Wife wants out of parental rights...

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WarCowboy

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Well, as unusual as this might sound, my wife decided she wants a divorce, and that she wants to give up her rights to our two children, 2 and 4 years of age.
I never thought I would have to deal with something like this, and Im still struck strange by the whole thing.
Anyhow, I have questions about the whole deal.
What do I need to do first, and how do I handle this sorta thing? I mean, should I deal with the custody issue first, or is that even possible?
I dont know what to do, and I have asked her several times over if she felt that was something she wanted to do, and she keeps saying she is sure. Im not sure what her problem is with the children, but I figure I had better do something about it ASAP since she wants out all together.
I told her that I didnt know if it was possible, and that the judge might rule it out, but I cant say for sure.
Please help! Any advice would be great.
 
OK, so what is my best option to do then.
Its obvious she wants no responsibility.
So what sorta custody is my best bet to shoot for?
 
Shame on your wife for wanting this. I agree file for custody and child support. She does not have to see the kids if she chooses not too, but sher must suppor them.

Why does your wife feel this way? I feel really bad for the kids that their mom wants to abandon them. Is she depressed?
 
What a worthless person! Simple...file for divorce and go for sole custody, make the woman pay child support! If she fights and you do not wish to fight then just go for sole custody and let her out of child support (if it is ok with you).
 
Courts dont always allow for that option. My Husband knew his Ex would never pay support went for zero they said. so he listed a request of $100.00 a month for three kids, thats not each either. In 7 years she has not paid. Go for sole custody if you dont want support to be big issue request low amount
 
you may want to step back for a minute and think about this. your wife may be having problems and want out and you do need to step in get custody put into your name and get a divorce, but if you think your wife is having problems you might want to be good and not screw her over from the git go she may need a break and once she gets it and gets her haed right and wants to be in the kids lives you need to be good with that. unless she has hurt them put them in danger or is being unreasonable u shouldnt want to omit her from there lives for good. give it to god, talk to a counsler and see what way will be best for you kids lives now and in the future.. people and life change
 
I have no intentions of not letting her see them when ever she wants, but with the way she is acting toward this whole thing, I get the feeling that she just wants to be free of everything. First you have to understand she lived a very messed up life, with about every bad thing happing to her that you can imagine, and that caused a rocky road from the start. I have to honest and admit I knew what I was getting myself into with it all from the start, but I thought I could change her feeling toward people, and obviously I was wrong.
Im having a hard time with it all, and I dont want her to go, but I cant keep someone that doesnt want to stay.
Im concerned about the kids, she wants to give me custody, and I just want to make sure that it will go as planned.
She says she wants to be friendly about it all, and has come to this agreement on her own.
I dont really care about child support, as Im the one that works, and she stayed home to begin with for the last 6 years.
 
If you feel you are the better parent then by all means file for custody. You and your wife do not have to make this ugly, if you can work something out. That fact she wants to walk away from her responsibilities as a mom is sad. Eventually she will probably change her mind. File for custody, child support (whatever amount you agree on), and give her a visitation schedule and hope she will use it.

She may wind up being a dead beat, who knows. Since you are the more stable parent, you have an obligation to make sure you do the best you can in raising the kids.

I certainly would not pay her alimony if she is not going to agree to some sort of child support.
 
Well having gone through this on the opposite side of the spectrum I can assure you that unless there is a responsible party ie: step parent in place to assume her responsibilities which means everything she is wishing to dump on you solely.

It is a 1 year process if things go smoothly. In my case the laws changed mid way through and we had to start all over again but it still only took 1 year to complete the process for my daughter's biological father to be able to voluntarily sign off his parental rights but I had to get married before I wanted to to speed up the process.

She cannot just walk away and say hey I don't want to be a parent anymore. I don't know her so I don't presume to know her mind but she wants to leave and not pay child support is what I am predicting is her motivation in all this.

If she doesn't want to see her children then you can't force that situation. I mean you can't force someone to take care care their children if they are truely that adament that they are washing their hands of the kids.

The thing is she will have to obtain a lawyer and so will you and it will be very costly because the children will also be appointed guardian ad lidem attorneys who oversee the best interests of the child.

No she cannot just walk away with divorce papers in hand leave the children with you and sign off on her kids. She has to pay child support until a responsible party such as a step parent whom has been in the home for six months or more and then you and the step parent have to go through a home visit from social services to determine if the home is appropriate and the relationship you have with the new "mom" is on the up and up.

She may as well get used to the idea that she has no choices and parenting is not a take it or leave it thing it's a lifetime commitment. She didn't want the kids she shouldn't have had them.

I feel for you in this as it is just impossible for me to watch someone just shrug off parenting and walk away because it doesn't "work for them anymore".
 
This is getting confusing to me a bit.
I understand that she might have to be a part of their lives, and I certainly hope she does decide to be. Actually I would rather her not leave at all. But since this is not the case, and sole custody isnt an option without a guardian, then what exactly is it that your saying would be my best bet.
Either way, she wants me to have the most custody, so that I have them the most, as this is obvious.
So what should I try and get as far as this is concerned?
I live in VA if this is of any help.
 
This does not have to be complicated. If you want custody go and file. If mon agrees then there may not be any dispute.

A Guardian Ad Litium (GAL-attorney for the child) will only be appointed if the judge requests, or one parent requests, but they are expensive. GAL's are normally appointed to kids in the foster care system, not so much in divorces unless both parents are in a nasty custody battle and the court deems one appropriate. Someone has to pay for them though so a GAL probably is not necessary.

this does not have to be hard. File for custody and work out a visitation schedule with mom. It is up to her if she uses it.
 
Alright guys, thanks for the input throughout this thing, and everything seems to easier than I thought.

I setup a custody hearing, but then had to meet with a mediator before hand. Once I met with the mediator, she ask if we where in agreement on what we wanted, and that was that. Now they have to have us meet up one final time, and the mediator will then ask again, and if the answer is the same both of us, and we agree, then she doesnt have to pay support, and I get custody, and I allowed her liberal visitation rights as well.
Everything seems to be by request if its agreed on.
Once the mediator is done, then they send the papers to be viewed by a judge for a legal agreement.
Dont even have to go to court any more.
 
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