Divorcing after 28 years

K

Kerrilyn6

New Member
Jurisdiction
Florida
I have been married for 28 years a stay-at-home mom for 25 years of it. He was active duty Air Force for 25 years of the marriage. I filed for divorce in February of this year because I cannot deal with a controlling anymore. Well he luckily is continuing to pay the bills at the moment he will not give me any money for an attorney and I cannot find one to take and be paid later because he is continuing to pay the bills. He is unemployed right now I Believe by choice to use as a way to stop me from doing this so there is no money for child support. He has two Associates and a bachelor's degree and I believe would be able to find a job between those and the 25 years active duty fairly easy. I guess the question is with no documented income for him right now is there going to be any chance for child support and/or any chance of him being responsible for maintaining the van payment that I am driving, or being financially responsible for anything. I have since found a very part time job that works around the two kids left at home schedule but nothing that is going to be able to pay the bills and keep us in a house with a vehicle to drive
 
Well, if he is unemployed and you are barely employed, there just isn't going to be a lot of money period. I am not sure why you assume he could find a job easily; this often takes months. He will be responsible for some amount of child support. Anything beyond that is a toss up.
 
ElleMD said:
Well, if he is unemployed and you are barely employed, there just isn't going to be a lot of money period. I am not sure why you assume he could find a job easily; this often takes months. He will be responsible for some amount of child support. Anything beyond that is a toss up.
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He has income coming in I'm just not sure from where. It isn't recent he is unemployed. We have been living this way for 3 years he has turned down two 6 + figure jobs because they were out of country and has been offered other that is why I am assuming it would be easy for him to find a job me on the other hand has no degrees or no work experience because the money was used to put him through college he has turned down to 6 plus figure jobs because they were out of country and has been offered other that is why I am assuming it would be easy for him to find a job me on the other hand has no degrees or no work experience because the money was used to put him through college and to focus on him
 
Anything is possible but I would have a hard time seeing a judge hold it against him that he turned down jobs which would take him out of the same country where his child resided. Even if he were making 6 figures, the child support alone may not pay for the house, car, and kids. The longer someone is out of work, the more difficult it is to find work. Sad, but true. When you divorce, you will need to somehow divide the assets from the marriage, and the debts/liabilities. Some amount will go toward child support for children under 18, and it is possible, some amount might be ordered for spousal support. Typically that is for a limited amount of time and is not a given, particularly if funds are tight and you are employed/capable of being employed. Bottom line, I would make sure I could cover my own living expenses. You do not mention how old the children are but if you became a SAHM 25 years ago, at least one is no longer a minor and I'm guessing the others are at least teenagers.
 
I have two left at home. I have a total of 5. The two at home are 9 and 14
ElleMD said:
Anything is possible but I would have a hard time seeing a judge hold it against him that he turned down jobs which would take him out of the same country where his child resided. Even if he were making 6 figures, the child support alone may not pay for the house, car, and kids. The longer someone is out of work, the more difficult it is to find work. Sad, but true. When you divorce, you will need to somehow divide the assets from the marriage, and the debts/liabilities. Some amount will go toward child support for children under 18, and it is possible, some amount might be ordered for spousal support. Typically that is for a limited amount of time and is not a given, particularly if funds are tight and you are employed/capable of being employed. Bottom line, I would make sure I could cover my own living expenses. You do not mention how old the children are but if you became a SAHM 25 years ago, at least one is no longer a minor and I'm guessing the others are at least teenagers.
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Kerrilyn6 said:
I have been married for 28 years a stay-at-home mom for 25 years of it. He was active duty Air Force for 25 years of the marriage. I filed for divorce in February of this year because I cannot deal with a controlling anymore. Well he luckily is continuing to pay the bills at the moment he will not give me any money for an attorney and I cannot find one to take and be paid later because he is continuing to pay the bills. He is unemployed right now I Believe by choice to use as a way to stop me from doing this so there is no money for child support. He has two Associates and a bachelor's degree and I believe would be able to find a job between those and the 25 years active duty fairly easy. I guess the question is with no documented income for him right now is there going to be any chance for child support and/or any chance of him being responsible for maintaining the van payment that I am driving, or being financially responsible for anything. I have since found a very part time job that works around the two kids left at home schedule but nothing that is going to be able to pay the bills and keep us in a house with a vehicle to drive
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If he's a 25 year Air Force veteran, and honorably retired, there's mucho dinero available for you.

By the way, he's being paid monthly.
You can find out by searching for military retirement pay, online.
I hope you have a DoD ID Card. You're eligible, if you're legally married.

You're automatically eligible to receive 50%, as in 1/2 of his retirement pay.

If he's receiving $3,000 a month in retirement pay, you'll receive $1,500 of that $3,000. That leaves him with $1,500.

If he's receiving $5,000, you'll get $2,500. No, ifs, ands, or buts. If you were married during the entire 25 years he served, or at least 10 of those years, 50%.

I suggest you keep looking for lawyers.

You get the right lawyer, he or she will know what to do.

Plus, you'll have Tri-Care for life, unless you foolishly remarry.
There are exceptions, don't worry about that now. Your minor children are eligible for continued Tri-Care, too. All of you will retain your DoD ID cards, too.
 
army judge said:
If he's a 25 year Air Force veteran, and honorably retired, there's mucho dinero available for you.

By the way, he's being paid monthly.
You can find out by searching for military retirement pay, online.
I hope you have a DoD ID Card. You're eligible, if you're legally married.

You're automatically eligible to receive 50%, as in 1/2 of his retirement pay.

If he's receiving $3,000 a month in retirement pay, you'll receive $1,500 of that $3,000. That leaves him with $1,500.

If he's receiving $5,000, you'll get $2,500. No, ifs, ands, or buts. If you were married during the entire 25 years he served, or at least 10 of those years, 50%.

I suggest you keep looking for lawyers.

You get the right lawyer, he or she will know what to do.

Plus, you'll have Tri-Care for life, unless you foolishly remarry.
There are exceptions, don't worry about that now. Your minor children are eligible for continued Tri-Care, too. All of you will retain your DoD ID cards, too.
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Thank you. I did find out after making some calls that I am entitled to 1/2 his retirement. That helps. And there will be no remarryING anyone ever lol
 

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