I'm seeking advice for my 25 yr od son, who asked me to help. So, if you want to help thanks - but if your take is going to be some snide "stay out of it - it's not your business" comment, do me a favor & stay out of this post. It is my business - this is my granddaughter, I've been asked to help & our concern is legitimate.
That said: He loves his 2 mo old baby, but GF's issues make it unbearable for him to live with her. She's bipolar & a mean, spiteful drunk. She's been arrested or wound up in the hospital many times while drunk; tried to kill herself 3 years ago; did cocaine at a party & wound up in the hospital 2 summers ago (he was in Iraq at the time); overdosed on bipolar meds several times; she gets mad at my son for going to work; when angry she threatens to call his work & try to get him fired. When he says he can't take it anymore she threatens to kill herself. Her own mother has called the police on her many times.
Her 7 yr old son from prior relationship throws uncontrollable fits - hits/kicks others while screaming he hates himself & wants to kill himself. He was evaluated at psyc ward last yr during a fit. GF thinks it's normal & does not seek help - my son worries about baby being exposed to this behavior.
My son is not a drinker - & no I'm not trying to make him sound perfect. It's true - he's a 1 or 2 beers during a game on the weekend type of drinker. GF is eager to hit bar scene every weekend now that baby is here. He let her go past 2 weekends so she could get a break (he stayed home with kids) both times she came home around 3am & started fights w/him & others - neighbors, her parents, her friends... Neighbors called cops 2 weeks ago, but no arrests were made. One night her loud voice woke her son up and she told him she was leaving and never coming back.
Last night she did it again - came home smashed & ready to argue @ 3am when my son had to work at 7am. He was feeding baby & worried about leaving for work - he tried to call to see if I'd watch baby - GF rips phone out of his hand & throws it across the room. Once again this is her baby & he's not taking her anywhere - just a few minutes prior she told him she's leaving him & the kids because she can't take it anymore. This is typical - it's the same scene that keeps repeating.
So, now that you have the picture, what can he do to prepare for a custody battle? He is very concerned and would like to have sole custody.
Should he try to tape her with his phone when she is throwing one of her drunken fits for evidence? Will her history increase his odd of custody - her prior arrests, bipolar, uncontrollable anger, the troubled son she seeks no help for, her suicide threats - it's all documented by police & hospitals. If he calls police so he can leave with baby when she's drunk will that increase his odds? Any advise for him is greatly appreciated.
That said: He loves his 2 mo old baby, but GF's issues make it unbearable for him to live with her. She's bipolar & a mean, spiteful drunk. She's been arrested or wound up in the hospital many times while drunk; tried to kill herself 3 years ago; did cocaine at a party & wound up in the hospital 2 summers ago (he was in Iraq at the time); overdosed on bipolar meds several times; she gets mad at my son for going to work; when angry she threatens to call his work & try to get him fired. When he says he can't take it anymore she threatens to kill herself. Her own mother has called the police on her many times.
Her 7 yr old son from prior relationship throws uncontrollable fits - hits/kicks others while screaming he hates himself & wants to kill himself. He was evaluated at psyc ward last yr during a fit. GF thinks it's normal & does not seek help - my son worries about baby being exposed to this behavior.
My son is not a drinker - & no I'm not trying to make him sound perfect. It's true - he's a 1 or 2 beers during a game on the weekend type of drinker. GF is eager to hit bar scene every weekend now that baby is here. He let her go past 2 weekends so she could get a break (he stayed home with kids) both times she came home around 3am & started fights w/him & others - neighbors, her parents, her friends... Neighbors called cops 2 weeks ago, but no arrests were made. One night her loud voice woke her son up and she told him she was leaving and never coming back.
Last night she did it again - came home smashed & ready to argue @ 3am when my son had to work at 7am. He was feeding baby & worried about leaving for work - he tried to call to see if I'd watch baby - GF rips phone out of his hand & throws it across the room. Once again this is her baby & he's not taking her anywhere - just a few minutes prior she told him she's leaving him & the kids because she can't take it anymore. This is typical - it's the same scene that keeps repeating.
So, now that you have the picture, what can he do to prepare for a custody battle? He is very concerned and would like to have sole custody.
Should he try to tape her with his phone when she is throwing one of her drunken fits for evidence? Will her history increase his odd of custody - her prior arrests, bipolar, uncontrollable anger, the troubled son she seeks no help for, her suicide threats - it's all documented by police & hospitals. If he calls police so he can leave with baby when she's drunk will that increase his odds? Any advise for him is greatly appreciated.
