Are dropped charges enough to loose my son?

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bestdad2008 said:
Your "ex" is an active military officer, what is her rank? Yes, she is a captain.
How old is your son? 14
Were you married when your son was born? No
How long were you married to this person?
How long has she been in the military? around 16 years or so.
Does your son have a military dependent's ID card? yes.
Do you have a military dependent's ID card? yes, but not by her.

Id like to explain my answers in more detail but not in this thread. Please let me know what you think so far and how we can exchange more information else where. I really appreciate you giving me your opinion.
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That's all I needed to know.

She has to support the child.

The military will order her to support the child.

She's been bamboozling you.

Before I go further, you're not active duty, too, are you?
 
bestdad2008 said:
no, Im not
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You can't be retired military.

I'm trying to understand why you have a dependent's ID card, but not from the mother.

Are you married to another active duty person, who is not the mother of this child?

The only other way you could have one, is to be a dependent child, under the age of 18 (or 22 in some cases).
 
I'm remarried to someone in the military.

I am afraid to say anything to the military because if I do and she ends up having to pay child support, she will run to her attorney and flip the situation on me. Once I end up in court, she will say something like I wasn't willing to cooperate with her and that I disregarded the current parenting plan/courts orders and did what ever I wanted to do. Which is went straight up to jag and got a different order."

I know that it may seem like I keep coming up with this or that, but I'm just trying to see this from every angle. Her attorney WILL find something to say about what ever I do. Example: If I say "Hello, how are you today? The sky is a nice shade of blue."
Her attorney will flip the situation around and say "Your honor, this man has played tricks on the court by confusing us with mind games. He pretends to ask how we are doing, all the while, he was DEMANDING that the sky be blue! Just because he felt like it. He didn't have any regard for anyone else's feelings! Maybe we would have liked a little rain today. But no! This man has hijacked the sky and forced it to be blue!"
 
bestdad2008 said:
I'm remarried to someone in the military.

I am afraid to say anything to the military because if I do and she ends up having to pay child support, she will run to her attorney and flip the situation on me. Once I end up in court, she will say something like I wasn't willing to cooperate with her and that I disregarded the current parenting plan/courts orders and did what ever I wanted to do. Which is went straight up to jag and got a different order."

I know that it may seem like I keep coming up with this or that, but I'm just trying to see this from every angle. Her attorney WILL find something to say about what ever I do. Example: If I say "Hello, how are you today? The sky is a nice shade of blue."
Her attorney will flip the situation around and say "Your honor, this man has played tricks on the court by confusing us with mind games. He pretends to ask how we are doing, all the while, he was DEMANDING that the sky be blue! Just because he felt like it. He didn't have any regard for anyone else's feelings! Maybe we would have liked a little rain today. But no! This man has hijacked the sky and forced it to be blue!"
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Wow, this is rough.
You do know that the military will order her to pay court ordered child support.
But, your kid is almost an adult, anyway.
Child support is hardly worth the effort at this point.

Does your current spouse have children living in your home?
What rank is she?
Your former spouse isn't stationed on the same base you live, is she?

Look, the kid is almost an adult.
He'll be 18 in no time.
I don't know (nor do I want to know) what happened over these last 16 years.
My suggestion is let sleeping dogs lie.

I think there are many, many things lurking in the shadows from these past 16 years.
You have your son, and he's safe.
You're married to a woman that loves you.
You love her.

This isn't worth the fight.
She'd lose, because she committed UCMJ violations.
You on the other hand, aren't subject to the UCMJ.
You are wearing Kevlar in this deal.
I've pretty much filled in the blanks.
I hope your kid hasn't heard any of this.
 
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Thank you Army Judge for your feed back.
No, my son hasn't heard anything. I tried to shield him from all of this.
And, you are right, I was thinking about letting sleeping dogs lie, just got/am a little confused by the current situation. I know I have been driving everyone a little crazy with all of my questions. (Sorry about that.) But, once again, I just wanted to say thank you for your opinions and feedback.
 
bestdad2008 said:
Thank you Army Judge for your feed back.
No, my son hasn't heard anything. I tried to shield him from all of this.
And, you are right, I was thinking about letting sleeping dogs lie, just got/am a little confused by the current situation. I know I have been driving everyone a little crazy with all of my questions. (Sorry about that.) But, once again, I just wanted to say thank you for your opinions and feedback.
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No need to apologize,but thanks anyway.

You don't drive me crazy.

I enjoy the mental exercise.
 
bestdad2008 said:
Thank you Army Judge for your feed back.
No, my son hasn't heard anything. I tried to shield him from all of this.
And, you are right, I was thinking about letting sleeping dogs lie, just got/am a little confused by the current situation. I know I have been driving everyone a little crazy with all of my questions. (Sorry about that.) But, once again, I just wanted to say thank you for your opinions and feedback.
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One more thing for you to consider about all of this.

If you go to her commander and say that she hasn't paid child support, and isn't trying to pay child support; she'll have BIG problems.

You can also go to JAG and ask them how do you get an officer to pay child support.

They'd be very interested to know that she hasn't paid any in all of these years.

You can get the funds paid into a trust for for your son, when he turns 18.

She can't come after you for protecting your son.

Was she married at the time she had your son?

If she was, I have some news for you.
 
Thank you army judge for your input.
Here are the answers to your questions, once again I'd like to say I'm not trying to make anyone upset with my questions:confused : .......

That one is hard to say. My answer may sound confusing and yes, may appear to have some "shadows". This is very understandable. Although I don't mind explaining more in detail, I can not say to much on this public websight for in fear of retaliation. I understand you do not wish to hear all the details so I'm not going to bore you with that. (sorry, just had to say this)

I am unsure if she was married at the time when she had my son, we were not together during the time of his birth. If she was married, what are the consequences of that?
 
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bestdad2008 said:
Thank you army judge for your input.
Here are the answers to your questions, once again I'd like to say I'm not trying to make anyone upset with my questions:confused : .......

I am unsure if she was married at the time when she had my son, we were not together during the time of his birth. If she was married, what are the consequences of that?
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I don't mind learning about your case, I just don't want you being too specific on here.

The consequences for her COULD be monumental.
She'd be tried under article 134 (General Article) and usually article 133 (Conduct Unbecoming an Officer)
The UCMJ prohibits and criminalizes ADULTERY for active duty service members.
She could be brought before a general courts-martial and punished.
If convicted, and people rarely aren't, she'd be discharged with a less than honorable, maybe worse.

Sometimes, an officer can bargain away their rank and pension, and get administratively discharged.
This is not a good route for the kid.





Article 134— (Adultery is charged under this general article)
​

Elements.

(1) That the accused wrongfully had sexual intercourse with a certain person;

(2) That, at the time, the accused or the other person was married to someone else; and

(3) That, under the circumstances, the conduct of the accused was to the prejudice of good order and discipline in the armed forces or was of a nature to bring discredit upon the armed forces.

Explanation.

(1) Nature of offense. Adultery is clearly unacceptable conduct, and it reflects adversely on the service record of the military member.

(2) Conduct prejudicial to good order and discipline or of a nature to bring discredit upon the armed forces. To constitute an offense under the UCMJ, the adulterous conduct must either be directly prejudicial to good order and discipline or service discrediting. Adulterous conduct that is directly prejudicial includes conduct that has an obvious, and measurably divisive effect on unit or organization discipline, morale, or cohesion, or is clearly detrimental to the authority or stature of or respect toward a servicemember. Adultery may also be service discrediting, even though the conduct is only indirectly or remotely prejudicial to good order and discipline. Discredit means to injure the reputation of the armed forces and includes adulterous conduct that has a tendency, because of its open or notorious nature, to bring the service into disrepute, make it subject to public ridicule, or lower it in public esteem. While adulterous conduct that is private and discreet in nature may not be service discrediting by this standard, under the circumstances, it may be determined to be conduct prejudicial to good order and discipline. Commanders should consider all relevant circumstances, including but not limited to the following factors, when determining whether adulterous acts are prejudicial to good order and discipline or are of a nature to bring discredit upon the armed forces:

(a) The accused's marital status, military rank, grade, or position;

(b) The co-actor's marital status, military rank, grade, and position, or relationship to the armed forces;

(c) The military status of the accused's spouse or the spouse of co-actor, or their relationship to the armed forces;

(d) The impact, if any, of the adulterous relationship on the ability of the accused, the co-actor, or the spouse of either to perform their duties in support of the armed forces;

(e) The misuse, if any, of government time and resources to facilitate the commission of the conduct;

(f) Whether the conduct persisted despite counseling or orders to desist; the flagrancy of the conduct, such as whether any notoriety ensued; and whether the adulterous act was accompanied by other violations of the UCMJ;

(g) The negative impact of the conduct on the units or organizations of the accused, the co-actor or the spouse of either of them, such as a detrimental effect on unit or organization morale, teamwork, and efficiency;

(h) Whether the accused or co-actor was legally separated; and

(i) Whether the adulterous misconduct involves an ongoing or recent relationship or is remote in time.

(3) Marriage. A marriage exists until it is dissolved in accordance with the laws of a competent state or foreign jurisdiction.

(4) Mistake of fact. A defense of mistake of fact exists if the accused had an honest and reasonable belief either that the accused and the co-actor were both unmarried, or that they were lawfully married to each other. If this defense is raised by the evidence, then the burden of proof is upon the United States to establish that the accused's belief was unreasonable or not honest.".
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