What are my ex-husbands visitation rights?

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iwannano

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The court ordered custody arrangement my ex-husband and I have is that I have sole legal custody and visitation for my ex-husband with our 12 year old son is "for reasonable times upon reasonable notice".
Our son usually visits with his father 2x a week amounting to about 7 to 10 hours total in a week. My ex doesn't abide by the court order by giving me notice. I've had to provide our son with a cell phone so he can tell me whats going on because his father will not.
My ex-husband has not provided the basic necessities for our son like clothes, shoes, a bed, pillow, toothbrush, etc. My ex-husband has filled up most of his free time volunteering to coach sporting events for his stepchildren and no longer makes time for his son. He still picks up his son, but expects him to hang around in a park for 3 hours (even after dark)while his father coaches his stepchildren or be forced to be alone with his stepmother. Our son has told me and his father that he doesn't want to have anything to do with his stepmother and does not want to be left alone with her because of inappropriate things she has said to him. She has even made our son sit in a car alone for nearly 1 hour when she was angry with him. There are too many things going on to list all, but know that they are all borderline abuse and neglect issues, not enough for cps to intervene, but bad enough to damage our son emotionally. I want to know if it is within my legal right, given the current court order, to suspend visitation until my ex-husband agrees to mediate things for the sake of our son? My ex-husband thinks he has the right to force his son to spend time at his house or be alone with his stepmother when he doesn't want to. Does he? My son just want to spend time with his father. That shouldn't be too much to ask. Please note before responding that the court order is not your a-typical visitation order. There are no set times, which means there should be no reason for him to ask for visitation if he is not going to be present, right?
 
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Unfortunately if there is an order to visit you must comply or you face contempt. Whatever Dad does with the child on his time, even leaving him alone with step-mom is within his legal rights. You'll need to see an attorney to discuss your concerns.
 
Unfortunately if there is an order to visit you must comply or you face contempt. Whatever Dad does with the child on his time, even leaving him alone with step-mom is within his legal rights. You'll need to see an attorney to discuss your concerns.
The court order is for visitation with his father, not anyone else. Unlike most visitation orders this one does Not specify specific days or times. Given these facts then why would I have to let him take our son, if he won't be there to visit with him?
 
Since you've been allowing him to take him with no notice, you can't just outright refuse him now. That would show a refusal to comply with the order.

However, if you already have plans the next time he shows up, then that's just an unfortunate coincidence, and you would not have to make your son go. Your ex will probably call first after that, and you will have to allow visitation.

Although the visitation order is atypical, it actually leaves the door open for more visitation than a typical order. It doesn't state "mutually agreed upon times" so it doesn't give you much control as far as when or how your husband chooses to exercise his visitation.

You really need to talk to your attorney. You may be able to ask for right of first refusal if your husband leaves your son with the step for a couple of hours or more. You may also be able to stipulate that the step is not allowed to discipline your son (which she shouldn't be doing anyway). Also, your son may be old enough to state his preferences in court or mediation.

Good luck.
 
ok, this is what the court order says:
The parties agree that it is in the best interests of the child for the petitioner(me) to have primary placement. The respondent(son's father) shall have alternate periods of placement at reasonable times upon reasonable notice, based upon excepted satisfactory conditions by petitioner.
This means, that I have more control, right? If I don't believe the conditions are satisfactory, then I do not have to let him go, thats how it appears to me, is this correct?
 
The respondent(son's father) shall have alternate periods of placement at reasonable times upon reasonable notice, based upon excepted satisfactory conditions by petitioner.

Well, I'm not a lawyer, and I've not seen this wording before. However, I believe that the bolded part refers to the reasonable notice. I really think you need to check this with your attorney before you refuse visitation.

Truthfully, 7 to 10 hours a week is not that bad. I know your son hates it, but if you go back to court or to mediation, your husband may request and get every other weekend including overnights. Just a thought.
 
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