15yr old daughter wants to live with dad, can she decide?

[momtothree]

Daughter's father and I were never married. She has only lived with me since birth. When daughter was 2yr I married, we now have total of three children. The same holds true for her father. He sued for half-half custody when she was 8 then decided to move 1hr away. Custody was agreed upon. He gets visitation every other weekend. Split holidays, vacations, etc. Now under restrictions in my household has decided to live with her father. He has agreed stating that my and her relationship would improve. What are my choices? Can she decide? Can I do anything about alienation?

 

[shrinkmaster]

You need to hash this out through courts to avoid problems like you have mentioned

 

[MorgansDaddy]

What you can do is MAKE her come home. She doesn't get to say where she lives. If her and the father want her to move in with him, HE needs to petition to modify things.

Your saving grace is your custody order that both you and the father are obligated to follow unless it is changed.

 

[mightymoose]

If you agree to it, yes, she can go.
The best option, if this is to be long-term and not just a short visit with dad, is to obtain a modification to your custody order to reflect the change in circumstances.
If you do not obtain a modified order and there is a dispute later, it will be difficult for anyone to enforce your current order.

 

[MorgansDaddy]

You need to hash this out through courts to avoid problems like you have mentioned

Sorry, but wrong. She has a court order that needs to be followed. Dad wants it changed, he needs to file to do so. Mom here just needs to make the daughter understand the court order says she lives with mom and not let her live with dad unless a modification is made.

 

[shrinkmaster]

No sir you have misread or I was not clear. If there is to be any change it needs to be done through courts. I realize there is a court order I can read! I was referring to any change that is not on current order.

 

[mightymoose]

A problem I deal with frequently is that mom and dad have a court order but over time they strayed from it and made up their own rules. One of the parents eventually has a problem and calls for help and shows me the existing order. After a little investigation I learn that the order has not been followed for months as it was no longer convenient.
The typical response to the complainant is to go get a new order and leave the kid where it is. When they make their own modifications and stray from the plan the court authorized, they make it difficult for anyone to step in and enforce an old order that they have abandoned. Doing so causes chaos for the child and any inconvenience is the fault of the parents for not holding to the rules they agreed to.

 

[momtothree]

Daughter is with me now, court order has been followed. Problem is I think Dad is trying to persuade or alienate mom from daughter. Calls from dad and stepmom have went from 1 every week to 5-6 times a day. I can only assume to keep it her head, their plan of her moving. Is it possible for him to get custody on her request of where she wants to live? I want her to stay with me until high school graduation.

 

[shrinkmaster]

Either party can file to modify order if circumstances have changed

 

[mightymoose]

Bottom line, mom, without a court order allowing her to move, she won't be allowed to stay with dad without your permission. If she visits dad and refuses to come home, the order you already have is all you need to get her back.