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Worried about alimony.

Discussion in 'Alimony & Spousal Support' started by timanonymous, Sep 30, 2010.

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  1. timanonymous

    timanonymous Law Topic Starter New Member

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    I am really worried about having to pay alimony to my wife.

    I have 3 questions.

    Is a court going to think that her demands are reasonable?

    Am I going to have to pay alimony in NC even though I have a a prenuptial agreement? (she is unemployed)

    I work overseas, what if I can't make a divorce court date because I might lose my job if I show up for it? (for example, if my boss wont give me time off to fly back to the US in order to go to court)

    Some background:

    We have no kids.

    We have been married 5 years.

    She has 3 degrees I have only a HS Diploma.

    She is 56, I am 29.

    She is unemployed. I work in Afghanistan as a mechanic civilian contractor.

    She has been unemployed for the majority of the marriage. I have been employed the entire time.

    My income is approximately $100,000 per year before taxes but only
    because I am a automotive mechanic in Afghanistan. If I was working in
    the US I imagine my income would be under $30,000 per year.

    I have a prenuptial agreement signed 2 months before the marriage. The prenuptial agreement explicitly states that neither party will pay alimony. However, I read on the internet in several places that in NC, if my wife in unemployed at the time of divorce (or eligible for public assistance) then she is entitled to alimony.

    Right now my wife is asking for $13,000 plus $1000 per month for 3 years ($49,000).

    I was going to use all my money to go to college after Afghanistan but now I am afraid that this might not be possible. I don't want to have to work in Afghanistan in order to afford to pay alimony to my spouse.

    I am extremely worried about my situation. I have a hard time sleeping, working, and just doing anything else. Somebody please help me.
     
  2. army judge

    army judge Super Moderator

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    Your best strategy is to take some time off from your work and return to the USA.

    Giving up a week or two of income is better than giving that lazy cow $50,000.

    You could have someone in the US arrange for an attorney to represent you.

    You could speak with that attorney over the internet, before you return.

    You might not have to return right away.

    A couple telephone calls would be a lot cheaper than giving that old cow a dime! :no:

    Fight for your rights.

    The prenup should be solid, if your attorney works this correctly. :yes:

    But, you gotta start working this ASAP.

    Dude, what were you thinking?

    I don't think she'll get alimony or spousal maintenance.

    In today's climate (since welfare reform) able-bodied single adults can't usually draw welfare payments.

    Those are usually for children and families.



    http://www.ncfamilylaw.com/download/prenup48.html
     
    Last edited: Sep 30, 2010
  3. Proserpina

    Proserpina Moderator

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    ....additionally...



    Oh HECK no.

    I would be fighting ANY spousal support tooth and nail.

    Make her take you to court. Make her fight for it. Don't agree to one single cent UNLESS your attorney advises you otherwise (and even then....come on, a 5 year marriage? I can't see that happening. Period. Unless you live in CA, which you don't).
     
  4. timanonymous

    timanonymous Law Topic Starter New Member

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    I now know why she is so confident to go to court. She is going to bring up every single argument we ever had and turn it into a domestic violence issue.

    About 3 years ago we got in an argument so loud that the neighbors called the police. This was when I was in the army. After the police came she said that I hit her even though I didn't. She didn't press charges but the military police made me stay in the barracks for 3 days and go to anger management classes. Then she cried when I came home and said she was sorry.

    She is probably going to say that every time we got in an argument I was verbally and physically abusive. I know her.

    Will this help her get alimony?
     
  5. timanonymous

    timanonymous Law Topic Starter New Member

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    She already told me that she was going to tell the court how "bad" I am.

    She wants to make a deal outside of court but her expectations are always extremely unreasonable.

    I would quit my job in Afghanistan if I knew that everyday I was risking my life just to get $50,000 per year because I have to pay $50,000 in alimony. Sometimes I already want to come back to the US but I am always just hanging on to this job by a thread.
     
  6. army judge

    army judge Super Moderator

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    Do NOT allow her to bully or intimidate you.
    Do NOT miss this court date.
    If you do, she will rob you blind by getting a default judgment.
    Do NOT allow that to happen.

    If you can't return, you can retain an attorney to appear for you.
    That attorney can get this matter continued, until such time as you return to the USA.
    That way you avoid getting screwed.

    If she brings up anything from the past, your attorney can object on grounds of relevance.
    But, one can't just bring up anything in court.
    You have to lay a foundation to get things admitted.
    Trust me, that isn't as easy as it sounds.

    So, get your mom, dad, brother, best friend or someone you trust to retain an attorney; if you can't do it from over there.
    You can communicate with that attorney many ways.
    But, the first thing you want to do is delay this.
    That is how an attorney can help you, until you can get back to the USA!
     
  7. irish223

    irish223 Moderator

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    Um, in your other post you say she's asking for $49,000 total for 3 years. That's NOT half your salary if it's spread out over 3 years.

    I'm not suggesting that she can get any alimony at all. I agree that she won't.

    However, the way you've phrased her "request" sounds more like a buy-out to me. Are you sure she's not asking for a $49,000 settlement? What are your marital assets? How much have you saved over the past 5 years?
     
  8. timanonymous

    timanonymous Law Topic Starter New Member

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    She is not asking for a $49,000 lump sum settlement. She is asking for a $13,000 lump sum plus $1000 per month for 3 years.

    We don't have any marital assets. We have always had separate bank accounts. Over the past 5 years I haven't saved any money at all because of student loan debt and if she wouldn't try to rob me I might be able to pay it off next year and quit Afghanistan if I want to.

    I used to have a vehicle but I gave it to my wife to sell along with $2000 in order to help her move into a new place while I have been here in Afghanistan. I have no house or property. I have always lived in apartments.

    I have been telling her for 2 years that she needs to get a job. Even when we were destitute she wouldn't work. She would just hang out at the house making comments on videos on YouTube or hang out with one our neighbors.

    I saw this job as a way to start to finally get a divorce without having to pay two rents to avoid legal abandonment. Otherwise I probably would have divorced 2 years ago.

    Everybody thinks I am a fool for sending her $2000 plus the title to my motorcycle but I guess sometimes women have a way of making me do very stupid things. Including getting married.
     

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