Child support. Order to show cause.

[Thigg]

I have to go to court soon for show cause because of back child support but first let me explain then i can get some opinions. My daughter is 11 now but when she was 3 her mother started refusing to let me see her(was unemployed at the time) because i could not give her money. So after a month of not seing my daughter i took her to a mediator so i could come to an agreement with her because it is impossible to have a rational conversation with her about anything. I took her to the mediator and we set up payments. I had to start paying directly to her bank account. I paid up untill the time the account became closed and i told her about it but she just wouldnt talk to me about it so i let it go. Since then i have had lower paying jobs and some time of unemployment. In the agreement that we both signed it states she has to report to someone(forget who) to say i started paying which she never did. In 2007 my kids mom got in a real bad accident and she was hspitalized for 2 months and was still unable to care for her daughter when she returned home because of health issues.I had my daughter the whole time.before the accident we had come to a mutual agreement that since i wasnt making much i would give her 30-40 dollars a week which i did for a while.(and yes i know giving cash does not count)then the begining of 2008 she physicaly abused her daughter at which that time she was placed in custody with my mother cause i had a roommate. I moved out right away to live with my mom to take care of my daughter. She was in my moms custody for 1 year and i took care of her the whole time.Pretty much from 2007-2008 i had her the same amount of time as her mother. from 2008 till now i have her more(once in a while she will have our kid the same amount as me but never more. I had her full time in summer, cooked,cleaned,did homework, softball,etc... I know i owe her money but the amount she is trying for is probably double the actual number. she claims 24,000 is owed and i only payed 1,000. I have bank reciepts showing i paid more than 2000 but couldnt anymore because she closed the account. I had no checking account to pay her with cause i am bad with money and end up with alot of overdrafts. I wouldnt even have a prob saying i owe 25000 since its for my daughter anyway but its more like 12000. She is crazy and i know she wont give me credit for cash that has been payed to her. On the agreement we signed in 2004 it also says i can claim my child on taxes everyother year but i have only done it 1 year because the other years i let her have it cause i know i owed her. I am a big part of my kids life and i am worried about going to jail and it would effect her life too. Will i go to jail?. i know i wuill end up oweing her alot but its ok. O ya i have been unemployed since 2008 partialy because in 2008 and 2009 my kid had alot of problems and needed me there full time. whats your opinions. Sorry for the typing skills i am not good at putting stuff in words . Thanks! o ya .. at the time we made the agreement i wasnt aware i had to make modifications or anything like that and i do not go thru friends of the court. We were never married or together after my daughter was born.

 

[army judge]

You really, really need a lawyer; a real, live, breathing lawyer.

Your case is far too complex for an internet, instant answer.

I'm sure there is more to this than what you've provided here.

I doubt that you'll go to jail.

You pronbaly will never be able to pay this for a long time, whether it ends up being $25,000 or $12,000.

You can expect to see your tax refunds confiscated for many years to come.

Try reaching out to legal aid in your area.

You just might run into a compassionate lawyer that will help you.

Try talking to lawyers, sometimes one will take cases like yours pro bono.

If you're a veteran, try contacting veterans service orgainzations.

Keep trying, and stop talking to your ex-wife.

Sometimes that makes things worse.

Finally, never pay money under the table.

Make sure the court knows what you pay and it goes through the court.

Don't mention the part about the closed bank account.
It isn't relevant.
Even if the account had been closed, you should have just held on to the money.
That excuse only makes you appear to be irrespoinsible.
Also, the things you did for your daughter is what dads and moms do.
That, too, isn't relevant!

 

[Thigg]

thanks for the response. I do have a lawyer, and she is the lawyer that was appointed to me when i had to go to court when my kids mom abused my daughter. She knows the history a little bit and knows how crazy she is lol. I have no problem accepting what i have coming to me but i have always tried to make payments to her but due to unemployment and crappy jobs it wasnt that much. I am just a lil scared i might be going to jail for the holidays. I kinda needed a second opinion on wether im going to jail or not. My lawyer said probably not and so did you. Ive been having trouble sleeping lately because of this. And by the way she is not my wife. I got her pregnant the first 2 weeks we met and she dumped me right after that, and ever since she has been blaming me for ruining her life, and harassing me constantly. I dont ever talk to her anyways because she puts me down in front of my kid and starts fights in front of her too so i avoid her as much as possible unless we need to discuss important issues about my daughter. thanks again.