1. Free Legal Help, Legal Forms and Lawyers. TheLaw.com has been providing free legal assistance online since 1995. Our most popular destinations for legal help are below. It only takes a minute to join our legal community!

    Dismiss Notice

Unofficial Sperm Donor

Discussion in 'Child Custody & Visitation' started by SadDad343, Sep 4, 2019.

  1. SadDad343

    SadDad343 Law Topic Starter New Member

    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Jurisdiction:
    Florida
    A little over a year ago I helped an unmarried woman get pregnant, but not through a doctor or any lawyers. We just trusted each other, and the deal was we'd each have a kid for our own, but in the event she couldn't have a second, I would be allowed to see and visit the child. The first pregnancy went great, and we have a healthy boy. I wasn't added to the birth certificate.

    After the birth, she tells me she doesn't feel healthy enough for a second child. I tell her I understand, and I'm just happy to see the baby. In about a month, the baby will be 1 year old, and she has completely cut me out of his life. I've been trying to give her some space to maybe come to her senses, but I just read about a supreme court case where a father lost all his rights to his child when he turned 2 because the mother's new partner wanted to adopt their child. The woman in my story is now engage, and I fear she is going to try the same thing.

    It isn't too late, is it? I just wanted to be able to see him every now and then, but I don't think there's legal grey room for that. Either I fight for custody and pay child support, or nothing at all, right? Thank you for any advice.
     
  2. army judge

    army judge Super Moderator

    Messages:
    32,029
    Likes Received:
    4,767
    Trophy Points:
    113

    Any unmarried male that purports to father a child "out of wedlock" MUST go to court to establish his paternity.

    Until the male has legally established his paternity he will remain a "legal stranger" to said child.

    The custody of a child (described hereinabove) is vested at birth solely unto the birthing female.


    Child support has nothing to do with establishing paternity or custody, per se; but often rears it's head once the male has established paternity.

    Before you do anything relative to this matter, I suggest you seek the counsel of a licensed attorney in the state where you reside.
     
    Zigner likes this.
  3. mightymoose

    mightymoose Moderator

    Messages:
    11,044
    Likes Received:
    1,831
    Trophy Points:
    113

    Ditto.
    You have options. Seek legal counsel from a family law attorney to find out how to go about establishing paternity and jumping through the right hoops so you don't waste time and money. You certainly should expect child support orders to come at some point.
     
  4. zddoodah

    zddoodah Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    3,694
    Likes Received:
    866
    Trophy Points:
    113

    "But not through a doctor or any lawyers"? What a completely bizarre way to say this. So...basically...you and this woman had sex with the intent that she get pregnant. Right?

    Too late for what? To establish your paternity and seek a court order for custody, visitation and child support? No, it's not too late for that.

    No, wrong. Your options are as follows:

    1. Do nothing. If the mother also does nothing, then, legally, this child will be no different than every other child who is not yours. However, the mother could decide to pursue you for child support (which would require that she establish paternity).

    2. File an action to establish your paternity and to obtain a court order for custody, visitation and child support. You do not have to "fight for custody." You can agree that the mother should be the custodial parent with you having only the right to visitation.

    What you cannot do is obtain an order for visitation without first establishing your paternity, which will also expose you to the obligation to pay child support.

    Frankly, this is something that any reasonably intelligent adult knows or should know, which seems to make your plan completely cockamamie.
     
    justblue likes this.
  5. Zigner

    Zigner Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    2,097
    Likes Received:
    1,094
    Trophy Points:
    113

    Something I'd like to point out: If mom (or kiddo [EDIT: as a minor]) ever applies for and is granted public assistance, then you will end up on the hook for repaying that.
     
    hrforme, army judge and justblue like this.
  6. leslie82

    leslie82 Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    1,775
    Likes Received:
    240
    Trophy Points:
    63
    What is wrong with people? It sounds like you have zero parental rights since you never established your paternity. So if she marries someone, yes that person can adopt that child as you have no rights.

    If you want parental rights, you need to go establish them via your state's law. At this pint, probably via a paternity test which also means you will probably get a child support order as well if paternity is established.

    People need to make a lot better decisions about bringing children into the world...
     
  7. Zigner

    Zigner Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    2,097
    Likes Received:
    1,094
    Trophy Points:
    113

    That's not actually true. The mother would have to notify the father/putative fathers.
     
    justblue likes this.
  8. leslie82

    leslie82 Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    1,775
    Likes Received:
    240
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Not if there is no one listed on the birth certificate and no one ever filed for paternity. All she has to do if asked "do you know who the father could be?" is say "no." Too easy.
     
  9. Zigner

    Zigner Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    2,097
    Likes Received:
    1,094
    Trophy Points:
    113

    I don't believe that it's wise or proper to advocate for perjury, fraud, etc. Legally, the mother MUST properly notify the possible fathers.
     
    justblue likes this.
  10. leslie82

    leslie82 Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    1,775
    Likes Received:
    240
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Who did I advocate that to? No one. I simply said that it's extremely easy for a woman who has no one listed as a father on a birth certificate to say she doesn't know who the father is or even could be.

    Legally people are supposed to do a lot of things yet everyone breaks some crime every single day.
     
  11. Zigner

    Zigner Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    2,097
    Likes Received:
    1,094
    Trophy Points:
    113

    Fair enough - I was looking at it from the wrong "point of view". Yes, our OP needs to stay on top of this in order to avoid the consequences of having impregnated a person who may commit fraud and perjury.

    Having said that, the fact is that the OP does have rights, but he needs to be vigilant about protecting them.
     
  12. army judge

    army judge Super Moderator

    Messages:
    32,029
    Likes Received:
    4,767
    Trophy Points:
    113

    Some ideas are just too preposterous for me to even entertain, much less execute.

    That said, genetic testing reveals the pappy and the mammy.
     
    Zigner likes this.
  13. leslie82

    leslie82 Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    1,775
    Likes Received:
    240
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Actually he has zero parental rights at this moment because he never established them. If he didn't sign an AOP and he's not on the birth certificate - legally he's no one to that kid.
     
  14. Zigner

    Zigner Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    2,097
    Likes Received:
    1,094
    Trophy Points:
    113

    After digging deeper in to Florida's laws, I see thatyou are correct. The OP will need to, at the very least, put it in writing to the appropriate folks that he is the father. The OP should consult an attorney ASAP.
     

Share This Page