changing childs last name

[barbie77]

Ok here's the story. Mom and dad had a child out of wedlock. Dad was not told child was born until after the fact. So Mom gave the child her last name. Also dad was not put on the birth cert. Dad and mom have since been to court so custody and child support was set up. dad signed paperwork stating that he is the father. What will dad have to do now if he would like to have his name put on the birth cert. and give the child his last name. From what he knows Mom may not want her to have his last name so the idea of hyphenating it is an option. Not sure how much the child will like that idea considering it will be lengthy and she may not want dads last name because of things mom has already said to her. What should dad do? He would like to have her last name changed early in her life considering she will be going to school he would like her to be able to be used to it and not have to go through any inconvenience with it. Dad really doesn't want to cause any problem

Would the courts look down on this?
Mom already has custody and she's trying to make sure the child has her last name too. It's like she is trying to have the child identify with her more? I don't know how to explain it exactley. It's like she is trying to have child more her child than both of theirs by controling the last name and custody. If that makes sense? The child does act different too because she knows mommy has custody and she has mommys last name. I don't think changing the last name would change this. Can someone help clarify what might be going on? she has also been saying things to the child to make dad out to be some sort of bad guy.

 

[Proserpina]

Dad should petition the court to have the birth certificate modified to reflect him being Dad, and at the same time request that kiddo's name is changed...if Mom objects, hyphenation will be the likely result.

Real quick though - how old is the child in question? I can't remember if you've mentioned the age before.

 

[barbie77]

Thank you. The child is 5. She will be going to school this year. Also if there a fee for the name change or birth cert.?

 

[Proserpina]

There may be, yep - have Dad call and ask what it is

 

[barbie77]

ok thank you! Thought there would be.

 

[barbie77]

Also, I'd like your opinion on this one. If little ones already aware of this possible change and has said she'd rather not have dads last name. Do you think dad should still do it? I mean she's only 5 so I don't really know how far her opion now would be remembered later. Do you think she would resent dad later for him changing her last name?

 

[Proserpina]

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say...

..five year olds do NOT get to decide grown up matters

As you know, the wants and needs of a five year old change by the minute and I think the chance of kiddo resenting Daddy for that later are very slim!

 

[barbie77]

Very good point! Thank you! Just wanted the feel good of knowing someone else feels the same way!

 

[jharris352]

I doubt the father has a right to give the child his last name. If he wanted that he should have married the mother. The mother has as much right or more to give the child her last name as he does. I'll check the codes.

 

[army judge]

I also doubt that this sperm donor cares what happens to the child's name or moreover, the child.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Proserpina]

I doubt the father has a right to give the child his last name. If he wanted that he should have married the mother. The mother has as much right or more to give the child her last name as he does. I'll check the codes.

Sure he does - and marriage (in this case) wouldn't have changed it.

He has every right to ask the court, and there's a good chance he'll be successful

 

[barbie77]

I also doubt that this sperm donor cares what happens to the child's name or moreover, the child. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Hold on there AJ watch watch what you say when you know nothing about the situation! He was not just a sperm donor. And quite frankly thats very rude! He does care what happens to the child and is very involved! He loves the child very much and spends lots of time with her! He's not some dead beat! So where you're coming from with the sperm donor comment you're WAY off!

I doubt the father has a right to give the child his last name. If he wanted that he should have married the mother. The mother has as much right or more to give the child her last name as he does. I'll check the codes.

Also jharris352 you can't marry someone who doesn't want to marry you!!! That's just silly! He had tried to make it work with the mother but it just didnt. Also the mother shouldn't and doesn't have more rights to the child than the father! The father would have been there when the child was born if maybe mom would have had someone let him know!! Point is Dad is Dad and has every right to that child and every right to want her to have his last name!

And thank you Proserpina! You said everything I just said! I just had to get a few things off my chest!!

 

[Proserpina]

I also doubt that this sperm donor cares what happens to the child's name or moreover, the child.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

In all fairness, this Dad is actually making an effort to become a bigger part of his child's life..(via barbie's post history).

Just lettin' y'all know

 

[army judge]

In all fairness, this Dad is actually making an effort to become a bigger part of his child's life..(via barbie's post history).

Just lettin' y'all know

So much I want to say, I have so many feelings on cases such as these. But, I shall HUSH MY EAGER FINGERS and TYPE NO MORE!!!

 

[Proserpina]

So much I want to say, I have so many feelings on cases such as these. But, I shall HUSH MY EAGER FINGERS and TYPE NO MORE!!!

I have a feeling you and I are in agreement more than we each may realize

 

[jharris352]

Proserpina, I looked up the law on the subject and he certainly has the right to ask, but what makes you think that he has a good chance at it? I didn't see anything in the law that said he would succeed, it just says he can ask and the judge will make a decision based upon the best interests of the child-not the dad. Further, he isn't the primary custodian so it's probably more important that the child's name match the mom's.

Barbie, you may FEEL that the Dad has as much rights to the child as the Mom but that simply isn't the legal reality when Mom has primary physical custody. I wasn't being mean when I said they should marry, nor was I commenting on what was possible. But as long as Mom has primary physical custody and the child isn't the product of a marriage, I would be surprised if the judge will overrule the Mother if she objects to the name change.

To get on the birth certificate all he has to do is prove paternity. As soon as he does that he can establish child support and visitation, no problem. But changing the child's name isn't as easy as you want it to be. You asked for legal advice, there you have it.

It sounds like you wanted us to back you up instead of tell you what we think about it. Hope that helps.

 

[Proserpina]

Proserpina, I looked up the law on the subject and he certainly has the right to ask, but what makes you think that he has a good chance at it? I didn't see anything in the law that said he would succeed, it just says he can ask and the judge will make a decision based upon the best interests of the child-not the dad. Further, he isn't the primary custodian so it's probably more important that the child's name match the mom's.

I think because Dad DOES have an ongoing relationship with the child (even if he's NCP), he has a very good chance of getting the name hyphenated at the very least. This is, as you know, quite commonly ordered.

I don't think it will be a slam-dunk by any means - but I think he has a better than fair chance of success.

Does that make any more sense? (I do hope so )

 

[barbie77]

AJ I would absolutely LOVE it if you could explain to to me why you think that the, as you call him "sperm donor" doesnt cares what happens to the child's name or moreover, the child? I'm so curious to know why you have that opinion.

 

[Proserpina]

AJ I would absolutely LOVE it if you could explain to to me why you think that the, as you call him "sperm donor" doesnt cares what happens to the child's name or moreover, the child? I'm so curious to know why you have that opinion.

(don't mind me stepping in here....)


The sad truth is that very often, a once-absent father only becomes interested in asserting his rights because Mom (or the State) is pushing for child support. In such situations, it's more about Dad's wallet and "ownership" of the child than the child's actual best interests.

The same is often true of such name-change petitions; Dad only becomes interested because child support is being pursued and gosh darn it if he has to pay for the kid, he wants the kid, and wants the kid to have his name.

See where I'm coming from?


(AJ - you know I'm not presuming to speak on your behalf, btw )

 

[barbie77]

Proserpina, I looked up the law on the subject and he certainly has the right to ask, but what makes you think that he has a good chance at it? I didn't see anything in the law that said he would succeed, it just says he can ask and the judge will make a decision based upon the best interests of the child-not the dad. Further, he isn't the primary custodian so it's probably more important that the child's name match the mom's.

Barbie, you may FEEL that the Dad has as much rights to the child as the Mom but that simply isn't the legal reality when Mom has primary physical custody. I wasn't being mean when I said they should marry, nor was I commenting on what was possible. But as long as Mom has primary physical custody and the child isn't the product of a marriage, I would be surprised if the judge will overrule the Mother if she objects to the name change.

To get on the birth certificate all he has to do is prove paternity. As soon as he does that he can establish child support and visitation, no problem. But changing the child's name isn't as easy as you want it to be. You asked for legal advice, there you have it.

It sounds like you wanted us to back you up instead of tell you what we think about it. Hope that helps.

Don't know if you did but if you would have read the first post you would have read that Dad has already established paternity, visitation, and child support. From what I thought if dad would have been there when mom had the child and signed as the father on the birth certificate then I thought the child would have gotten his last name then....so if he's the father I really don't see reason as to why the child shouldn't have the fathers last name? It may just be I don't know enought about this situation. When parents have children out of wedlock is it normal that if the dad is present at birth the child gets his last name? I don't want backed up. I'm just here for facts and advice. I'm not sure I understand why dad shouldn't have his child have his last name just based apon who has primary custody. Mom already has primary custody shouldn't dad at least get to give her his last name? what effects would that have on the childs relationship between dad and mom? When mom has the child primarily and the child has her last name couldn't that be considered her trying to hurt dad and chids relationship? Or something like that? I may be way off and by no means do I claim to know what I'm talking about here I'm just asking so i know. And so dad knows really.. thank you. I do appreciate the advice.