Hello. I have a girlfriend of eight months, she is 16 and I am 17. We both live in tennessee. She is being psychologically abused at home and is thinking about running away from home and staying at my house because she does not feel safe at home. If she does so and her parents call the police, can they force her to return home if she doesn't want to? I have looked it up but could not get a concrete answer for any laws in my state. Some sites have explained it as if she was filed as a runaway that she Department of Health and Human Services would be called and if they believed the returning home would be unfit, they would hold temporary custody and would place the teen with a relative, adult friend, or foster care. We have discussed her leaving and coming to my house and calling DHSS and her being placed into our home. Would this be legally possible? Thank you.
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abused minor considering running away
- Thread Starter Gatsby
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KatDini
Well-Known Member
Yes, the police can make her return home. If things are as bad as she says, why isn't she calling DHHS herself or approaching an adult at school? And no, DHHS won't put a girlfriend in a boy/girl-friend's house. Don't be ridiculous.
Because she hasn't known that what her mom is doing is abnormal until today. "Adult friend" (My mother) I know is a possible relocation in Michigan, so Im not being "Ridiculous"
If all the replies are uninformed, flawed, and as rude as yours is, then this site is no better than posting on Yahoo Answers and that's sad.
I finally found a few reputable sites that say that a minor running away isn't illegal in Tennessee. Actually, in all of the US, only 9 states declares it illegal( and if its not illegal, police can't get involved )
KatDini
Well-Known Member
Alrighty then. Since you know everything, I guess it's time you move out of Mom's house and pay your own bills, huh?
army judge
Super Moderator
She's a minor. You're a minor, too, except when it comes to criminal laws. If you commit any crime, you'll be charged as an adult. Your gal pal, on the other hand, is a minor under all circumstances.
If she ran away, her problems would be minuscule compared to problems the adults (and you) in your household COULD face.
If her parents don't want her in your presence, persisting in seeing her will get you into the biggest jam you've ever seen.
Yes, you want to help. All you need do is call "911" and report who, what, where, when, and how, she's being ABUSED.
Please for both of your sakes, stay away from her. In the eyes of many prosecutors what you're doing is encouraging a child to be delinquent. You disagree, and I understand why you would.
As a lawyer, I'm about to offer you some FREE legal advice. Don't get yourself into a situation where you could end up being branded as a sexual predator or sexual abuser for the rest of your life.
I'm sure you don't want your mm, dad, siblings, other relatives to get burned by this, so please stay away from her until, she's 28 years old.
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disagreeable
Well-Known Member
Yeah, judges remove minors from their parents and assign them to live with their minor boyfriends all the time. It is the only way they have found to keep up the rates of teen pregnancy.:roflmao::coolio::dgrin
cbg
Super Moderator
Just because it's not a crime for her to run away doesn't mean it isn't a crime for your family to harbor a runaway. Or that her parents can't come and drag her back.
shrinkmaster
Well-Known Member
Let me try to tackle this. Where it might not be unlawful to run away it does not mean Police will not drag her back home or charge the adult given her safe haven with crimes. Your not seeing the whole picture. Even if she was to legally escape home there is no way under any circumstance she could live with you. Her best option is to report her parents to children's services or ask someone else to. If your Mom is that concerned then she can make report and do so anonymously
She just figured out she was being abused today? How was it she finally came to this realization? I'm going to be blunt. If it was that hard for her to determine she was even being abused and it is not physical, do not expect any possible exception for providing safe haven to occur here. This sounds less like abuse and more like a 16 year old who just doesn't like the house rules or how her parents parent. Those situations are a dime a dozen.
The fact that you are involved romantically guarantees your home would not be considered an appropriate placement. I don't doubt she is feeling tension at home and perhaps her parents are not adept at handling a teenager. Rather than have her run away, she should talk to her guidance counselor. Her GC can either get her the counseling she needs or point her in the direction of services in your area. They are also mandatory reporters so if there is abuse, they are trained to handle it. You, her 17 year old bf of a few months, are not.
The fact that you are involved romantically guarantees your home would not be considered an appropriate placement. I don't doubt she is feeling tension at home and perhaps her parents are not adept at handling a teenager. Rather than have her run away, she should talk to her guidance counselor. Her GC can either get her the counseling she needs or point her in the direction of services in your area. They are also mandatory reporters so if there is abuse, they are trained to handle it. You, her 17 year old bf of a few months, are not.
CdwJava
Moderator
Probably 3/4 of the teenagers in the US believe their parents are "psychologically" abusing them in some way. This belief is not a legal justification for running away and will only result in your and/or your parents getting into legal trouble for harboring a runaway minor child.
Yes. And your parents can potentially be charged with a crime.
That's possible, but, being "psychologically abused" ain't likely to cut it. If she is being seriously neglected or physically abused, then call the police or child services.
Assuming for a moment that there were severe neglect or physical or sexual abuse occurring in the home, there is no way in heck that DHSS will place a minor child with her romantic interest! That will not happen!
If she needs to be rescued from abuse, call the authorities. If her parents merely are enforcing rules that she doesn't like (perhaps, such as seeing you), then the two of you are out of luck.
CdwJava
Moderator
I can't wait to hear the answer to this ... uh ... what does she consider "abnormal?" And, of course, "abnormal" does not necessarily equal "unlawful" or even "abuse."
CdwJava
Moderator
You're right! It's NOT a crime, but it IS a status offense for which the authorities can drag her back home and charge those who conceal her from her parents and contribute to her status of being out of her parents' control.
Your girlie friend won't get charged with a crime just for running off in a huff, but you and your parents might if you let her stay with you or hide her in some way.
disagreeable
Well-Known Member
My son started last week telling me it was illegal for me to take away his computer and cell phone as punishment, because he paid for them with money he earned. I gave him the free copy of important city numbers and my cell phone and advised him to call and discuss that with the police.
I
She was hit throughout her childhood up until this past year but she thought that it was normal so she didn't know it was abuse. She is tormented and made fun by her mother of because she has cut herself before. Don't assume you know the situation and go off that assumption, pal. Think before you type. I was asking legal advice. As in do any laws state that a runaway would be taken home and I found the answer already. I realize now that the custody would go to another family member.
shrinkmaster
Well-Known Member
Ok I was on your side (somewhat) at first only because forums can get nasty sometimes and people like you are just looking for answers and sometimes we get out of line. However the more you post the more I change my view and feel this is more about what you want! Here are things for you to read, consider and, understand
1. She knew hitting was wrong regardless if it has been going on since day one. There are enough films, movies, PSA's, school lessons and more that say otherwise so don't go there!
2. If shes cutting herself why has no one called Children's services? Who knows about this?
3. Legal answers (what you sought) doe snot come from a forum site even legal forums! REAL legal advice comes from an Attorney yo share and Attorney/Client relationship with. (see disclaimer at bottom of every page)
4. This is NOT YOUR issue! If you want to help her then file an abuse report or ask an adult (like your Mom) to do so.
5. She will NOT live with you and its unlikely she will be removed at all. If she is removed it may not be close to home and/or she may not be allowed contact with you. If she is removed its very likely Children's services will try to reunite her with her family.
6. If her parents catch wind or even suspect you or your family had anything to do with call Children's services they can forbid contact with you and your family. If they do its legal and you nor your family have any control over this.
to name a few.
1. She knew hitting was wrong regardless if it has been going on since day one. There are enough films, movies, PSA's, school lessons and more that say otherwise so don't go there!
2. If shes cutting herself why has no one called Children's services? Who knows about this?
3. Legal answers (what you sought) doe snot come from a forum site even legal forums! REAL legal advice comes from an Attorney yo share and Attorney/Client relationship with. (see disclaimer at bottom of every page)
4. This is NOT YOUR issue! If you want to help her then file an abuse report or ask an adult (like your Mom) to do so.
5. She will NOT live with you and its unlikely she will be removed at all. If she is removed it may not be close to home and/or she may not be allowed contact with you. If she is removed its very likely Children's services will try to reunite her with her family.
6. If her parents catch wind or even suspect you or your family had anything to do with call Children's services they can forbid contact with you and your family. If they do its legal and you nor your family have any control over this.
to name a few.
CdwJava
Moderator
Or, so she has told you ... her characterization of it may not be the complete truth. I've seen enough out-and-out lies to be skeptical of taking her word for it, alone.
If she's cutting, that's a sign of some other issues. She needs help. Running away wouldn't solve anything.
And, again, what she sees as "torment" may be nothing of the sort. Teenagers tend to have a skewed - and often melodramatic - sense of the world about them.
Right back at ya ...
You have not provided any information that would lead us to believe that the state taking temporary custody of her is even a possibility. So, I doubt that she will go anywhere.
Do you know her? Did she tell you she knew? No. She told me directly that her mother had hit her before and I told her it was abuse. She said she thought every parent hit their kid. I had to look up the definition of physical abuse and show her. Why do you assume you know her and her knowledge on abuse? You're childish. Also, I'm not arguing with everyone because I'm going to do whatever I want. I arguing because you all assume you know what situation she is in.
army judge
Super Moderator
Okay, everyone has had his or her say.
Its time to lock this thread before it degenerates further into useless bickering.
Its time to lock this thread before it degenerates further into useless bickering.
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