17 year old Wants To Terminate Visitation

[Simonfitz]

I am a 17 year-old teenager that wants to terminate visitation with my father on account of abuse and a concussion he gave me during my first unsupervised visit last weekend less than 24 hours into the visit and numerous other cases of abuse during the 25 years he was with my mother. He has 2 counts of domestic violence and is on probation. My 19 year-old sister will be filing charges for attempted murder, for when he tried to drown her in dirty dishwater on August 21st. There was a police report filed in August but because of my mother's concerns with financial stability the police only wrote down one of the many incidents that occured including, but not limited to trying to drown my sister, breaking glass bottles over my mother's head, chasing myself while calling me a "c**ksucking a**hole", shoving my oldest sister to the ground when she tried to stop him from chasing me, chasing two of my adult sisters across the yard twice while calling them "f***ing c**ts", and breaking the door down after we locked him out after which he decided he wanted a book to read.
On numerous other occasions I have heard him threaten my mother with her life and "going after" the children if she tried to divorce him. Last Saturday June 16th he gave me a concussion, however the police did not charge him with anything because they asked me several questions to which I responded I'm not sure, I was just worried about protecting my little brothers and sister and now they are saying that I admitted to getting in my father's "space" and doing things that either didn't happen or my younger brother and sister did. So even though I never touched my father, they're saying that him shoving me against a wall and causing a concussion was justified because he only "pushed" me out of his space. The CPS social worker has been swamped with five similar cases and I will be forced to go again if she doesn't finish the investigation by Thursday and she needs to get contact with him before then and the last time CPS was called it took them nearly two weeks to get contact with him because he makes himself unavailable for interviews and arrests.
My Mom was told yesterday that if CPS finds him guilty of child abuse, they will put him on a central registry as an offender but it's still up to the police to press charges and they are not because it's just a "domestic situation".

 

[shrinkmaster]

You alone cannot terminate visitation the court has to do that. If he has been abusive then contact both Police and childrens services

 

[guestposter]

the police came out that day and took us to the station where my Mom picked us up but they are not pressing charges because they are saying it's my fault that he became angry. They told me that he said I was repeatedly in his space and they believe him. I was still shook up when they talked to me probably a combination of the concussion and protect mode (for my younger sibs) but I don't remember telling the officer that my father told the truth regarding his "space".

Children's Protective Services are saying that it is clearly abuse because my father admitted to pushing me into a wall with the police. They haven't finished their investigation but expect to charge him with abuse which from where they sit puts him on a central registry. They said the police are the ones that have to press charges so basically, he's gong to get away with giving me a concussion because they don't want to mess with a "little domestic dispute"

His probation officer talked to my Mom and she doesn't understand why charges haven't been pressed against my father either. She has seen the police report but can't do anything with it until they decide to press charges.

 

[Simonfitz]

both CPS and police have been involved. CPS is saying that even when they find him guilty of child abuse they do not press charges but only put him on a central registry. They say the police have to press charges and the police don't want to hold my father responsible for being abusive because it's just a "domestic dispute". Is there anywhere else I can go to make him accountable for what he has done for 25+ years and continues to do?

 

[shrinkmaster]

The other parent needs to return to court and seek to modify visitation order. Dont get your hopes up though

 

[army judge]

Simon, you'll be by the time you'd prevail, assuming you'd prevail.

Suggestion, you'll be an adult at 18.

That'll come sooner than you can imagine.

You won't ever have to see him after you become an adult.

 

[Simonfitz]

she has attempted to get visitation modified but the judge won't modify until cps and/or police cough up a report or arrest him. I'm not just concerned for myself but my younger sibs too. He's dangerous.

 

[shrinkmaster]

If courts wont rule and Police and CPS wont either there is nothing that can be done without your Mom being in violation of court order. I have to ask why (if what you say is true) wont Police or CPS act?

 

[Simonfitz]

cps says they can't do formal charging that it has to be the police. The police say that it's a domestic issue and there is grey area in a domestic issue. They don't want to send the report over to the prosecuting attorney's office because they aren't convinced that my father would be convicted. They're continuing to say that if I was in my father's "space", I am partially at fault. My father lied to them about exactly what happened that day and they just believe him. What it really sounds like is that they feel sorry for my father. My father has manipulated the authoritative system for years and he's good at it. He may have only ended up with 2 convictions for domestic violence but there were many many other times that he should have been charged for! I can remember him striking and shoving my Mom from when when I was a little boy on and eventually he started in on my older sibs before he got to me and my younger sister. If my older sibs didn't get me upstairs under the bed fast enough, I would watch with my other younger sibs from underneath the dining room table where we had the protection of the chair legs but occassional broken glass and ceramic would still fly under sometimes.

CPS can only put him on an abuser's registry but even that can't happen until they finish their investigation and they have 30 days to do that and have yet to catch up with my father in the 11 days since. They can cooperate with the prosecuter but the police have to agree to send the police report to the prosectuter. The police testosterone seems to be seems to be very strong. The commander at the police department is saying that even though 2 of my sibs and myself wrote statements and have a medical report indicating my concussion, he won't fix the original report to include the truth. He included these items with the police report but even though the evidence strongly suggests that he injured me (and they are not denying this), they will only forward the report on to the prosecuter's office if they believe the original report would get a positive outcome.

 

[army judge]

You'll be an adult soon. You might want to speak with your mom. Has she done everything she can?

 

[shrinkmaster]

Something isnt right. CPS can act! Not only that Mom should be able to get energency court order to hold visits or have them supervised until the abuse alegations are proven or disproven. Its possible you overstated this?

 

[Simonfitz]

she's been trying to get visitation put back to supervised just for this vary reason. We all know it's dangerous to be with him and the medical report proves this along with his admission that he "pushed" me into a wall. The cps social worker is saying that she doesn't have enough to petition the court for visitation suspension until she finishes her investigation and my father seems to be missing in action right now.

 

[army judge]

Well, his MIA status provides relief and respite for all. Enjoy the calm he might never return again, and everyone can live happily ever after.

 

[fitzsi23]

This man is a master manipulator, he knows how to play the victim and he plays it well! None of this is overstated, in fact it may even be understated. This whole thing is beyond frustrating and it seems that he has managed manipulate anyone and everyone that is in a position to help. The cps social worker spoke with him and when he said that he didn't have any plans to hit his children and she simply took his word for it! Of course he said he didn't have plans to hit his kids, that doesn't mean he won't do it again. Why would a social worker take the word of a long term abuser over statements from all children that were present as well as a medical report? How can we make people believe us?

 

[army judge]

This man is a master manipulator, he knows how to play the victim and he plays it well! None of this is overstated, in fact it may even be understated. This whole thing is beyond frustrating and it seems that he has managed manipulate anyone and everyone that is in a position to help. The cps social worker spoke with him and when he said that he didn't have any plans to hit his children and she simply took his word for it! Of course he said he didn't have plans to hit his kids, that doesn't mean he won't do it again. Why would a social worker take the word of a long term abuser over statements from all children that were present as well as a medical report? How can we make people believe us?

I suggest you speak with a lawyer, the police, a priest, an imam, a minister, a rabbit, a brother, a monk, a nun, a member of any number of religious organizations, a teacher or school counselor, someone at the Salvation Army, a Red Cross counselor, or any of a number of charitable groups that assist victims of domestic violence and/or abuse.

We certainly can't help you, as we are even less powerless than you feel you are.

You might also ask your local police to offer you the names of agencies in your county that offer assistance to child abuse victims and/or victims of domestic violence.