cps,domestic violence, and no contact?

Status
Not open for further replies.
S

sadmomma

New Member
My kids dad was arrested a few weeks ago for domestic violence on me when I went to pick my kids up from him. Two days later child protection services contacted me and said they needed to make a report because he hit me in front of them. My children's father was set up a couple months ago to pay child support but no visits or custody arrangement was evrer made. So in mind the way I took the cps workers words was until they're dad files for visits I can't allow him to see them. Also that I had to prosecute him. Which I did and he got probabation and no contact for a year which I didn't want because of the kids. I don't care to speak to him but I need help with them. His mom told me he hasn't got a message telling him he has to do this. My questions are am I allowed to contact him to tell him to go file for visiting? Also is this how it works when Cps gets involved over the parents fighting?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
.
.
.
..
.

Can I get in trouble for responding to someone who has a no contact order? He pled guilty to simple domestic and was put on probation and given a no contact with me for a year. The other day he contacted me and I responded because the stuff he was saying mad me so upset. He is now harrasing me and posting Mean things on facebook. Can I stop him from the Facebook thing also? Thank you

My ex was issued a no contact order on me after a domestic assault. He contacted me the other day from several different numbers .none of which were his. I texted him bacK just over our kids. But told him not to contact me again because he started getting angry. Now he is still contacting me and I told him I was going to turn him in and he said I couldn't or I'd get in trouble for texting back ,is this true? Because now he is posting mean stuff online and texting mean things and I do not text back .

No its was not mutual it was just on him for me. He texted me first and i havent resonded since the firwt day and hes still messages me once a day calling me a whore. Should i report this or not? Also he is posting mean things on his Facebook about me with my pic in the post.can I stop this?

Kids father is posting untasteful things about me on Facebook. He's put my profile pic up and wrote that I'm on drugs and anerexic. I've reported him to Facebook but all they have done was took one pic of me in a bra down. Can I do anything about this?
 
If I understand you correctly, Dad pays support but has not sought nor requested, nor has a court ordered visitation of any kind. You allowed visitation even without an order. He hit you a few weeks ago and the judge ordered him to stay away from you for a year. Seems off that this would already have gone to trial if it just happened a few weeks ago. CPS doesn't give a hoot about the two of you. They care about what the children are exposed to and if the children are in danger. CPS does not serve as the judge in criminal matters.

If the father wants visitation, he needs to file for it. Frankly, if he is abusive I would not push the issue as the children certainly are not going to benefit from being abused or witnessing abuse. Why would you tell him what he needs to do? Legally nothing you mentioned is stopping you but I can't begin to imagine why you would contact your abuser to inform him how to have access to the kids.
 
sadmomma said:
My kids dad was arrested a few weeks ago for domestic violence on me when I went to pick my kids up from him. Two days later child protection services contacted me and said they needed to make a report because he hit me in front of them. My children's father was set up a couple months ago to pay child support but no visits or custody arrangement was evrer made. So in mind the way I took the cps workers words was until they're dad files for visits I can't allow him to see them. Also that I had to prosecute him. Which I did and he got probabation and no contact for a year which I didn't want because of the kids. I don't care to speak to him but I need help with them. His mom told me he hasn't got a message telling him he has to do this. My questions are am I allowed to contact him to tell him to go file for visiting? Also is this how it works when Cps gets involved over the parents fighting?
Click to expand...

In all the cases I've know about similar to your fact pattern, the abuser and the victim are enjoined (prohobited) from contacting each other after teh arrest, during teh trial, and throughout the probationary period the abuser is serving.

Do yourself and your kids a favor, have NO contact with the abuser.
If you want to know more about whether you can or can't contact the abuser, speak with the prosecutor that was in charge of the abuser's court case!
 
sadmomma said:
Can I get in trouble for responding to someone who has a no contact order? He pled guilty to simple domestic and was put on probation and given a no contact with me for a year. The other day he contacted me and I responded because the stuff he was saying mad me so upset. He is now harrasing me and posting Mean things on facebook. Can I stop him from the Facebook thing also? Thank you
Click to expand...

No contact means no contact. Yes, your reply violated the order. You should have reported the person to the police. Responding further could get you in deep poo poo. Stop responding, ignore the person. Let it go.
 
Well, if the other party is restrained from contacting sadmomma, then it is the OTHER guy that can get in trouble for the contact ... unless this is a mutual order and sadmomma failed to state this. Such mutual orders are almost never seen out here, but, in TN? Who knows?

@sadmomma, you should have immediately contacted the police when he contacted you on FB. As it is, you should still be able to report him to the police for the violation.
 
CdwJava said:
Well, if the other party is restrained from contacting sadmomma, then it is the OTHER guy that can get in trouble for the contact ... unless this is a mutual order and sadmomma failed to state this. Such mutual orders are almost never seen out here, but, in TN? Who knows?

@sadmomma, you should have immediately contacted the police when he contacted you on FB. As it is, you should still be able to report him to the police for the violation.
Click to expand...


SADMOMMA said: "Can I get in trouble for responding to someone who has a no contact order? He pled guilty to simple domestic and was put on probation and given a no contact with me for a year. The other day he contacted me and I responded because the stuff he was saying mad me so upset."




Agreed, the one under the "no contact" apparently violated the "no contact" order.

But, "no conatct" cuts BOTH ways, meaning if you obtained the order, it enjoins you from responding to the "perp's" posts.

Many jurisdictions, including TX and TN, enjoin BOTH parties from contacting each other.

http://www.selegal.org/guide OOP.htm

http://criminal.lawyers.com/criminal-law-basics/restraining-orders.html

http://www.knoxcounty.org/fourthcircuitcourt/types_of_orders.php



​
 
Last edited:
It may cut both ways in some states - maybe even your state of Texas, but this is not necessarily the case in every state. And the links you provided make no specific mention of these as being two way orders unless specifically made a "mutual" order. Maybe Sadmomma was mutually restrained, but she did not mention it. If she was, perhaps she can clarify this. Out here, such orders are nearly unheard of - in TN maybe they are more common.

If the order is similar to those issued in other states that I am aware of, the judge's order commands ONE person not to contact the other - it lays no such restriction on the protected party. Now, if a court discovers that the protected party initiated contact with a person who they alleged they were afraid of (assuming this was an order applied for by the protected party and not issued by the court on its own motion) then the court may decide that the order should be lifted and the matter dismissed.

To know whether this was a "mutual" order or not, we'd have to read it or receive clarification from sadmomma. Absent that, and assuming this is a more or less typical protection order, I doubt that sadmomma can get into any legal trouble even for initiating contact, but, the restrained party (i.e. defendant) can.
 
There's no need to post the same question a second time. We're already addressing this issue in your other thread.
 
Yes you should report it. You got the no contact order for a reason. Why would you allow him to violate it daily and do nothing.
 
sadmomma said:
No its was not mutual it was just on him for me. He texted me first and i havent resonded since the firwt day and hes still messages me once a day calling me a whore. Should i report this or not? Also he is posting mean things on his Facebook about me with my pic in the post.can I stop this?
Click to expand...
You can contact Facebook or whatever provider of the means he is contacting you and let them know about the order and his actions. You can - and SHOULD - also contact the police and report his violation of the court order.
 
In addition to the suggestions that were made in your other thread/

Perhaps it's time for you to consult with an attorney.
 
sadmomma said:
Kids father is posting untasteful things about me on Facebook. He's put my profile pic up and wrote that I'm on drugs and anerexic. I've reported him to Facebook but all they have done was took one pic of me in a bra down. Can I do anything about this?
Click to expand...

Please STOP opening NEW threads asking the same question.
Thank you.

Ignoring the behavior you describe is the best way to cause the person to cease that behavior.

 
What is the law in tn for modifying child support? I need it raised because the father of my children was abusive for many years and even after we split he pressured into letting the judge put the min payment on him because he was unemployed. He told the judge he was buying things and helping me outside of court(it was a lie). Anyway he never sees them and I haven't received a dime yet and they are bringing him in for non payment to see the judge this week. Can I ask for it to be raised after 4 months?

I was told I can have a review anytime but only a modification on certain terms of like an increase in the absent parents income. But this is different. When we first went to court he scared me into to having the judge set the support at the min for him being unemployed. I have no idea if he still is. The reason I did is I was scared, he used to abuse me. So can I have this modified on these grounds ?

I really dont know how to explain this so ill try the best I can. My ex was abusive to me and one time he hit me was infront of our children. Since then ( 7 months ago) i cut most ties with him.but I let him visit the kids for the first month. And dcs got involved because he did this infront of them by the way. There was a no contact order on him for me and he kept breaking it and was abusive again infront our kids when exchanging them. Actually we both broke it because I allowed him to until this point that he did it again. Anyway that was the last tume ive talked to him only seen him in court. Because he did the dcs asked to have the no contact on the kids to. It was granted but is being lifted next month so his parents can supervise vists. He is doing good and even taking classes not ordered by court to help him. His mom told me he wants to know if ill drop my no contact order on him so we can co parent since hes doin good.my question is if I do this will it effect his vists being supervised and that hes not allowed to drive them? Because thats what I want. Also will I grt in trouble with dcs if I drop it?
 
Last edited by a moderator:
You can ask but absent some substantial change in circumstances, it will not be granted, especially if you just agreed to the current amount 4 months ago. Past abuse is not a reason to change it now nor is not taking advantage of his visitation opportunities. If he is unemployed and not paying now, what makes you think he will suddenly start paying a higher rate?
 
sadmomma said:
What is the law in tn for modifying child support? I need it raised because the father of my children was abusive for many years and even after we split he pressured into letting the judge put the min payment on him because he was unemployed. He told the judge he was buying things and helping me outside of court(it was a lie). Anyway he never sees them and I haven't received a dime yet and they are bringing him in for non payment to see the judge this week. Can I ask for it to be raised after 4 months?
Click to expand...

The law to modify child support in TN can be found here:

http://memphisdivorce.com/child-support-modification/


ElleMD said:
If he is unemployed and not paying now, what makes you think he will suddenly start paying a higher rate?
Click to expand...


ElleMD, asked you a $1,000,000 question.
I've highlighted it above in bold and blue!

ElleeMD is 100% correct.
There are many times the law can be on your side, and no remedy exists.
This time, even if the law were on your side, the remedy would be useless and hollow.
The guy's a bum, and he's probably never going to step up and do what real moms and dads do.
Until he does, I suggest you plan on supporting your child the best you can.
Apparently, the bum isn't ready to do so for the foreseeable future.
I wish you well.
 
Sorry but no. Regret after the fact is not a reason to change the support amount after just 4 months. Further, it sounds like the judge is the one who set the amount. Unless his circumstances changed significantly, there isn't grounds for modifying the order. If he is still unemployed or not making substantially more if he is now employed, the amount isn't going to be increased anyway.
 
sadmomma said:
I was told I can have a review anytime but only a modification on certain terms of like an increase in the absent parents income. But this is different. When we first went to court he scared me into to having the judge set the support at the min for him being unemployed. I have no idea if he still is. The reason I did is I was scared, he used to abuse me. So can I have this modified on these grounds ?
Click to expand...
.
.
.
..
.
.
Please stop opening new threads to discuss the same or similar question.
Thank you, one of the mods, AJ
 
I suggest you hire yourself a lawyer.
It seems that things keep getting more complicated for you.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Share this page

Get a free case review from a lawyer
Back
Top