What rights do I have as a grandparent?

[meecari]

I admit, my son has completely blown it as a father. I, on the other hand, used to have a very special connection with my grandson. But, because of my sons lack of trying to be a parent, the mother has moved hundreds of miles away and has completely stopped any and all contact between myself and my grandson. I continue to call and leave messages or send cards, gifts or letters to her mothers address, but I don't even know if he gets any of it. I want to be able to see him. The last I heard she wanted her new husband to adopt my grandson so that he would have his name, instead of my sons. Do I have any say in this at all? Or do I lose the best part of me because my son screwed up?

 

[Betty3]

I'm sorry but as a grandparent you have no legal rights to see the child.

 

[Proserpina]

I admit, my son has completely blown it as a father. I, on the other hand, used to have a very special connection with my grandson. But, because of my sons lack of trying to be a parent, the mother has moved hundreds of miles away and has completely stopped any and all contact between myself and my grandson. I continue to call and leave messages or send cards, gifts or letters to her mothers address, but I don't even know if he gets any of it. I want to be able to see him. The last I heard she wanted her new husband to adopt my grandson so that he would have his name, instead of my sons. Do I have any say in this at all? Or do I lose the best part of me because my son screwed up?

No, you don't have any say in a stepparent adoption.

Betty was being very kind (as she always is), but I want to go a bit further if I may?

If Mom and the child reside in California, a grandparent has the right to file for visitation. In order for the court to award visitation, there are two conditions which must be met:

1. The court must find that there was a pre-existing relationship between grandparent and grandchild that has "engendered a bond." This means that there is such a bond between grandparent and grandchild that visitation is in best interest of the grandchild.

AND

2. Balance the best interest of the child in having visitation with a grandparent with the rights of the parents to make decisions about their child.

If the child is very young, #1 will usually decide the matter quite quickly and the ruling would be in favor of the parents unless the grandparent had actually raised the child to a certain degree. And grandparent visitation in California will not be granted at all if the child has been adopted by a stepparent.

If the court does rule in your favor, at best you would get perhaps one overnight per month (unless the parents agree to give you more time). Most of the time suing your own children is seen as a very hostile act and this is just one reason why it can make things worse.

Now I do have a couple of questions:

1. How old is your grandson?
2. Where exactly is Dad?
3. How long ago did Mom move?