changing childs last name

[Proserpina]

Don't know if you did but if you would have read the first post you would have read that Dad has already established paternity, visitation, and child support. From what I thought if dad would have been there when mom had the child and signed as the father on the birth certificate then I thought the child would have gotten his last name then....so if he's the father I really don't see reason as to why the child shouldn't have the fathers last name? It may just be I don't know enought about this situation. When parents have children out of wedlock is it normal that if the dad is present at birth the child gets his last name? I don't want backed up. I'm just here for facts and advice. I'm not sure I understand why dad shouldn't have his child have his last name just based apon who has primary custody. Mom already has primary custody shouldn't dad at least get to give her his last name? what effects would that have on the childs relationship between dad and mom? When mom has the child primarily and the child has her last name couldn't that be considered her trying to hurt dad and chids relationship? Or something like that? I may be way off and by no means do I claim to know what I'm talking about here I'm just asking so i know. And so dad knows really.. thank you. I do appreciate the advice.

The law allows Dad to petition the court to ask. What often follows, particularly when the NCP has a record of consistent, regular contact with the child, is hyphenation (Kiddo Mom'sName-Dad'sName or vice versa) of the child's name, if the parents cannot agree beforehand.

To answer your question of whether kiddo having Mom's last name would be considered trying to hurt Dad..the answer is a very clear "no". Mom could have, if she wished, named the child Bill Gates XXI, and this does not constitute alienation of any sort.

All things considered, the child's welfare is the most important thing here. And though I'm not an attorney, I've seen hyphenation of the child's name ordered much, much more often than the flat out denial of the NCP's petition (except in cases where the petitioning NCP has NOT been a consistent part of the child's life).

(This also does not mean that Bill Gates is responsible for the child )

 

[barbie77]

Also I was looking at the petition for change of name of minor and it says you would need a certified copy of child monors birth certificate attatched to the petition. So would that mean that first dad would need to get himself put on the birth cert. and then file the petition once thats been done? Also how will dad get a copy of the birth cert.? Mom wouldn't let him use it to get his daughter a passport before because she was being weird that he would take it and not give it back. Should dad legaly be able to have a copy of it for his own records? Also what would dad put as his reasoning for changing of the name? Just that he wants the childs name to reflect him as the father? I'm not sure if dad has other reasons I haven't asked him.

 

[Proserpina]

Hmmm....

...does Dad think that somehow not having his name means he's less of a father?

 

[barbie77]

(don't mind me stepping in here....)


The sad truth is that very often, a once-absent father only becomes interested in asserting his rights because Mom (or the State) is pushing for child support. In such situations, it's more about Dad's wallet and "ownership" of the child than the child's actual best interests.

The same is often true of such name-change petitions; Dad only becomes interested because child support is being pursued and gosh darn it if he has to pay for the kid, he wants the kid, and wants the kid to have his name.

See where I'm coming from?


(AJ - you know I'm not presuming to speak on your behalf, btw )

I see. That does make sense. Thank you!

I do know that mom has claimed a long time back when custody was established to try and make dad look bad that he wasn't in the picture early on even though he was. She even as early as last year was claiming that he never had her because i assume she wanted to try and get more support. Dad has the child evenly as much as mom does. Will even her accusations hurt his chances? could that possibly make dad look bad? Like he's one of thoes guys that all of a sudden has to pay so he wants to in a way "claim" the kid. This is not the situation at all.

 

[barbie77]

Hmmm....

...does Dad think that somehow not having his name means he's less of a father?

I don't know. he has always felt bad that he wasn't given the chance to be there for the birth and the fact that he wasn't able to get custody. He has talked more about changing her name since we've gotten married and now another child is on the way. That and her getting ready to go to school and will really be using it then. I really don't know.

 

[jharris352]

Honestly I can understand the father wanting the child to have his name and I can understand the whole hyphenation thing. There was a time, not too long ago, that legitimation meant that the child got the Dad's name period. But we are pretty far beyond that so Mom's name is important too.

This isn't a standard name change unless the Mother is willing to consent to it. He isn't going to be able to simply do a normal petition for it. He is going to have to petition the court to change the name, serve the Mother, and get the birth certificate from her.

The Name change forms you are looking at assume that both parents agree. This will, I suppose be contested, so it will be more of a law suit. You may be able to do it your self but you may need an attorney.

 

[Proserpina]

Honestly I can understand the father wanting the child to have his name and I can understand the whole hyphenation thing. There was a time, not too long ago, that legitimation meant that the child got the Dad's name period. But we are pretty far beyond that so Mom's name is important too.

This isn't a standard name change unless the Mother is willing to consent to it. He isn't going to be able to simply do a normal petition for it. He is going to have to petition the court to change the name, serve the Mother, and get the birth certificate from her.

The Name change forms you are looking at assume that both parents agree. This will, I suppose be contested, so it will be more of a law suit. You may be able to do it your self but you may need an attorney.

I agree an attorney would probably be a good idea for Dad, absolutely.

I do wonder though, if Dad is truly - and this means no offense to you, barbie, or your husband - thinking of kiddo's wellbeing in this particular matter.

Y'know?

 

[barbie77]

I get you Proserpina. I guess maybe dad feels left out or less important now that mom has full custody. I think it may be his way of establishing he is still important even if he can't be around as much due to the way the schedual will work once she's in school. I don't know i think dad has talked to mom about this issue already and she wanted kiddo to have her last name to "carry on her last name" since she's the last with it. Which is the only reason she wants her to have it. I think they've discussed hyphenating it as an actual option. Which dad isn't apposed to doing. I don't know about the fact that now we're having a family and everyone in it now has his last name (our baby will) I don't know if Dad wants to change her name because he wants her to feel more like the family. Is that a good reason? Honestly I don't know how a last name really effects the wellbeing of the child. It seems to me that it's more about what the parent wants either mom or dad.

So what sort of reasons would the judge consider a good enough one to change the childs last name to the fathers other than that he wants it? I'm not sure I understand why someone would change the childs last name other than they want to...

 

[army judge]

If the child's last name is important to a potential father, most of them marry the mother BEFORE they impregnate her.

 

[Proserpina]

If the child's last name is important to a potential father, most of them marry the mother BEFORE they impregnate her.

Which is also a valid point...

 

[barbie77]

If the child's last name is important to a potential father, most of them marry the mother BEFORE they impregnate her.

you're obviously not understanding what I thought I explained earlier! You can't marry someone that NEVER wants to marry you. She NEVER wanted to marry dad. Even when he tried to make it work and tried to marry her she wanted nothing to do with him! While they were dating and after she got pregnant, as short of a time that may have been, she was already cheating on him! Also if you're trying to say that sex before marrage is wrong don't waist your breath. I'm not hear for your moral views!

 

[army judge]

you're obviously not understanding what I thought I explained earlier! You can't marry someone that NEVER wants to marry you. She NEVER wanted to marry dad. Even when he tried to make it work and tried to marry her she wanted nothing to do with him! While they were dating and after she got pregnant, as short of a time that may have been, she was already cheating on him! Also if you're trying to say that sex before marrage is wrong don't waist your breath. I'm not hear for your moral views!

No, I understand your drivel and drool completely.

You and it aren't at all complicated.

No, I'm not saying that sex before marriage or with sheep is right or wrong.

I am thankful for it, because it allows me to enjoy a luxurious and oppulent lifestyle.

I hope people continue to do dumb stuff and commit crimes.


I've got a real sweet angle on these things and a law degree that allows me to pick pockets!!!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[barbie77]

I really wish they could come up with a NOT THANKED button! Cuz right about now i'd click it. say what you want you're opinion really means nothing to me when it is just that. You're opinion.

Dads been doing his research on the topic and has found some very useful information. and knows exactley what he needs to do now. I could post what he's found if its helpful to anyone.