unrelated pre-teens sleeping in same room

[MommyDoRight]

Just wondering if there is anything that can be said/done about my children, especially my 11(almost 12) sleeping with 3 boys, her biological brother and my ex's gf's two boys 12 and 10?

 

[army judge]

Just wondering if there is anything that can be said/done about my children, especially my 11(almost 12) sleeping with 3 boys, her biological brother and my ex's gf's two boys 12 and 10?

If you believe ANY child is in danger, report the matter to the police or your state's child services agency.

They will investigate the matter and take action, if necessary.

If anyone is in danger, always contact the police or "911".

 

[Betty3]

Since two are unrelated, you can check with Child Protective Services in your state to see what the sleeping requirements are for Va. Requirements can vary by state.

 

[mightymoose]

Most likely this is a non issue, something for parents to decide.

 

[disagreeable]

They are reaching the age when Childrens Services might require another bedroom. Discuss the issue with their local office.

 

[shrinkmaster]

Have you spoken with other parent yet? You need to use caution before calling CPS or taking issues to court. In many cases Judge or CPS may look at issue as one parent trying to screw the other over anger issues. Make sure this is about the child and worded in such a way. I agree at that age it would be better to have separate rooms however what are the circumstances? Is your separated (even if same room) as others or are any privacy concerns being addressed. My first suggestion is you talk to other parent about your concerns and how to deal with your concerns before involving CPS or courts. Of course if there are serious concerns abuse or the like has already taken place then yes call

 

[mightymoose]

They are reaching the age when Childrens Services might require another bedroom. Discuss the issue with their local office.

"Require" is a fairly strong word. There is no requirement that any parent give a hoot about what anyone else thinks their child's accommodations should be. Social workers are usually guests in the home and can be given the boot if they get bossy or too demanding about what they think is appropriate. Absent any abuse or neglect it is no person's businesses but the parents.
I'd bet my hat those kids would all have separate bedrooms if they were available.

 

[shrinkmaster]

I agree and again I think the first response needs to be for the two parents to "co parent" their child. More here http://www.parentnook.com/co-parenting-advice-for-your-children/ if the two former partners (The parents) can talk this out like adults they can avoid ugly situations and possible issues for the child.

 

[CdwJava]

They are reaching the age when Childrens Services might require another bedroom. Discuss the issue with their local office.

I don't know of any state that has such a regulation. If that were the case, many large families in small homes or apartments might be in violation of such a law. I'd be curious to read such a code section if one exists somewhere.

Like MM, I think this is - legally - a non-issue. If the parents are at odds over this, then it is a matter to be discussed with regards to custody and visitation in Family Court .

 

[disagreeable]

The usual solution is mom n dad move into the living room and vacate the room they occupy. Social workers have as much power as they elect to flex. In this case it could be the girls and boys have no privacy and are subject to sexual advances with no place to retreat.

"Require" is a fairly strong word. There is no requirement that any parent give a hoot about what anyone else thinks their child's accommodations should be. Social workers are usually guests in the home and can be given the boot if they get bossy or too demanding about what they think is appropriate. Absent any abuse or neglect it is no person's businesses but the parents.
I'd bet my hat those kids would all have separate bedrooms if they were available.

 

[CdwJava]

The usual solution is mom n dad move into the living room and vacate the room they occupy. Social workers have as much power as they elect to flex. In this case it could be the girls and boys have no privacy and are subject to sexual advances with no place to retreat.

That would be a rather empty bluff.

 

[disagreeable]

Depends on whether they are willing to undergo an invasion form childrens services.

 

[mightymoose]

The usual solution is mom n dad move into the living room and vacate the room they occupy. Social workers have as much power as they elect to flex. In this case it could be the girls and boys have no privacy and are subject to sexual advances with no place to retreat.

Nothing was said about any kind of sexual or other kind of abuse. Lacking any allegation of abuse it is nobody's business.
A social worker has zero power without a judge backing them up.

 

[CdwJava]

Depends on whether they are willing to undergo an invasion form childrens services.

It really wouldn't matter if there is no law that requires unrelated minors of the opposite gender to be in the same room. The only regulation I know of is with regards to foster children where there IS such a requirement. But, unless the children are wards of the court, I am unaware of any state that has a law requiring minors of different genders to be separated.

 

[shrinkmaster]

Everyone is putting the cart in front of the horse here. The solution to start with is for the two parents to discuss this concern with each other and find an acceptable solution between them LONG before we start talking about courts and Social services.