custody question

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anaerosmithchic

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its in pinellas county. My boyfriends ex wife basically turned over custody in June of 2009 to my boyfriend, she was allegadly moving to another state and wanted their kid to stay with them while she gets settled up there, which never happened. He went to court to stop child support payments while the kid was living with him, it was granted, and he has paper saying the kid is now under his custody. Well this past June the mother, who was not prepared to take their kid back, demanded the child back. My boyfriend asked his kid, who is 11, who they wanted to live with as he felt that the child should choose at that age, etc. The kid went back but was with us for a while and now back with mom. the enviroment is not stable, she is using the kid for money (welfare basically and was in trouble last year claiming their kid for food stamps, etc when the kid was with us). Well this past week my boyfriend finally filed for permanant custody.
My question is because the ex wife never got that last ruling reversed (when my boyfriend got child support stopped and stated that the child was under his care) does my boyfriend still have legal custody of their kid or is that tricky because he did let the kid go back with their mom? He wanted to find out because if he still has custody then he may and go and take his kid right now until this is all heard in court and there is an offical ruling.
 
anaerosmithchic said:
its in pinellas county. My boyfriends ex wife basically turned over custody in June of 2009 to my boyfriend, she was allegadly moving to another state and wanted their kid to stay with them while she gets settled up there, which never happened. He went to court to stop child support payments while the kid was living with him, it was granted, and he has paper saying the kid is now under his custody. Well this past June the mother, who was not prepared to take their kid back, demanded the child back. My boyfriend asked his kid, who is 11, who they wanted to live with as he felt that the child should choose at that age, etc. The kid went back but was with us for a while and now back with mom. the enviroment is not stable, she is using the kid for money (welfare basically and was in trouble last year claiming their kid for food stamps, etc when the kid was with us). Well this past week my boyfriend finally filed for permanant custody.
My question is because the ex wife never got that last ruling reversed (when my boyfriend got child support stopped and stated that the child was under his care) does my boyfriend still have legal custody of their kid or is that tricky because he did let the kid go back with their mom? He wanted to find out because if he still has custody then he may and go and take his kid right now until this is all heard in court and there is an offical ruling.
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If the court order said the father has primary custody then he still does until the court rules otherwise. Just because he let the child "go stay with mom" for awhile does not mean he has given her custody. He can go get his child as long as he does not disobey any court rulings of visitation. You know not get the child on her visitation time or not allow mom to get the child on her court ordered time...if there are such times that the court ruled. Good luck to him for the childs sake.
 
One more thing, did dad get child support from mom? Not releated to outcome just curious? Also at age 11 it should'nt be left up to the child if the other parents home is not a stable one.
 
anaerosmithchic said:
its in pinellas county. My boyfriends ex wife basically turned over custody in June of 2009 to my boyfriend, she was allegadly moving to another state and wanted their kid to stay with them while she gets settled up there, which never happened. He went to court to stop child support payments while the kid was living with him, it was granted, and he has paper saying the kid is now under his custody. Well this past June the mother, who was not prepared to take their kid back, demanded the child back. My boyfriend asked his kid, who is 11, who they wanted to live with as he felt that the child should choose at that age, etc. The kid went back but was with us for a while and now back with mom. the enviroment is not stable, she is using the kid for money (welfare basically and was in trouble last year claiming their kid for food stamps, etc when the kid was with us). Well this past week my boyfriend finally filed for permanant custody.
My question is because the ex wife never got that last ruling reversed (when my boyfriend got child support stopped and stated that the child was under his care) does my boyfriend still have legal custody of their kid or is that tricky because he did let the kid go back with their mom? He wanted to find out because if he still has custody then he may and go and take his kid right now until this is all heard in court and there is an offical ruling.
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Is there a reason that the LEGAL PARTY to this issue can't post for himself? Are you aware that this is absolutely NONE of your LEGAL BUSINESS???
 
baystate.... i am his girlfriend, I live with him, what he does affects me, he was not sure what to do, I have done paralegal work in family law before, and he asked me for some help. so according to him, it is my business.
and as far as the child support question, no he did not persue it beause she simply refuses to work and when she does work its for less then a month so she does not qualify for unemployment. Plus he knows its a waste of time because he wont get any.
 
anaerosmithchic said:
baystate.... i am his girlfriend, I live with him, what he does affects me, he was not sure what to do, I have done paralegal work in family law before, and he asked me for some help. so according to him, it is my business.
and as far as the child support question, no he did not persue it beause she simply refuses to work and when she does work its for less then a month so she does not qualify for unemployment. Plus he knows its a waste of time because he wont get any.
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Well, Ms. Has Done Paralegal Work in Family Law, if you TRULY want to help the LEGAL PARTY to this situation, have him sign up under his OWN USER NAME and ask his own questions.

And BTW: What "he does" only "affects" you if you allow yourself to be over-involved in his LEGAL ISSUES.
 
Practical advice:

Drum it into your boyfriend's head that he absolutely should NOT be letting kiddo decide where kiddo wants to live. Don't put the child in the middle that way.
 
Proserpina said:
Practical advice:

Drum it into your boyfriend's head that he absolutely should NOT be letting kiddo decide where kiddo wants to live. Don't put the child in the middle that way.
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Better yet...OP should drum it into BF head to join and ask his own questions.;)
 
no its NOT your business. you are a legal stranger and dad's current bed warmer, not mom. getting involved in this or any matter concerning YOUR BF'S KIDS( NOT YOURS) will cause him a lot of problems. judges dont like 3rd parties( and thats what you are) getting involved in matters that dont legally concern thm
 
wow gee thanks for the help so much everyone! I come here to ask a question to help my boyfriend out and I get blasted away. I find it interesting how someone posts a song about trolls but has been nothing but RUDE. way to help people/welcome them out! i sure wont be suggesting this site to anyone if this is how they are going to get treated! dont bother to respond cause I am not coming back here. Sure hope you dont treat others this way geeze!
 
WOW! :confused: :eek: :dunno:
 
oh and I will be appearing as a witness in the custody hearing as I was a witness to the tyrades the ex did, the harrassement, trying to start fights with my boyfriend in front of his and my kid, the threats, etc. as well as what she didnt do as far as following the court order. so according to the atty my boyfriend talked to, it is my legal business as i will be testifying in front of a judge!
and to the person who is following me around the boards leaving nasty comments, you have been put on ignore and reported.
 
anaerosmithchic said:
oh and I will be appearing as a witness in the custody hearing as I was a witness to the tyrades the ex did, the harrassement, trying to start fights with my boyfriend in front of his and my kid, the threats, etc. as well as what she didnt do as far as following the court order. so according to the atty my boyfriend talked to, it is my legal business as i will be testifying in front of a judge!
and to the person who is following me around the boards leaving nasty comments, you have been put on ignore and reported.
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I'm sure you'll go a long way.

Truly.

(Were you actually stomping your little outraged feet and punching those widdle hands in the air as you typed? That's how most of us imagined you....)
 
Chill out guys!!!! I understand things can get a little testy... no need to rub it in...

I understand where the OP is coming from, after all, she's involved with the girl's father and all of us should have an idea of how tough it is when someone we are in a relationship with has a past life that cannot and will not go away. That said, while you want to do all you can to help (and the other woman is always horrible... I'll take your word for it that she is), the fact remains that whatever was decided at the last hearing is in the paperwork. I'm not even sure of the chronology of events. Right now it seems that your BF voluntarily allowed his daughter to go live with her mother - is that even knowing that the mother allegedly could not take care of herself and the child? Why would he do that?

My feeling is that if you're right, the court will grant your BF full custody. But be prepared - it is rare that a court grants full custody permanently to the father and I'm not sure what kind of impact the mother's moving out of state (and consent by your BF that she could stay with her mother) may impact the decision. Good luck.
 
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Join Date Dec 2009
Location Weigh a pie
Posts 1,262
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I'm sure you'll go a long way.

Truly.

(Were you actually stomping your little outraged feet and punching those widdle hands in the air as you typed? That's how most of us imagined you....)
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Spurt! YES. EXACTLY!!

lol...Time for the B&G???
 
anaerosmithchic, you will be treated much more harshly in court. This is a free site and the people who volunteer their time do not appreciate having a third party post questions.
 
and i have answered others people questions and was stalked by 2 other members leaving nasty responses to what I had written. that is right. you heard me...STALKED..but that is okay because i have them on my ignore list.
and I have been in court as a witness before so this is nothing new to me, I know how it goes. but it is still no excuse for that kind of behavior. that is why i simply ignore and move on now. I just think the behavior is childish and if they dont like the question then move on. i have posted questions in the past....about things that happened to ME and got rude comments also and nice comments also.
 
You obviously don't understand what the word "stalked" means.

You're acting like a petulant 5 year old. I realize it's Halloween and everything but, really, don't take your sugar-crash out on the rest of us.

Thanks.
 
Guys... there is no need to be antagonistic even though she is a third party - she does have an interest in the outcome of the case personally as it does affect her.

I think that some of the animus here is that many come and post their side of events which usually aren't the complete facts, are biased and are factually incorrect. I'm NOT saying that is the case here but usually it ends up being someone who hopes something will go their way and continues to ask questions to get the answers they hope to hear. Again, not saying this is the case, just explaining how this stuff happens.

In the spirit of Halloween, let's all chill out and get some candy. :)

(PS - Keep in mind the announcement that at some point tomorrow you may need to check email for a temporary password and then re-enter your password into our new system.)
 
lonelyinny said:
no its NOT your business. you are a legal stranger and dad's current bed warmer, not mom. getting involved in this or any matter concerning YOUR BF'S KIDS( NOT YOURS) will cause him a lot of problems. judges dont like 3rd parties( and thats what you are) getting involved in matters that dont legally concern thm
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I can definitely see where it is her business. What goes on in the home where she lives affects her. If he brings the child home with him and then the mother takes issue with it the police could potentially become involved. If the police show up at the residence questioning who has what, she should be prepared for that or any similar contingency.

It would be better if the father posted but absent that and in light of the fact that OP says that father knows and encourages her participation its really not up to us to accuse her of being a busybody. Would be best for dad to post but if prefers OP to do so then who are we to criticize when we haven't all the facts?
 
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