Videotaped

[dustoff6]

I'm not sure if this is the correct forum, but it has to do with divorce.

I am married and was having problems with my marriage and started having an affair with another woman. My wife did not discover my infidelities, I stopped the affair and am now in the process of working through the problems with my wife to strengthen our union.

During the affair, the woman and I made some videotapes of us having sex. (yes, I am an idiot, hoping to do better). This woman is now angry at me for ending the affair and is threatening to send the tapes to my wife.

I think she will probably do this, and all of her threats to do this have been via telephone, no e-mails.
Is there any recourse I can take if she does send these tapes to my wife? Is this woman breaking any laws? Could I get an RO for civil harassment if she does send these tapes to my wife?

I would like to be able to point out to her that there are legal consequences if she does this, but I don't know if there actually are.

Thank you.

 

[BayState]

I'm not sure if this is the correct forum, but it has to do with divorce.

I am married and was having problems with my marriage and started having an affair with another woman. My wife did not discover my infidelities, I stopped the affair and am now in the process of working through the problems with my wife to strengthen our union.

During the affair, the woman and I made some videotapes of us having sex. (yes, I am an idiot, hoping to do better). This woman is now angry at me for ending the affair and is threatening to send the tapes to my wife.

I think she will probably do this, and all of her threats to do this have been via telephone, no e-mails.
Is there any recourse I can take if she does send these tapes to my wife? Is this woman breaking any laws? Could I get an RO for civil harassment if she does send these tapes to my wife?

I would like to be able to point out to her that there are legal consequences if she does this, but I don't know if there actually are.

Thank you.

Nope. There are no legal issue with her sending the tapes to your wife...Well there are...But just for you.

 

[Antigone]

Nope. There are no legal issue with her sending the tapes to your wife...Well there are...But just for you.

Come clean to your wife and you've wiped out the mistress's amunition against you.

 

[dustoff6]

Thanks. Yeah, I've been thinking I need to get everything out in the open anyway with the wife.

 

[mightymoose]

There is nothing illegal about her sending the video to your wife. Sorry.

That said, you could probably obtain a restraining order against her that lists you and her wife as the protected persons... this of course would have to be based upon some sort of threat she has made to you.

An RO would do one of two things... either piss her off and make her retaliate and send the video, or shut her up and make her go bother someone else.

If she should send the video after being served a restraining order THEN there would be legal consequences... it is only a misdemeanor, but it's better than nothing.

Also... if she makes any demand for money or other favors in order to keep her from sending the video then you could contact the police for blackmail/extortion.

 

[jharris352]

I would file for injunction relief getting a Judge to order her not to share tapes that were made in private and never intended to be public. Believe me paying a lawyer quickly to get an injunction for you is a lot cheaper than paying for the divorce and aftermath.

 

[dustoff6]

There is nothing illegal about her sending the video to your wife. Sorry.

That said, you could probably obtain a restraining order against her that lists you and her wife as the protected persons... this of course would have to be based upon some sort of threat she has made to you.

An RO would do one of two things... either piss her off and make her retaliate and send the video, or shut her up and make her go bother someone else.

If she should send the video after being served a restraining order THEN there would be legal consequences... it is only a misdemeanor, but it's better than nothing.

Also... if she makes any demand for money or other favors in order to keep her from sending the video then you could contact the police for blackmail/extortion.

She really hasn't threatened to do anything except send the videotapes to my wife. No threats of physical violence or constant harassing contact and she hasn't been stalking around our house as far as I know. So unless the threat to reveal the video is grounds for an RO, I don't think I have any.

 

[mightymoose]

You can still get the RO if she fails to appear and defend herself. Like I said though, depending on the kind of person she is, that might just be adding fuel to the fire. If you think she might calm down then just wait it out and let her fade away.
The injunction idea might work too... but it has the same results as the RO... it either makes her more angry and she sends the video anyway, or she complies and goes away.
If you are lucky she will get mad and burn it or something.
Then again, if you were lucky you wouldn't be having this problem...

 

[dustoff6]

You can still get the RO if she fails to appear and defend herself. Like I said though, depending on the kind of person she is, that might just be adding fuel to the fire. If you think she might calm down then just wait it out and let her fade away.
The injunction idea might work too... but it has the same results as the RO... it either makes her more angry and she sends the video anyway, or she complies and goes away.
If you are lucky she will get mad and burn it or something.
Then again, if you were lucky you wouldn't be having this problem...

Not to mention if I was exercising better judgment I wouldn't have this problem.
But I guess that's obvious. Thanks for the excellent advice folks.