just informed today that mom was arrested for driving under the influence of drugs last week and admitted herself into drug rehab and could be there for up to a year. How do we get custody of my stepson while she is in rehab? Will we have to have a lawyer to do so? Once we have temporary custody will he automatically go to mom after she is out of rehab? If we fought for full custody would we have a chance or would not seeing him regularly hurt us? Any advice on how to handle this would be good.

you as the stepmom have no custodial rights to your husband's son at all, and no standing to go to court for anything regarding his son. any matters concerning your stepson are between your husband and the child's mother. your involvement will damage dad's case, judges do not like overinvolved stepparents who dont know their place.

 

[dnkg]

I know that I have no rights but I support my husband in all of this, therefore placing a "we" instead of "he." I find it hard that you cannot get past that to answer my questions. So let me rephrase them so maybe you can understand.

Can dad get custody of his child while mom is in drug rehab? If he does, will custody immediately go to mom when she gets out? Can he go pick up his son currently while mom is in rehab or does he have to get a lawyer and go through the courts?

 

[barbie77]

you as the stepmom have no custodial rights to your husband's son at all, and no standing to go to court for anything regarding his son. any matters concerning your stepson are between your husband and the child's mother. your involvement will damage dad's case, judges do not like overinvolved stepparents who dont know their place.

She is only asking our opinion on this case for her husbands benifit. I do not agree that her involvement will damage dad's case. So long as she is not making an issue at court dads case should be completely uneffected by her. She may be an involved stepparent but that does not mean the judge is going to think she is overlyinvolved.

I can say as an involved step parent myself I've backed my husband a lot in his custody battle and was a lot of support for him. I also gathered a lot of information just as this step mom is and it did NOT hurt his case!

I do agree that it is not "we" that are going for custody. The technical is "he" is going for custody and you are his support in the case. Thats fine. You'll hear this sort of "it's none of your business" advice all the time in forums. especially from sertain ppl. As a stepmother if the dad is going for custody and you're married and the child would be living in "your" house then it is "your" business as to wether dad gains custody. People that are not step parents may not understand this concept. If you don't feel like hearing the "but out its none of your concern" then you might also check out the forums for stepmothers on the net. They can be a lot of support! Good luck!!

 

[Proserpina]

She is only asking our opinion on this case for her husbands benifit. I do not agree that her involvement will damage dad's case. So long as she is not making an issue at court dads case should be completely uneffected by her. She may be an involved stepparent but that does not mean the judge is going to think she is overlyinvolved.

I can say as an involved step parent myself I've backed my husband a lot in his custody battle and was a lot of support for him. I also gathered a lot of information just as this step mom is and it did NOT hurt his case!

I do agree that it is not "we" that are going for custody. The technical is "he" is going for custody and you are his support in the case. Thats fine. You'll hear this sort of "it's none of your business" advice all the time in forums. especially from sertain ppl. As a stepmother if the dad is going for custody and you're married and the child would be living in "your" house then it is "your" business as to wether dad gains custody. People that are not step parents may not understand this concept. If you don't feel like hearing the "but out its none of your concern" then you might also check out the forums for stepmothers on the net. They can be a lot of support! Good luck!!

Barbie, at the risk of invoking the wrath of the mods here...please check lonelyinny's post history.

 

[barbie77]

I know that I have no rights but I support my husband in all of this, therefore placing a "we" instead of "he." I find it hard that you cannot get past that to answer my questions. So let me rephrase them so maybe you can understand.

Can dad get custody of his child while mom is in drug rehab? If he does, will custody immediately go to mom when she gets out? Can he go pick up his son currently while mom is in rehab or does he have to get a lawyer and go through the courts?

I would say dad should have a very good chance at getting custody while mom is in rehab. If mom is going to be in rehab for possibly a year someone will have to have custody of the child durring this time period yknow. Where is the child staying right now while mom is in rehab? I'm not sure what would happen if Dad just came and picked kiddo up. If its possible and the person that has kiddo now doesn't have a problem with it then thats a possible idea. It never hurts to have an attorney if it's possible. Dad might be able to suggest that if mom does try for custody after rehab that she should be tested regularly to make sure she's still clean. Don't know if it's possible but it's an idea. I'm not sure what would happen for mom with the custody case but if dad files for custody and mom doesn't show at court them I would think it would be a hard fight to get custody. good luck!!

 

[barbie77]

Barbie, at the risk of invoking the wrath of the mods here...please check lonelyinny's post history.

Thanks pro! I've seen the post history. I just wanted to let dnkg know that she is not in the wrong here for asking advice. She may not know Lonelynny's post history. I know I would have loved it if back when I first asked a question as a stepmom and got Lynny type resonses if someone would have let me know that it was ok to be asking advice for the hubby.

Hopefully the mod.s don't have a prob. with what I said in response to lonelyinny. I don't believe I was disrespectful or didn't back up what I said with advice. who knows....

 

[ndnboyrey]

...

yes. i recently just got full custody of my child. My childs mother just up and left one week and i heard she was suppose to check her self into rehab. so i went and filed Emergency Custody and was granted following another court date. the next court date was about a month later. my childs mother was still in rehab so when i went to the court the judge granted me full custody. becasue i had him the whole time. but she may come and file back after she gets released. but atleast i know we will have joint custody because no judge will just take his child from a father that has been there while no one was. the judge also mentioned if she can not follow visitations in giving my son later they will grant me full becuase the parent that can conduct the trasfer of child with no problem will get custody

 

[Proserpina]

yes. i recently just got full custody of my child. My childs mother just up and left one week and i heard she was suppose to check her self into rehab. so i went and filed Emergency Custody and was granted following another court date. the next court date was about a month later. my childs mother was still in rehab so when i went to the court the judge granted me full custody. becasue i had him the whole time. but she may come and file back after she gets released. but atleast i know we will have joint custody because no judge will just take his child from a father that has been there while no one was. the judge also mentioned if she can not follow visitations in giving my son later they will grant me full becuase the parent that can conduct the trasfer of child with no problem will get custody

Please don't hijack old threads - if you have a legal question, please start your own thread.