fathers rights after birth of child

[cgw1979]

I am currently 24 weeks pregnant. The father and I have been together 2 years. We were living in south dakota but had to come here for court for his sons child support hearing against his mom. I found out I was pregnant and could not travel back. He has changed his opinion on me raising this baby myself several times. He has offered no monetary support throughout the pregnancy, left me stranded with no vehicle, has seen me once since the pregnancy began, and has told me to make plans to stay here in Alabama and raise the baby and he would get visitation from south dakota. I was wondering due to his mood swings, anger issues, depression, abandonment, financial abandonment, and disinterest, is he still entitled to 50/50 rights and equal visitation? I dont know if he can pay child supoort either because he hasnt been able to send any financial support throughout the pregnancy. any ideas would be greatly appreciated.

 

[army judge]

I am currently 24 weeks pregnant. The father and I have been together 2 years. We were living in south dakota but had to come here for court for his sons child support hearing against his mom. I found out I was pregnant and could not travel back. He has changed his opinion on me raising this baby myself several times. He has offered no monetary support throughout the pregnancy, left me stranded with no vehicle, has seen me once since the pregnancy began, and has told me to make plans to stay here and raise the baby and he would get visitation from south dakota. I was wondering due to his mood swings, anger issues, depression, abandonment, financial abandonment, and disinterest, is he still entitled to 50/50 rights and equal visitation? I dont know if he can pay child supoort either because he hasnt been able to send any financial support throughout the pregnancy. any ideas would be greatly appreciated.

First of all, congratulations on becoming a mommy.

I hope and pray you'll be blessed with a healthy, happy baby.

Ma'am, he isn't paying child support for his other children.

He has lied or misled you on more than one occasion.

He has OTHER issues, that you noted in your posts.

He's done NOTHING for you throughout your pregnancy.

Okay, ma'am, here's what we do know.

You are the mother.

You and the male aren't married.

Your child will have no legal father until and unless, the male's paternity is established.

You on the other hand, have already established your legal maternity by virtue of your pregnancy and soon to be delivery!

As you BOTH are now living in Alabama, your prior state of residency no longer matters.

Your child will be born in Alabama.

The male has to establish paternity in Alabama.

I suspect another TRICK in his answer to you, don't you?

Here is how paternity is established in Alabama.

Whatever you decide to do, you'll have to wait until the baby arrives to formalize and legalize your choice.

You should speak with him about the options available to yopu for your child.

Then you'll have to wait another couple of months to see if he will be a man of his word.

I wish you and your child the best.

Establishing paternity gives a child born outside of marriage the same legal rights as a child born to married parents. Children with legal fathers are entitled to benefits through their fathers that may include Social Security benefits, veteran's benefits and inheritance rights. Children may also benefit by knowing their biological family';s cultural and medical history. Either parent may take action to legally establish paternity. The process may begin at any time, until the child attains the age of majority. In Alabama, the age of majority is 19.

When a married couple has a child, the law automatically recognizes the husband as the father. When an unmarried woman has a child, an official act is needed to establish the legal father of the child. This is called establishing paternity. Sometimes a parent may want proof that the man is the biological father of the child. In that case, a genetic test will be used to show that either the man is not the biological father (he is excluded), or, that there is an extremely high probability that the man is the father of the child. The results of a genetic test are then used by the court as evidence of parentage. A court order will then be issued establishing paternity.

The State of Alabama will use these three possible types of processes to establish paternity:​

1. Uncontested consent process:
This process requires both the mother and the alleged father to agree that the alleged father is the biological father of the minor child. The parties can do this by completing an Acknowledgment of Paternity either through the in-hospital process before leaving the birthing hospital or at a later time.

* Acknowledgment of Paternity
This acknowledgment, if properly signed and notarized, creates a legal finding of paternity under Alabama law. It is a legally sufficient basis for establishing an obligation for child support and birth expenses. This form can be completed anytime after the child's birth and before the child's nineteenth birthday. This form can be obtained at any county DHR office.

* In-Hospital Paternity
All birthing hospitals must allow unmarried mothers and alleged fathers the opportunity to sign an acknowledgment of paternity at the time of their child's birth.

2. Administrative process:
This process gives the Department of Human Resources the authority to administratively order genetic testing. In most cases, this eliminates the need to involve the court in genetic testing. However, the court must issue an order establishing paternity and support.

3. Contested judicial process:
The contested judicial process is used when the alleged father refuses to acknowledge paternity or when the alleged father and/or mother refuse to cooperate with administrative genetic testing.

http://www.dhr.state.al.us/page.asp?pageid=421

 

[cgw1979]

I am currently in Alabama, he is currently in South Dakota. He has joint custody of his son with the mother getting visitation. That is why I am wondering with the abandonment of me what all rights does he have and what process does he or i have to go through after paternity is established?

 

[cgw1979]

The father is in South dakota, I am in Alabama. He has custody of his son, the mother has visitation. Still wondering after paternity is filed, what kind of visitation he is entitled to due to the abandonment, financial abandoment, and disinterest in the unborn child?Sorry i posted twice. still new to this and dont know how to delete it

 

[army judge]

I am currently in Alabama, he is currently in South Dakota. He has joint custody of his son with the mother getting visitation. That is why I am wondering with the abandonment of me what all rights does he have and what process does he or i have to go through after paternity is established?

Until he signs the acknowledgment of paternity form (described above), or a DNA test is done (and proves him to be the father of your child); he has NO rights, as regards YOUR child.

Please read the information I gave you above.

It doesn't matter where he is, he has no rights until he acknowledges and accepts his fatherhood, or a DNA test proves him to be YOUR baby's father.

The law considers him to be a LEGAL STRANGER insofar as YOUR child is concerned.

He can make no parenting decisions for your child, has no custody rights in your child, and is not required to pay child support for your child.

I suggest you speak with Alabama social services about how you should proceed, seeing as how he's abandoned you.

Social services can help you with pre-natal care, WIC, food stamps, housing, and even provide you money to use for other living expenses.

Here is their website.

You should contact them tomorrow, and get started with food stamps, housing, WIC, and medical care!

Family Assistance Program​

Programs of the Family Assistance Division include benefits and services so as to encourage the care of children in their own homes or in the homes of relatives. Services/benefits to eligible families include:

* temporary cash payments
* work and job training services
* child care assistance for parents engaged in work and training activities

The Family Assistance Program provides financial assistance to meet basic needs for families with a dependent child under age 18 or age 19 if s/he is a full time student in a secondary school or in the equivalent level of vocational or technical training and whose income and resources do not exceed established agency standards.


How to Apply

1. Call your local county health department.
2. Call toll-free at 1-888-942-4673 for the agency closest to you.
To qualify, you must

* meet income requirements
* be a resident of Alabama
* be seen by a health professional at the WIC clinic.

If you think you may qualify, please call the County Health Department to make an appointment.
At the WIC appointment, you will need to bring:

* proof of residency (a document with your street address on it, such as a lease or bill)
* proof of identity (a driver's license)
* proof of income (pay stubs OR you would be automatically income eligible if you are currently enrolled in TANF, Food Stamps or Medicaid, so bring proof of enrollment)

At the appointment once the above is documented, you will be evaluated for a nutritional risk which is the other main qualifying factor in determining benefit eligibility for pregnant, postpartum, breastfeeding women, infants and children under 5.

Please call 1-888-942-4673 to obtain further information.



Public Assistance Contact Information Phone Number: (334) 242-1950




http://www.dhr.state.al.us/page.asp?pageid=357

http://www.dhr.state.al.us/page.asp?pageid=359

http://www.adph.org/wic/Default.asp?id=611

 

[cgw1979]

I will wait for that to happen then and see what DHR states in regards to the matter. I have already contacted social services and got on certain programs. thank you for your advice.

 

[army judge]

I will wait for that to happen then and see what DHR states in regards to the matter. I have already contacted social services and got on certain programs. thank you for your advice.

You're welcome.

When I see what some people do to other people, it breaks my heart.

I hate it that he's done this to you and your precious baby.

Please, hang in there.

You didn't ask, but I'll say it, you and your baby might be better off without a bum like him in your lives.

One last question.

You guys were in SD.

Was he (or is he) in the military?

 

[cgw1979]

No. his mother was up there and then they quit talking. my family is down here. I dont want him completely out of the childs life but I was hoping for sole custody with supervised visitation because of his mood swings, depression, and anger issues. do you think that might be a possibility? He was military, dischrged honorably on parenthood because his first wife threatened to put his son in foster care. He has ptsd and is being treated for depression and insomnia right now

 

[army judge]

No. his mother was up there and then they quit talking. my family is down here. I dont want him completely out of the childs life but I was hoping for sole custody with supervised visitation because of his mood swings, depression, and anger issues. do you think that might be a possibility? He was military, dischrged honorably on parenthood because his first wife threatened to put his son in foster care. He has ptsd and is being treated for depression and insomnia right now

You are the ONLY one that can decide what is best for your child.

If it were my decision, I'd never have said hello to a bum like that.

You, unfortunately, made a baby with him.

He's now abandoned you.

He's done nothing for you during this pregnancy.

What makes you think he will do better when the child arrives?

He'll just disappoint the child like he's done you.

If I were you, I'd speak to someone at social services about your next steps.

They might even get you a counselor to help you make your decision.

Whatever you decide, I wish you well.

 

[Duranie]

You can file for child support and to establish paternity after the child is born. Dad does not have to send you any money until the court tells him to and paternity is established. Legally it is not really abandonment. You need to figute out how you are going to support the child on your own as it will be at least several months before you see any $$. Also if Dad is so supposedly unfit how did he get custody of his other child?

It is up to you on where you want to live if you choose to stay in AL then you file there and it will be Dad's responsibility to arrange visitation with the child. Since the baby will be a newborn and you live out of state, Dad's visits will probably be supervised anyways.

 

[cgw1979]

I am not looking for money or child support. He got custody of his son because that mother has five children that were put into foster care because of her neglect charges. His son is her sixth child. I will be staying where I am in Alabama because he does not want me to return to South Dakota. I do appreciate the advice on the visitation.

 

[army judge]

I am not looking for money or child support. He got custody of his son because that mother has five children that were put into foster care because of her neglect charges. His son is her sixth child. I will be staying where I am in Alabama because he does not want me to return to South Dakota. I do appreciate the advice on the visitation.

If you don't want support, then you might want to think about NOT bringing a paternity action.

Sometimes it's better to keep a bum out of your life.

You have almost 2,000 miles between the two of you, thank God.

 

[cgw1979]

i wasnt going to unless he pursues it. Thank you again for all of the advice.

 

[army judge]

i wasnt going to unless he pursues it. Thank you again for all of the advice.

Good for you.
I wish you much luck and success.
The male will forever be a legal stranger to this child, UNLESS he establishes paternity.
Until and unless he does that, he has no rights to even see your child.
Without a court order, you can simply shoo him away, should he ever appear on your doorstep.
You would be wise to break off all communication with this creature, too.
You've seen him in action lying to you, abusing you, and breaking every promise he ever made.
Don't dance with the devil, you'll get hurt!
If he refuses to leave, call the police.
They'll be happy to remove him.

 

[Duranie]

As long as you do not go on any sort of government assistance you do not have to file for support or paternity.

 

[cgw1979]

i have one more question. If he still has my personal property in South Dakota and we have stuff in a storage unit and he has my vehicle, can I send a certified mailed letter requesting him to return my personal property since i have not heard from him since june 14th?

 

[army judge]

i have one more question. If he still has my personal property in South Dakota and we have stuff in a storage unit and he has my vehicle, can I send a certified mailed letter requesting him to return my personal property since i have not heard from him since june 14th?

I doubt that he would respond appropriately to anything you do or say.

You might be forced to forget about your stuff.

If rent hasn't been paid on the storage unit, the owner can legally move to sell your stuff for back rent.

Contact the storage unit and see what they have to say.

You could file theft charges for your car. If he has no permission to be using it. If you let him use your car, it's a civil matter. To get your car back, means you'll have to go back to SD. Do you think that bum is going to suddenly behave responsibly? I don't know him, but I know his kind. They rarely change.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[cgw1979]

Thanks again for your advice. Too bad I couldnt get you to be my attorney in this matter if it goes that far. Thanks again! I guess I will try to find a good one here in tuscaloosa, al if i need one. thank you!

 

[cgw1979]

I sent a certified letter in regards to him delivering my personal stuff with no response. I also sent an email in regards to if he wanted to be a part of his daughters life with no response. I am going to file small claim against my personal belongings and follow the advice that everyone suggested. Thanks again for all the advice and I am trying to start law school in January 2011 right after she is born.Thank you agian for all the advice!