S
Seattle Guest
Guest
My mother in law's husband (not my husband's father) filed for divorce several months ago. We've been watching their relationship unravel for the past few years and he told her about a year prior to actually leaving that he planned to divorce her, as soon as he was employed again. Well, he never became gainfully employed and is still not. What finally catalyzed him leaving was a screaming match between the two that escalated into him pressing her up against the counter, after which she poked, struck or stabbed him (not sure how hard the impact was) with a kitchen utensil. She claims she thought he was going to kill her and was acting in self-defense. The kitchen utensil left a wound and he called the police. Even though he is obese and about twice her size, the law enforcement officers faulted her with being responsible for the incident. When my spouse arrived at her house after this occurred, he spoke with the police officers and they told him that her husband wasn't going to press charges, but if he had decided to press charges, she would have been the one getting arrested. As far as I know, there have been prior incidents of bickering and screaming going on for quite some time, but never a physical altercation until this final incident.
When they first got married about 15 years ago, they were both gainfully employed, making similar salaries, and they bought a home together (she paid most of the down payment). But then the recession hit and they were both laid off and both haven't worked since. I'm not sure if he's lazy or entitled, but he refuses to accept a new position that isn't within his customary occupation that pays what he was making before. His parents have been paying their mortgage for the last few years. The reason she hasn't worked since is due to her worsening physical and mental health (fibromyalgia, a slow healing broken leg, memory issues from a head injury are the major three of many conditions). She applied for SSDI and was awarded a modest monthly disbursement around age 63 of $1600 gross. His parents (very kind and generous people) have been continuing to pay their mortgage after he took off to keep the home from going into foreclosure, but I think their kindness and generosity is about to run out. She sent them a very angry and mean email and cc'd us all on it - it sounds like she's under the impression that they're morally obligated to support her for the rest of her days because of their son.
Her memory issues make her behavior erratic at times and we've been listening to her berate and criticize her husband for years. She's very difficult to be around for more an afternoon as she dominates the conservation, snaps at people if they interrupt her, criticizes everyone around her, etc. She has told us that she can't help her behavior and that's it's entirely due to her memory issues. Since she used to be an RN - she "knows best" and can't be told otherwise.
Their only assets are the house, they're in agreement that it should be sold and proceeds from the sale after the 1st/2nd mortgage are paid off will be around $200K.
In the initial divorce papers that he filed he was seeking half the house AND he was asking for spousal support, when initially told her that she could have the house and he'd leave with their sole vehicle that is probably worth less than $1000. Her bank account is about empty. Neither of them have savings, pensions, or any other retirement accounts.
She's been trying to find a pro bono lawyer considering she is elderly, disabled, and low-income, but has not been successful. Since she can be so difficult, I would imagine that's been contributing to this unsuccessful search, especially since pro bono representation is almost impossible to find in the first place. She doesn't have the money to hire a lawyer, we don't have the money to hire a lawyer, and neither do any of her other children or family members.
What she is asking for in the divorce is spousal support and all of the proceeds from the home sale. Even if the judge awards her spousal support, I think it would impossible to enforce as he's most likely never going to work again and just mooch off his parents and friends. He doesn't any property, so it's couldn't be enforced via a lean. I don't think his parents would continue to bail him out long term. If they did, could the OSE do a bank hit on his bank account to enforce the possible spousal support?
From what I've read, if the judge decided that she was required to pay him spousal support, her SSDI benefits could be garnished, correct?
Another concern is that if she's behaving erraticly in the court room, the judge may order Adult Protective Services to intervene.
My husband is going to have a sit down about getting Power of Attorney before her final hearing in September. I'm hoping she'll at least be receptive to the idea, agree and not be resistant.
If she goes to her final court hearing without representation, what are the odds of her getting through all this with anything leftover?
What a mess!!!
When they first got married about 15 years ago, they were both gainfully employed, making similar salaries, and they bought a home together (she paid most of the down payment). But then the recession hit and they were both laid off and both haven't worked since. I'm not sure if he's lazy or entitled, but he refuses to accept a new position that isn't within his customary occupation that pays what he was making before. His parents have been paying their mortgage for the last few years. The reason she hasn't worked since is due to her worsening physical and mental health (fibromyalgia, a slow healing broken leg, memory issues from a head injury are the major three of many conditions). She applied for SSDI and was awarded a modest monthly disbursement around age 63 of $1600 gross. His parents (very kind and generous people) have been continuing to pay their mortgage after he took off to keep the home from going into foreclosure, but I think their kindness and generosity is about to run out. She sent them a very angry and mean email and cc'd us all on it - it sounds like she's under the impression that they're morally obligated to support her for the rest of her days because of their son.
Her memory issues make her behavior erratic at times and we've been listening to her berate and criticize her husband for years. She's very difficult to be around for more an afternoon as she dominates the conservation, snaps at people if they interrupt her, criticizes everyone around her, etc. She has told us that she can't help her behavior and that's it's entirely due to her memory issues. Since she used to be an RN - she "knows best" and can't be told otherwise.
Their only assets are the house, they're in agreement that it should be sold and proceeds from the sale after the 1st/2nd mortgage are paid off will be around $200K.
In the initial divorce papers that he filed he was seeking half the house AND he was asking for spousal support, when initially told her that she could have the house and he'd leave with their sole vehicle that is probably worth less than $1000. Her bank account is about empty. Neither of them have savings, pensions, or any other retirement accounts.
She's been trying to find a pro bono lawyer considering she is elderly, disabled, and low-income, but has not been successful. Since she can be so difficult, I would imagine that's been contributing to this unsuccessful search, especially since pro bono representation is almost impossible to find in the first place. She doesn't have the money to hire a lawyer, we don't have the money to hire a lawyer, and neither do any of her other children or family members.
What she is asking for in the divorce is spousal support and all of the proceeds from the home sale. Even if the judge awards her spousal support, I think it would impossible to enforce as he's most likely never going to work again and just mooch off his parents and friends. He doesn't any property, so it's couldn't be enforced via a lean. I don't think his parents would continue to bail him out long term. If they did, could the OSE do a bank hit on his bank account to enforce the possible spousal support?
From what I've read, if the judge decided that she was required to pay him spousal support, her SSDI benefits could be garnished, correct?
Another concern is that if she's behaving erraticly in the court room, the judge may order Adult Protective Services to intervene.
My husband is going to have a sit down about getting Power of Attorney before her final hearing in September. I'm hoping she'll at least be receptive to the idea, agree and not be resistant.
If she goes to her final court hearing without representation, what are the odds of her getting through all this with anything leftover?
What a mess!!!
