16 year old daughter problems

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Katomom

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I have a 16 year old daughter, who simply will not come home when asked.
She is hanging around a new crowd..2 other 16 year old girls, a 19 year old guy, a 22 year old guy and a 23 year old guy.
I tell her to be home at 830 on school nights and 11 on weekends.

The weekends are no problem - but school nights are a struggle.
she comes home whenever she wants.. and comes home by 10:55pm because she knows i can leagally call the police.
I ground her and she just doesnt come home until the next night by 10:55pm.

i go to the house to get her and she won't come out. I call there and no one will answer the phone. If they do answer she says she is on her way home
and then just doesn't come home until she wants.

What do i do. i can bend her over my knee with a paddle. I cannot pick her up from school because she wont get in the car....

I need help.

Legally, what can i do?
She says she is not doing drugs,drinking or having sex... and i cannot
smell any alcohol, or see any signs of drugs, other than the contiunuous
lack of respect.
Please Help.
 
You have 100% control over where she goes, whom she sees etc etc. You might enroll entire Family into counseling. You can also tell the adults she hangs out with she is forbidden to see them. If they choose to ignore that request you will take legal action against them! If she hides in someones elses home and refuses to leave you can call Police. If anyone helps her hide from you you can seek charges on them. You have let the balance of power shift you need to take it back. Furthermore I would take her cell phone, computer, car etc you may have given her or pay for. Tell her when she can obey your wishes the items will be returned
 
Ok age of consent in your state is 18! That means no sex, sexual chat, text etc. It also means no fondling, groping etc. You hold the power over the adults whom I presume dont want to register as sex offenders! If you are forced to tak eher computer or cell or if you can get to them without her knowing you can check for illegal talk, etc. If you cant get to the child talk to the adults.
 
THANKS JACKSGAL(By the way, i am also a big Jack fan)
I have taken everything away from her-tv, comp, cell, radio, camera, I even stopped doing her laundry. I started making her walk to the bus stop. She just won't come home when i ask. No matter what. I guess i have decided... i should take her to a doctor for a drug test and an OB to see if there is any sign of ses... (if i can get her in the car)
And i will look into protective restraining orders. Thanks.
 
Mom,

While the laws in your state might differ than in mine, I will wager there are far more similarities than differences.

One thing you might consider doing is speaking with the School Resource Officer at her school, or whoever handles juvenile issues for your local law enforcement agency. Maybe work with them and the school to try and get her back on the straight and narrow.

Next, when she is out of control, call the police. Dollars to donuts your state has an "incorrigible" statute of some kind which makes it unlawful to be out of your parents' control. If you report her as a runaway every time she takes off or refuses to come home, this might get the attention of "the system." You might also want to let her friends know that you will seek charges against them for their contributing to your daughter's delinquency.

Additionally, be sure to go through her things - backpack, drawers, binder from school, everything. Girls are notorious about scribbling notes about things, and you might be able to find out a lot by snooping. Yes, it's sneaky, but it can be a necessary thing for a parent.

Maybe it's time to replace her bedroom door with a blanket, her bed with a mattress, and her drawers with a small box with one or two sets of clothing that you lay out for her each day.

One parent I used to know took time off work and actually arranged to sit with her daughter through every class for three days for every ONE day her daughter was out of control. Mom had to sit through 6 days of classes before the daughter started shaping up ... of course mom did it in a bathrobe and curlers, and even sat with her daughter at lunch.

Forget about the weekend curfews. Until she can show herself to be trustworthy, she comes home by 7 PM or you call the police to report her as a runaway at 7:01 PM. Eventually her friends will get tired of the police knocking on their doors because she's out of control.

Some of this will require the police department to be on board with this, so it is important that you sit down with the them to make sure you are all on the same sheet of music as far as this goes.

Not knowing what other resources are available, I can't say if there are other options, but I venture to guess that there are. You just have to talk to the right people. Start with the school and the SRO/Juvenile Officer, and then move from there.

- Carl
 
God forbid I ever need this kind of advice, but if I come knocking in 8 or 10 years I hope you folks are still posting. :)
 
I would just like to say that having and knowing and once being there. The more you are her enemy the more she will rebell. instead of forcing her why dont you give her other options, like... why dont you all come here. Or id like to meet your friends or just make it more comfortable istead of negative.
 
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