i have a 4 year old daughter with my ex. I was not in her life on a regular basis for the first three years. I moved out of state when she was 6 months old and did not have a lot of contact with her. there were phone calls few and far in between because there was never any agreement with my ex. we would always end up fighting over the phone and i just chose not to do that. i did want to be in my daughter's life, but felt there was nothing i can do because her mother would not let me see her and my daughter was too young to talk to me. i returned to california last year and started to see my daughter whenever her mother had time which was never. i would call her to make arrangements to see our daughter, but she said it always had to be on their time, and not mine. dealing with my daughter's mother has always been difficult. she has always resented me for leaving her. i was young at the time and did not always think about consequences for my actions. i have to pay court ordered child support which i am not current on. after months of calling my daughter's mother and leaving messages and being ignored and being called a loser, i finally got some advice and took her to court. i was granted visitation every saturday for three hours for two months, after that we would return to court and work something else out. i only got short visitation due to lack of relationship with my daughter. i used my visitation and on the 7th visitation day, my daughter did not want to see me. when i went to pick her up, she ran to the closet and hid from me and said she wanted her mother. so i left, hurt and ashamed. the week before, i talked to her mother, she asked me if i wanted to sign over my parental rights, i told her i would never do that. but now after that episode with my daughter, i'm thinking that i should. it is too painful to talk with her mother, and after all, i did not help raise our daughter anyway, and she does not want to see me. do i have a chance of getting the judge to agree with me in giving up my parental rights without a stepparent involved?
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too hard to deal, should i (can i ) sign over my rights?
- Thread Starter tommyt
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Without a step parent willing to adopt, then chances are nil. Somebody needs to support this child.
This mother is alienating the child from you.
Were you married to her? If not, has paternity been established?
If the mother is not letting you see or talk to the child and not allowing visitation, she is in contempt and you need to file contempt charges in court.
Don't give up. If you let this woman walk all over you, she will win.
The daughter is too young to make any decisions. You have the right to form a father-daughter relationship and if mom is interfering, you need to see an attorney to protectr your rights. Mom cannot legally withhold phone, or personal visitation.
This mother is alienating the child from you.
Were you married to her? If not, has paternity been established?
If the mother is not letting you see or talk to the child and not allowing visitation, she is in contempt and you need to file contempt charges in court.
Don't give up. If you let this woman walk all over you, she will win.
The daughter is too young to make any decisions. You have the right to form a father-daughter relationship and if mom is interfering, you need to see an attorney to protectr your rights. Mom cannot legally withhold phone, or personal visitation.
duranie,
thank you for your advice.
i was never married to this woman, and paternity has been established.
i do have another question maybe you can answer.
if i have court ordered visitation, even if my child does not want to see me on my visitation day, do i have the right to still use my
thank you for your advice.
i was never married to this woman, and paternity has been established.
i do have another question maybe you can answer.
if i have court ordered visitation, even if my child does not want to see me on my visitation day, do i have the right to still use my
Yes yes yes
Absolutely! A child cannot "refuse visitation". It's your right! Fight for it!!!
You may have to go through a period of "introduction" for lack of a better term. Basically, they would be short periods of visitations (perhaps only hours) just to get your daughter used to the idea of having you around. Don't be offended! Believe it or not this is the best for the child considering you are a virtual stranger at this point. Also make sure that you make regular contact via the telephone!!! Let her hear your voice between physical visitations! This will help strengthen the bonds.
Mom might fight you tooth and nail...but don't be discouraged! Go here for some great advice from people who have been right where you are now!
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/
Absolutely! A child cannot "refuse visitation". It's your right! Fight for it!!!
You may have to go through a period of "introduction" for lack of a better term. Basically, they would be short periods of visitations (perhaps only hours) just to get your daughter used to the idea of having you around. Don't be offended! Believe it or not this is the best for the child considering you are a virtual stranger at this point. Also make sure that you make regular contact via the telephone!!! Let her hear your voice between physical visitations! This will help strengthen the bonds.
Mom might fight you tooth and nail...but don't be discouraged! Go here for some great advice from people who have been right where you are now!
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/
I wanted to add
that you have to expect the child to not understand what is going on. Like I said, you are a virtual stranger to her. If there is any way to get Mom to bring her to a "neutral" meeting place such as McDonald's for the exchange, it would be MUCH easier than trying to pick the child up from her home!!!
That is a completely unfair move on Mom's part (and probably planned to thwart your attempt to bond with your daughter!) You need it stipulated that the exchanges happen on "neutral ground" where Mom brings the child to you and then leaves the child WITH you. That way the child sees that Mom is entrusting you with her care rather than allowing the child to hide from you. SHAME ON HER!!!
Good luck!
that you have to expect the child to not understand what is going on. Like I said, you are a virtual stranger to her. If there is any way to get Mom to bring her to a "neutral" meeting place such as McDonald's for the exchange, it would be MUCH easier than trying to pick the child up from her home!!!
That is a completely unfair move on Mom's part (and probably planned to thwart your attempt to bond with your daughter!) You need it stipulated that the exchanges happen on "neutral ground" where Mom brings the child to you and then leaves the child WITH you. That way the child sees that Mom is entrusting you with her care rather than allowing the child to hide from you. SHAME ON HER!!!
Good luck!
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