child neglect and custudy

[RABAMP]

My step daughter whom is 4yrs has no stable enviornment. Her mother pushes her off on her own mother every sunday, my husband and i have her 2-3 days a week, and my mother in law has her 3-4 days a week. Step daughters house with her mother has moldy food left out, piles of dirty laundy thats always there,& garbage that seems to never get taken out. When step daughter is picked up she is always smelly (like hasnt had a bath in a few days) and constantly has red underneath her eyes. She never wants to go back home, and throws a tantrum when you have to take her back. She always has a rash on her bottom. There is no court order pertaining to visitation or custody. Step daughters mother has been told by numerous people that she needs to make some changes concerning her living situation but she refuses. my husband feels that we need to go for full custody. But to my understanding nm is a "mommy" state. Any advise would be greatly appreciated.

 

[Proserpina]

There is no such thing as a "mommy state".

If there's no court order, you husband needs to realize that Mom can put a stop to visitation any time she pleases.

Now for the rest of it.

"Numerous people" need to shut up. Not their child, and certainly not their parenting decisions.

She's allowed to let her Mom look after the child.

Now a question. if the child is either staying with grandma or staying with Dad, why does Mom's living situation come into it? Does grandma live there too?

Who's the one watching the house to take note of the laundry, food and garbage?

Is he even established as father yet?

 

[army judge]

Does your husband, the baby's dad pay court ordered child support?

Briefly describe what the court order says about support, if one exists.

If there is no court ordered support, and no child visitation and/or custody order, why?

 

[RABAMP]

Yes he is on the birth certificate as her father. Step daughters mother, boyfriend, & little sister live in the apartment. The boyfriends mother, my husband and his mother, and the mothers parents are who have brought up the living conditions. I understand grandparents are allowed to look after kids.

 

[RABAMP]

Does your husband, the baby's dad pay court ordered child support?

Briefly describe what the court order says about support, if one exists.

If there is no court ordered support, and no child visitation and/or custody order, why?

Yes he pays child support. There has never been a custody/ visitation order set. Step daughters mother wanted to try to settle out of court but refuses every opportunity to sit and discuss with my husband.

 

[RABAMP]

Does your husband, the baby's dad pay court ordered child support?

Briefly describe what the court order says about support, if one exists.

If there is no court ordered support, and no child visitation and/or custody order, why?

Yes he pays child support. There has never been a custody/ visitation order set. Step daughters mother wanted to try to settle out of court but refuses every opportunity to sit and discuss with my husband.

 

[KatDini]

Yes he pays child support. There has never been a custody/ visitation order set. Step daughters mother wanted to try to settle out of court but refuses every opportunity to sit and discuss with my husband.

Then sounds like husband needs to find an attorney to file for custody/visitation.

 

[Proserpina]

What I'm getting from this is that Mom is not legally unfit, and the conditions are nowhere near as serious as people are saying.

Part of the problem is this:

None of the people involved have contacted child services. If they suspect neglect, why haven't they done anything? Either the conditions are bad enough for the State to step in - again nobody has done this - or they're not that bad at all.

See where I'm coming from?