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Daughter bullied for being black in an all white school

Discussion in 'Juvenile Crime, Law & Court' started by Ecmont4413, Jun 21, 2016.

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  1. Ecmont4413

    Ecmont4413 Law Topic Starter New Member

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    To make a long story short. My kids had been military children for the majority of THIER lives. My husband had one more year to retire so we decided to buy our dream home close to family out in the country. Upon our arrival my kids had to endure racist comments. Ex. The best place for black people is hanging from a tree branch. Black people only eat fried chicken. Chanting in the school hall ways... White power, Black power. Every incident was reported and the kids was punished but they ( the principal) could never tell us what punishment was set. Shortly upon my husbands 20th year mark to retire he called me up one day and told me there was a special assignment for him in Hawaii and if I wanted him to take it. After dealing with my kids being bullied I was more than happy to get away for four yrs in Hawaii. We rented our home and moved to Hawaii. My children were happy again and the little sparkle in THIER eyes was back as well. Upon my husbands 24 yrs in service we moved back to our home in Michigan. Upon arrival the sparkle in my girls eyes were no longer there. Instead of having four kids in school I only had two. Due to the continuous racial slurs my 15 yrs old started cutting herself and developed an eating disorder because she felt like if she could be skinny like the popular song girls all of the hate towards the color of her skin would diminish. I ended up with an emotionally wrecked kid who was now seeking counseling and never wanted to go back to school. I never let her go back and she got better and graduated school one year sooner then her peers. Now as for my 12 yr old who is now 15 she has tough skin and I thought that her way of dealing with these racial slurs was just to block it all out but I was totally wrong. Roughly two months ago on the bus she secretly recorded a kid chanting white power, white power (by the way the kid is Mexican) and has a pretty long rap sheet with the school. He was given 10 day suspension. Things kind of quieted down until a girl approached my daughter in anger because her friend was suspended. During the class the girl said "white power" to my daughter and laughed about it. Mind you my daughter always tries to sit close to her teacher hoping that for once the teacher hears these racial slurs but of course the teachers never hear anything so it's basically my daughters word against the bully. Some of the kids approached my daughter to let her know that this one girl was going to chant "White Power and even say Black power just to piss my daughter and further humiliate her. Mind you this had been going on for three years. Three yrs of black jokes. Three years of saying racial slurs. Three years of bullying. The military had taught the kids to stand up for kids that are bullied. Once the bell rung and the girl said her white power, black power out loud my daughter saw her by her locker and snapped. She walked up to the girl, yanked her by her hair and began punching her with all her might. I was completely disgusted by the video the principal showed me of the fight. The principal said that he could have expelled my daughter do to the brutality of the fight but due to the circumstances he was giving her a 10 day suspension. He would not disclose the other girls punishment but the kids said she was back after one day suspension. One fricken day for yelling white power and black power. My daughter was devastated. She has always been a good kid. She has a clean record. She has never faught anyone but because of her emotional state she reached her boiling point. I would also like to add in last year someone spray painted the N word on my garage doors. We have a small country store 2 minutes from my house and a complete stranger told my daughter who was just buying a soda pop that she was in the wrong part of town. Police were notified on both incidents and spoke to this grown ass man to never speak to my children ever again. After the fight the girl was sent to the hospital for scratches and abrasions and the mother wanted to file criminal charges against my daughter for giving her a concussion. The DA quickly told the parents that they could file aggravated assault charges because the medical records provided by the mother never mentioned anything about a concussion. She was pissed. So the girls boy friend sends a text message to my daughter calling her the N word and threatened her to watch her back because he had some of his people coming to beat her ass. The school was concerned about my daughter returning that the principal attempted to pursuance us that it would be a good idea if my daughter went back to school after her 10 day suspension. I informed him that the school failed my child and there was no way in hell would I punish my daughter and keep her out the last three weeks of school. I was hesitant and worried but I didn't want to take away her time spent with her real friends. Once the investigation was concluded a sat down with the DA and she not only wants me to press charges on the kid from the bus who chanted white power ( we have the audio recording) she also wants us to press charges on the girls boy friend for his threatening text message. My question is what about the girl? No one has mentioned filing charges on her for the racial slurs that led up to the fight. I know that I wrote a novel but I needed to get everything out so that you could get a better picture of what went on. I just recieved our court date for Aug. 15 and they have the charges for my daughter as being assault and battery. I know that's she is 15 and any judge who see's what happened should dismiss the charges. The DA told me how upset and disappointed regarding how the school dealt with many of the racially motivated incidents that have occurred in this one school. She vowed to speak to the super intendent regarding these issues. I had mentioned possibly getting the NAACP but the school was adamant that they had everything under control. I have a few friends that told me to talk to the NAACP and to even call my local news media. I don't like drama nor do I enjoy pissen people off. My husband and I are disabled veterans who just want this nightmare to end. Im not looking forward to possibly ruining these kids life. Unfortunately the guy who threaten my daughter is 17 and will be tried as an adult being that in Michigan you are considered an adult if your 17 and the other kid is looking at being expelled from ALL schools. This does not sit well with me but I have to show my kids that sometimes in life you have to stand up to these bullies. I don't want my kids to live in fear or let them think that it's ok to bully against anyone of color, religion, sexual orientation and nationality. My kids have the best of many worlds. They are Puerto Rican, Black and white. They love everyone regardless how you look. I would appreciate any advice that you can share with me. Thanks in advance! God Bless!
     
  2. army judge

    army judge Super Moderator

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    I suggest you avoid advising any child, most adults too, to take the law into their own hands.

    As far as a juvenile court charge (1st offense) against a kid doing well in school, nothing to worry about there.

    Enroll the kid in an anger management class, see that she receive counseling from a child psychologist (Tricare can recommend some, or ask your family physician), and the juvie court matter will simply be washed away. To make sure it happens, ask that your child, dad, and mom all be appointed taxpayer funded lawyers.

    As far as what other people do, it's best to ignore them. If you don't, you'll spend your life in constant disappointment. Your other option might be to investigate home schooling. There are many good home school organizations, start looking into them.

    The kids won't change, and your daughter isn't going to suddenly behave as a 40, 50, or 60 year old adult would. It's sad that's your best option, but protecting your child is your main priority.
     
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  3. ElleMD

    ElleMD Well-Known Member

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    I am not sure what you want to happen here. Kids taunt and every time they do and it is reported to an administrator, swift and substantial action is taken. Heck, even the kid your kid injured badly enough to require medical care ended up suspended too. It seems the kids have found your daughters hot button and are pushing it because it gets a reaction. This is what kids do and rarely is it actually a sign of deep seated hatred. They pick on anyone who is different and that gets a reaction; the short boy, the one with glasses, the nerd, etc. It certainly isn't right, but if even kids who aren't white are chanting "white power", it probably isn't being used the way those who understand the terms would use it. I'm not excusing it, and no matter the reason your daughter should not be bullied, but it *might* help her to see it as immature taunting and not an attack on her person or sign of hatred.

    Legally the school can not tell you what they do to a kid as far as discipline but if they are handing out multiple 10 day suspensions, they are not fooling around. You might not feel they are doing enough but a 10 day suspension is the most a school can do. Expulsions are extremely rare and can only legally be done in specific circumstances. I personally do not agree that is the way it should be, but despite being in education the majority of my career, including public schools, no one asked me.

    Unfortunately for your daughter, violence is one such reason. There is a world of difference between taunting and beating someone up to the point of requiring medical care. It does not matter the reason, there is never an excuse to physically attack another person. Ever. You are looking for all manner of legal recourse and are out for blood over a text message. There is a very good reason the DA and others aren't trying to press charges against the kid your kid beat up. I honestly don't see anything happening over the taunts, recorded or not. They aren't going to send a minor to juvie because he teased a girl on the bus one day. I'm not even sure what charges the DA thinks will be brought, but I would not get my hopes up that they will stick or even see a courtroom. I would also think long and hard about how bringing charges, especially in light of your daughter's own behavior, is going to affect her in this community. Fair or not, it will not make her more popular and if this community is as hostile as it sounds, you need to be prepared for the reality of the situation.

    Were it my kid, I would be looking at changing schools. Either a different public school for a fresh start, or private. It may seem unfair but sometimes your kid's happiness and well being are more important than making a point. You might also partner with the school and or PTA to see what they can do as far as anti-bullying and anti-discrimination programs. If there are particular kids who are the ring leaders, contact their parents, one parent to another. You might be surprised how often that is all it takes. Be as active in the community as you can. Kids with highly visible parents who take an active role in the school tend not to be bullied. It also introduces you to other parents so when there is an issue, it is easier to approach them. It can't hurt and it might help your daughter to have that form of support from you. I have worked with teenagers for over 20 years, even my most jaded munchkin who claimed they didn't want mom and dad there, was glad when they were.
     
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  4. Ecmont4413

    Ecmont4413 Law Topic Starter New Member

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    Thank you for taking your time to help me out in this matter.
     
  5. Ecmont4413

    Ecmont4413 Law Topic Starter New Member

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    I never implied or suggested
    i never implied or told my daughter that it was ok to fight. I am totally against it. I just told her to stand up to bullies by reporting them to a teacher or counselor.
     
  6. Ecmont4413

    Ecmont4413 Law Topic Starter New Member

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    What is a tax payer funded adult. Is this representing me so I won't need an attorney?
     
  7. Ecmont4413

    Ecmont4413 Law Topic Starter New Member

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    The girl in question simply went to the hospital for a scratch on her shoulder. The schools protocol since they do not have a nurse is to take anyone injured ( how minut it may be to get checked out by a professional. Now that her records have become public for my defense team ( Jag in assisting me along with the NAACP) I was able to view her injuries. I was a medic in the military and all her test were normal and she left the hospital with a band aide. Her mother lied to the detectives and the DA and told them that her daughter was Dx with a head concussion and upon the DA, Jag and the NAACP reviewed her medical records and THIER was no mention of a concussion. My daughter has never fought anyone regardless how she was told how black people look hanging from a tree. She reported it. My daughter never faught after being called a N***a on a daily basis. She reported it. This has been happening for three yrs straight without my daughter fighting anyone. They know that my daughter is a good kid who has never been in this much trouble EVER! The principal and staff were in aw by what occurred that dreadful day. Being teased for being fat and ugly do not follow under the Americans hate crime laws and so this doesn't follow under the same category. These are kids being taught at home that it's ok to call someone of color the N word. My daughters action are not exceptable nor do we condone violence. She is very sorry and remorseful but she told me she just snapped after dealing with these racist kids for three years. The DA is pissed off how the school has handled these racist situations. Most of the kids got a slap in the hand and this is totally un exceptable. The question should be is why would this kid approach my daughter who was minding her own business and provoke her by yelling white power in the hall ways. My daughter should have reported her but my daughter simply had a break down and snapped. She regrets her actions and this will be a life long learning experience.
     
  8. army judge

    army judge Super Moderator

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    A typo, tax payer funded attorney or you can hire your own.

    You need not defend yourself to us.

    We don't judge because we're not members of the court or the government.


    We express opinions simply to provide you with information.

    We don't judge.
     
  9. cbg

    cbg Super Moderator

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    Okay. Let's start here.

    What do YOU think should happen? What, in your mind, would be an acceptable response from the authorities?
     
  10. ElleMD

    ElleMD Well-Known Member

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    You have an attorney apparently and that is who you need to take actual legal advice from at trial, but I will say once you start justifying the attack, you start sealing her fate. Judges are not there to put the victim on trial, they are there to assess whether or not your daughter committed a crime. It is going to be darn near impossible to claim she did not as there are witnesses, a video, and medical reports. Judges are very hesitant to ever overlook someone breaking the law. It wasn't self defense or an accident. THIS victim isn't responsible for your kid's mental state and 3 years of whatever others have done or said to her. It is never a crime victim's fault they become a victim. There is just no excuse to commit a crime against someone. There may be consequences, but those consequences are not to allow/expect someone to pull your hair and punch you as hard as they can repeatedly.
     
  11. Ecmont4413

    Ecmont4413 Law Topic Starter New Member

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    You are completely right. Like I mentioned before I never condone violence. My child has never faught in or out of school. She is truly remorseful and will be attending counseling on Monday. She simply snapped but I won't use that as an excuse. The victim in this case should not have been beaten up and I whole heartedly expect my child to RECIEVE her punishment. I completely blame myself for allowing her to remain in this school. She will begin attending a private diversity school with zero tolerance for any type of bullying. I just hope that the bullying stops once and for all. It all begins at home and I blame the parents of the racist bullies. No one is born with hate towards black/ Hispanic . This is taught at home. Once again thanks for your opinions. I truly appreciate looking at the situation through some one else's stand point.
     
  12. Ecmont4413

    Ecmont4413 Law Topic Starter New Member

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    My attorney through the NAACP specializes in hate crimes/bullying. I will meet him next week to provide him with all of the racially slurred text messages from the victim and her mother as well a voicemail from the mother I just recieved yesterday stating she is going to hang my daughter from a tree and roast a n*gg*r. She apparently is helping me out with my case. I will continue to ignore her and let the judge see and hear just a little of what my daughter has had to endure. Again... I repeat again no one deserves to be hit on and for this I am truly sorry but.... Her mother's threat to hang my child on a tree and set her on fire is crossing the line. What my daughter did is unforgivable but what her mother said too is unforgivable and considered a hate crime. I will continue to pray for her and her family
     
  13. Ecmont4413

    Ecmont4413 Law Topic Starter New Member

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    The military taught us you have to pay the cost to be the boss. What ever outcome occurs we will gladly accept and move on with our lives. My daughter will apologies to the victim because it is the right thing to do. Her mother on the other hand will have to answer to the judge as to the MULTIPLE text messages her mother and the victim sent to my daughters cell phone as well as the message from the victims mother regarding hanging my daughter from a tree and roasting her ( setting her on fire. I realize that her mom is pissed but she took it to a whole others level of violence so I dont know what the judge will do. Her actions just may have won my case. Again I DO NOT accept or condone violence but after he reviews her case, the nasty racist text messages and her mother's phone recorded messages, he may find it to be justifiable and may even throw out the case. I don't know what will happens ONLY GOD KNOWS.
     
  14. cbg

    cbg Super Moderator

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    I didn't ask you what you thought the judge would do. You are clearly dissatisfied with the actions the school authorities have taken so I asked you what actions you WOULD be happy with.
     
  15. Ecmont4413

    Ecmont4413 Law Topic Starter New Member

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    You are completely right. I am not looking to
    Yes I am super pissed how the school has treated every racially motivated bullying. The DA is pissed off too with the total disregard of the way the ENTIRE school's lack off nipping these several incidents in the bud. It's like you don't get it when you have been bashed, bashed and more bashing and no matter who my daughter tells or I speak to at school it is blown underneath the rug. I would expect in Fantasy island ii would charge the parents to include myself and take it to court. Due to the newly discovered evidence I would definitely charge the mother of the racist girl with a hate crime. Between the mother and victim ( I use this word loosely) they threaten my child. It wasn't a simple I will beat you up. It was to lynch my daughter and burn her n*g*er body. Who says that? Only a racist person would say that! How dumb can you be sending my daughter threatening messages knowing that we will be bringing this to court. I believe and would love to see my daughters charges dismissed and charges ( we filed today after this recent threat) upheld in court as a hate crime. Just because the victim got beat up doesn't erase the fact that she was the bully. She instigated yelling white power in the presence of many witnesses. Her text messages and her moms voicemail will be enough evidence to vindicate my daughters outcome and any judge will look into all of the evidence and even though she is the victim I would hope that a fair judge will not look at her as the victim but the perpetrator as well. Let's just say I would feel bad for her when the tables flipp and a lesson will be learned. STOP thinking it's ok to call my daughter the N word and btw.... This is the girls 3 Rd time bullying my daughter. Enough is enough! Community service in a prodomently african American area so she can learn that not all black people as well as white people are not all bad. Maybe she could write an essay about African American people that changed the world. This would give her insight about black people. An essay about bullying and the effects on people that are bullied.
     
  16. ElleMD

    ElleMD Well-Known Member

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    You still haven't provided as answer as to what you think the school could have done differently. They can not change what children learn at home. They did suspend students when they found out they were using hate speech or bullying.

    Frankly, if I were you, I'd move to a community with fewer bigots. Shouldn't be hard. Who wants to live among those who are intolerant and narrow minded? You might see it as not giving in to stay, but at some point, your quality of life and who your child spends time with trump principle.

    I would get the kid into some counseling. She will encounter others in the future who treat her poorly or make insensitive remarks and she needs a better outlet and a constructive way to handle those emotions. It may also help the judge see she is working on her anger and being proactive to prevent another situation in the future.
     
  17. Ecmont4413

    Ecmont4413 Law Topic Starter New Member

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    First of all she has never had an anger issue. She was ALWAYS an honor student and her record from kinder to present is impeccable. Her teacher, the dean and principle all are in shock because of her ONE and ONLY incident. So for you to state that she has anger issues who doesn't know how to conduct herself tells me a little about your character. Either you can't read or your a racist! I was able to obtain a document that put my daughters school at the number one spot in the entire state where they documented the most hate crimes in that school district. What I want is for the school to be accountable for what is occurring in THIER school. Celebrate and educate during African American History. Maybe these racist kids will learn a thing or two. Don't turn a blind eye. Don't brush this under the carpet. If it is found that a kid is a racist then hold the parents accountable. There is no freedom of speech in publics schools. You can have all of your freedom to speak do it in your own house and home school your kid. If you want to be racist then they can move. I fought 9 months as a nurse during the Persian Gulf War 1990 to 1991 and so did my kids, because they were motherless and fatherless because my husband and I did our tour together. My eldest child at the time was 6 months old. When I got out of the service my kids had to deal with years without THIER father and I taught them how life wasn't always easy but THIER would be times you have to stand up for what you believe in. All this (23 yrs) while all these so called racist sat around and spoke badly of people of color we were fighting for these ass wholes. I might not be able to ever get rid of the racism in this country but no one will Run me off from our dream home. At this point my daughter will be attending a private school with kids that are more diversified. I didn't fight for my country to then be treated like an alien. You stand there and be poked hundreds of times and I bet you will poke right back eventually. NO ONE. should endure racism period. Today I pressed charges on the girl who got beat up for harassment under hate crime. By the way the DA suggested it along with my very expensive attorney. So something good will come out of this serious topic. You cant harass someone by calling them racial slurs without consequences. If she would just kept her racist mouth shut I wouldn't be having this conversation with you. The judge is going to eat her alive. So please stop calling her the victim. If you insist address her as the racist victim. Have a wonderful day because I sure am going too! Good bye Felicia!
     
  18. cbg

    cbg Super Moderator

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    Okay, clearly you're not interested in anything but a forum to rant about this, so I think we can consider this matter closed as for as we're concerned.
     
  19. Ecmont4413

    Ecmont4413 Law Topic Starter New Member

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    Thank you for all your advice. I apologize for my last message. I was offended because I was tired of hearing that my daughter has anger issues. She is the sweetest person I know and I'm not saying that because she is my daughter. This was totally unbecoming of her and her very first fight. This terrible event was a terrible isolated event. Again I'm sorry. I hope that you accept my apology.
     
  20. army judge

    army judge Super Moderator

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    Time to close this thread. Please, let's keep things civil. No one offering advice is doing so with evil intent or a devil's heart.
     

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