can my wife keep me from seeing my child if she accused me of drug use

[datguy]

My wife and I are separated and she won't allow visitation for me and my son cause of alleged drug use ? I'll admit we both smoked marijuana and stilldo and ive had a history of smoking meth but able to stay clean. Now she wants to drug test me before I can see my son I'd greatly appreciate the feedback

 

[army judge]

My wife and I are separated and she won't allow visitation for me and my son cause of alleged drug use ? I'll admit we both smoked marijuana and stilldo and ive had a history of smoking meth but able to stay clean. Now she wants to drug test me before I can see my son I'd greatly appreciate the feedback

She can only drug test you, IF you go along with her little scheme.
You should speak with a local lawyer and file for divorce, seeking an emergency visitation and custody order.
Once the divorce is granted, the exact, permanent order can be negotiated and created.

Without a court order, she can keep refusing yoru requests.

That, however, is a benefit to you.

Each and every time she refuses to allow you to see your son, document it.
Heck, if she's stupid enough, get her to put it in writing, for HER protection:


I, Sweet Susie, officially deny my estranged husband, Donald Druggie, access to our son.
Dated: August 5th. 2014 Signed: Sweet Susie

Every time she says NO, is one more small step for you.
You need a lawyer, if you're serious about seeing your son.
Some people can do the legal work themselves, most are little Wise Acres.

 

[disagreeable]

The point being you were a perfectly fine father until she left and wanted a divorce. Now you are the Devil incarnate.

 

[Proserpina]

I'm not sure I've ever disagreed so strongly here.

If Mom has stopped using she has every right to be wary and if Dad is foolish enough to walk into court and say "But she was also using before we separated", he may just find that he's given supervised visitation with random UIs before he can even turn around and blink. The court is not going to hold this against Mom - if anything, it's going to paint her as a saint who can drop clean whenever she's required to .. and you know she's going to make darned sure she will drop clean.

Mom refusing access doesn't help OP. It will be painted as Mom looking after her child.

Mom asking for drug testing doesn't help OP. It will also be painted as Mom looking after her child.

Filing for anything vaguely emergency-like is absolutely the wrong move. There is no emergency here - why that has even been suggested I do not know, since it places Dad right in the judge's crosshairs and he's going to look even worse.

Now, if I'm missing some sort of masked play where you're actually trying to help Mom , that's one thing. But so far? The only thing I can agree with is Dad filing for divorce. Otherwise, Sweet Susie is going to come out of this wearing a halo.

 

[shrinkmaster]

If you were both maybe still are smoking pot it could be issue but the feeling son pot are not as bad as a few years ago. Your history of meth use is an issue. How long have you been off meth? the time frame could make or break things

 

[CdwJava]

I think I've heard this argument before ... oh yeah, just about every day! When I hear statements akin to, "I used to use occasionally, but don't now," it has been my experience that this statement is a lie. A fib. A falsehood. When one understands the nature of crystal meth, one learns that use is rarely an occasional occurrence, and absent a significant period of NON use (usually as a result of treatment of some sort), further use is quite likely. Recidivism is outrageously high for meth.

Datguy, if mom were to get the court to agree to testing (and she just might be able to get this) what will the results be? When was the last time you used?

Oh, and if there is no custody and visitation order, mom is under no legal obligation to grant unsupervised visitation to the child(ren) in AZ. So, maybe it's time to start the divorce and custody process.