<div class="bbWrapper">I'm seeking advice for my 25 yr od son, who asked me to help. So, if you want to help thanks - but if your take is going to be some snide "stay out of it - it's not your business" comment, do me a favor & stay out of this post. It is my business - this is my granddaughter, I’ve been asked to help & our concern is legitimate. <br />
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That said: He loves his 2 mo old baby, but GF's issues make it unbearable for him to live with her. She’s bipolar & a mean, spiteful drunk. She's been arrested or wound up in the hospital many times while drunk; tried to kill herself 3 years ago; did cocaine at a party & wound up in the hospital 2 summers ago (he was in Iraq at the time); overdosed on bipolar meds several times; she gets mad at my son for going to work; when angry she threatens to call his work & try to get him fired. When he says he can’t take it anymore she threatens to kill herself. Her own mother has called the police on her many times. <br />
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Her 7 yr old son from prior relationship throws uncontrollable fits - hits/kicks others while screaming he hates himself & wants to kill himself. He was evaluated at psyc ward last yr during a fit. GF thinks it’s normal & does not seek help - my son worries about baby being exposed to this behavior. <br />
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My son is not a drinker - & no I‘m not trying to make him sound perfect. It’s true - he’s a 1 or 2 beers during a game on the weekend type of drinker. GF is eager to hit bar scene every weekend now that baby is here. He let her go past 2 weekends so she could get a break (he stayed home with kids) both times she came home around 3am & started fights w/him & others - neighbors, her parents, her friends... Neighbors called cops 2 weeks ago, but no arrests were made. One night her loud voice woke her son up and she told him she was leaving and never coming back.<br />
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Last night she did it again - came home smashed & ready to argue @ 3am when my son had to work at 7am. He was feeding baby & worried about leaving for work - he tried to call to see if I'd watch baby - GF rips phone out of his hand & throws it across the room. Once again this is her baby & he's not taking her anywhere - just a few minutes prior she told him she’s leaving him & the kids because she can’t take it anymore. This is typical - it’s the same scene that keeps repeating. <br />
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So, now that you have the picture, what can he do to prepare for a custody battle? He is very concerned and would like to have sole custody. <br />
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Should he try to tape her with his phone when she is throwing one of her drunken fits for evidence? Will her history increase his odd of custody - her prior arrests, bipolar, uncontrollable anger, the troubled son she seeks no help for, her suicide threats - it’s all documented by police & hospitals. If he calls police so he can leave with baby when she’s drunk will that increase his odds? Any advise for him is greatly appreciated.</div>
Custody chances?
- Thread Starter 130munch
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<div class="bbWrapper">One more thing - if he were to call the cops during her next middle of the night drinking/fighting binge so he could leave with the baby, which I'm assuming the cops would agree is the best thing - what would his odd be of getting an emergency order for temporary custody granted under the circumstances. <br />
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I'm thinking if could get temp custody then, he'd have the upper hand at getting sole custody.</div>
Proserpina
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<div class="bbWrapper">(polite hint: copping an attitude before anyone has had the chance to respond is not going to encourage people to want to help you. Jes' sayin'.)<br />
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Now.<br />
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Has he even been legally established as Dad yet?</div>
jacksgal
New Member
<div class="bbWrapper">130 I must admit you bring up some "red flags" with me. You have 13 threads you started in regards to legal issues your dealing with or a supposed friend. Where I understand caca happens to people, I dont see it happening this often</div>
<div class="bbWrapper">Jacksgal - don't know what to tell you. I've posted here several times because my son keeps telling me he doesn't know what to do. I've urged him to come on this site & post his own questions, but he hasn't. I'm frustrated with his situation too because he keeps coming to me very upset and I want him to start doing whatever is best where this baby is concerned - so I try to get some insight for him here. <br />
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Luckily I don't have any legal issues at the moment, but if a friend or my kid has one that is upsetting their life I really don't see what is so wrong by coming here & trying to help by getting some advice for them. Last winter a co-worker had a problem, but no computer at home, so I tried to see what I could find out for her. Most of my others posts had to do with my son when his girlfriend became pregnant. If there were others on other topics I don't recall what they were.<br />
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I thought this forum was to get legal insite and advice - that's what I'm doing, so I'm not sure why you have a problem with my posts.</div>
jacksgal
New Member
<div class="bbWrapper">I said it sent (to me at least) "red flags"</div>
<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="" data-quote="130munch" data-source="post: 128515"
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He siged birth certificate too
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In Illinois, a Voluntary Acknowledgment of Paternity must be completed before the father's name is added to the birth certificate. If his name is on the BC, then he has legally acknowledged paternity.</div>
<div class="bbWrapper">Propserpina: "(polite hint: copping an attitude before anyone has had the chance to respond is not going to encourage people to want to help you. Jes' sayin'.)"<br />
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I hear what you are saying and I'm sorry if I came across like that. I do appreciate the polite hint and the way you delivered it! It's just that I've posted on behalf of my son and a co-worker before because they came to me for help. Some responders offered no advice at all and instead seized the opportunity to rip me a new one for asking a question on behalf of someone else - telling me to butt out because it's not my problem.</div>
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Proserpina
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<div class="bbWrapper">But there are no current court orders, correct?</div>
Proserpina
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<div class="bbWrapper">Then your son does not have the right to leave with the child; he NEEDS to get down to court immediately and file for at the very least, joint custody and visitation.<br />
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Sole custody is rare these days. The norm is joint legal custody with the NCP receiving visitation.<br />
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But as they're unmarried, Mom is currently the only legal custodian.</div>
army judge
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<div class="bbWrapper">Before your son does anything else he should move out of that house of horrors, ASAP!!!<br />
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No matter what else happens, do not move back in with her. <br />
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If this is as bad as you paint it, it could turn violent or deadly at any time!!! <br />
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Then he should file a paternity action to see if he is the father. <br />
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He should have done that BEFORE he signed the birth certificate. <br />
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I don't understand with DNA technology available, why any man in today's world would voluntarily admit to paternity without a DNA test???<br />
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Once the the test result is known, I'd seek legal orders regarding custody and support, IF I WERE THE FATHER!!!<br />
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If not, I'd thank God and acknowledge a lesson about engaging in unprotected, promiscuous sex!!!!</div>
Proserpina
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<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="" data-quote="130munch" data-source="post: 128528"
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I will urge him to seek joint custody, but do you have any suggestions of what he should do when she is in a drunken rage in the middle of the night? If he leaves alone the baby is in danger. If he stays, quite frankly, they are both in danger.
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He calls 911 AND CPS immediately.<br />
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That's the sensible thing to do.</div>
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