Bifurcation of Divorce

[erynn178]

Jurisdiction

Missouri

I am trying to settle with my ex wife and her lawyer still hasn't sent over settlement paperwork. He emailed me 12 weeks ago with the settlement guidelines and then went to court and told our judge that he'd need 4-6 weeks to prepare the paperwork. Fast forward 8 weeks and he never sent the papers and then told the judge I should have them the next day, and it's now been three weeks and I still don't have them.
What can I do? I have emailed his office and gotten no response. Can I request the divorce be bifurcated at this point and if so how do I do so? I want to move on with my life and I believe my ex is succeeding in dragging this divorce out as she originally told me she planned too.

 

[adjusterjack]

You refer to your "ex" wife. Does that mean that the divorce decree has already been filed with the court and all that's pending is the settlement?

If yes, why don't you draw up the settlement agreement per the guidelines?

And submit them to the lawyer with a copy to your ex, giving her a deadline after which you will submit it to the judge and ask the judge to intervene.

Your ex wife and her lawyer are your mortal enemies and will do or not do whatever it takes to make you angry enough to make mistakes and give them the upper hand.

My ex tried that with me but I was doing all my own legal work while she was running up many thousands of attorney fees until she choked on the bills, fired her lawyer and settled with me.

To win, you have to know how to play the game. If you don't know how to play the game, you hire your own lawyer and then two lawyers laugh all the way to their banks.

 

[erynn178]

This is all sound advice and definitely something I can do, the only thing I am unsure of is she wants allimony and according to our state guidelines isn't really entitled to it. If I agree to pay per temporary alimony I don't know how to come up with the monetary amount I'd owe.

You refer to your "ex" wife. Does that mean that the divorce decree has already been filed with the court and all that's pending is the settlement?

If yes, why don't you draw up the settlement agreement per the guidelines?

And submit them to the lawyer with a copy to your ex, giving her a deadline after which you will submit it to the judge and ask the judge to intervene.

Your ex wife and her lawyer are your mortal enemies and will do or not do whatever it takes to make you angry enough to make mistakes and give them the upper hand.

My ex tried that with me but I was doing all my own legal work while she was running up many thousands of attorney fees until she choked on the bills, fired her lawyer and settled with me.

To win, you have to know how to play the game. If you don't know how to play the game, you hire your own lawyer and then two lawyers laugh all the way to their banks.

 

[adjusterjack]

I don't understand.

This:

He emailed me 12 weeks ago with the settlement guidelines and then went to court and told our judge that he'd need 4-6 weeks to prepare the paperwork.

Implies that there was an agreement between you and your ex as to the "settlement."

This:

I am unsure of is she wants allimony and according to our state guidelines isn't really entitled to it. If I agree to pay per temporary alimony

Suggests that you are not in agreement with the idea of alimony.

Which means the settlement is not a done deal.

If you don't want to (or can't) pay alimony, your option is to leave it out of the settlement agreement and wait for the firestorm, if any.

If the guidelines say no, a judge may also say no.

But I suspect that they will jerk you around for many more months. Be careful about that. I've lost count of how many people I've known who caved, at great cost, "just to get it over with."

I'm not a lawyer, so the above is not "legal" advice.

Does she have a job and earn a living? Is there a large disparity between your incomes? Are there children involved?

 

[erynn178]

We make similar incomes and she ultimately wouldn't qualify for spousal support. I originally told her lawyer that I would agree to her terms and we then went to court and her attorney said he needed time to prepare the paperwork, the next hearing was based on that amount of time that he asked for. But when that hearing came along no settlement papers had been sent still. So basically it's been 12 weeks and I still have received nothing to sign. I was considering requesting a bifurcation of the divorce but there's no clear cut process to do that in my state.

I don't understand.

This:



Implies that there was an agreement between you and your ex as to the "settlement."

This:



Suggests that you are not in agreement with the idea of alimony.

Which means the settlement is not a done deal.

If you don't want to (or can't) pay alimony, your option is to leave it out of the settlement agreement and wait for the firestorm, if any.

If the guidelines say no, a judge may also say no.

But I suspect that they will jerk you around for many more months. Be careful about that. I've lost count of how many people I've known who caved, at great cost, "just to get it over with."

I'm not a lawyer, so the above is not "legal" advice.

Does she have a job and earn a living? Is there a large disparity between your incomes? Are there children involved?

 

[adjusterjack]

Not clear. Has the decree been entered or is that what you mean by settlement?

Bifurcation is allowed in Missouri. It means that both parties in a divorce can legally divide their divorce into two stages. The first part satisfies the grounds for the divorce. The marriage is terminated at that point.

It also means that the financial aspects of the divorce such as child custody, visitation, child support, alimony or other contentious issues that may have stalled or that have become major sticking points will be finalized at a later date.

Again, you refer to your "ex" wife. Please clear that up. If the decree has already been filed with the court then the divorce is already bifurcated and you're working on the financial aspects.

If that's not the case, then she is not your "ex" wife, yet.

 

[erynn178]

No the decree hasn't been entered yet, I'm still waiting for the settlement agreement to be sent. I'm not in full agreement of the contentious issues but do want the divorce part done. With that being said I don't know how to request a bifurcation since Missouri has no particular form (like a state like CA does). So do I just put it in writing that that's what I'm seeking? I just need to figure out what to file to submit this request.

 

[adjusterjack]

You would have to file a motion in the proper form and serve a copy on her attorney. They will have an opportunity to respond to it.

You're essentially requesting a separate hearing or trial on just the dissolution of the marriage.

They may have grounds to oppose your motion. At any rate you will be adding many months to the ordeal while that is happening. I can't say whether it's a good idea or not.

Might be time to consult a lawyer of your own. At least just to get more information about the pros and cons of bifurcation.

 

[zddoodah]

What can I do?

I'm sure you can do lots of things, but what do you want to do? Short of preparing the papers yourself, what do you think you could do that will further whatever goals you have?

Can I request the divorce be bifurcated at this point and if so how do I do so?

You can request anything you like. No one here is a divorce attorney in Missouri, so no one here will know specifics about procedures. Why would bifurcation be of any benefit to you at this point?

Kinda sounds like you're in need of an attorney.